myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.

Pages (133): [ First ][ Previous ] 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 [ Next ] [ Last ]

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I just want to grab a piece of sand paper, scrub off every inch of skin on my face, burn myself alive, and jump off a cliff until I'm every bit the macabre mess I feel like.
Fuck me.
Fuck the world.
Fuck the snow.

In the face of forever, I'm just another angry, screaming ghost.

I feel so Godless right now. I can't do anything right at all today.

I'd say I love you, but I really don't know if you want the love of a monster like me.
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I JUST DEFEATED THE ELITE FOUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
YES, YES,YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!
GOTTA BEAT EM ALL, MUTHA FUCKA!!!
ily
~Belinda.
P.S. Might post again later.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's that time of the morning again when everything feels like it's made of broken glass. Ugh. Morning paranoia.

I found out last night that my aunt is not schizophrenic, as I thought she was, but schizo-affective. I have no idea what that means, but apparently she doesn't hear voices or hallucinate in the general sence. I'm very curious, but I don't really want to ask her about it, because that's personal shiz, you know?
Thing is, she's my godmother, so I want to know more about her. :/ I don't know.

Urgh. '-__- I have "Holding Out for a Hero" stuck in my head again.

Should probably be working on my essay, but the program won't work on the school's shitty computer.
I get really paranoid when I'm not accomplishing anything, so I'ma go read ma book and edumacate myself, mm'k? :P
ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, January 23, 2011

COUSIN ATHENA
Twas my cousin Danielle's birthday party today. Sat around, ate cake, listened to her dreamy boyfriend tell funny stories, and overall just forgot to be difficult and belligerent... Until the ride home, of course.

The truth is, I am unspeakably jealous of Dani almost to a point where I can't stand her, but then I see her in person and cannot help but be charmed out of my bitchiness.
Fuck me. '-__- Here's a poem.

Like an abstract painting,
Cousin Athena's all colors, no shape.
She wears bandages on her wrist bones to hide the scars under her skin.
When she talks, she drops names like bombs as if the smoke will somehow cover up the fact that she's not me and never will be.
When she walks, she's a blur--all purpose, no grace, a herald in the body of a queen.
When she bleeds, Moses looks to God in confusion and says "I thought I already parted the Red Sea."

When I first saw her after we finally knew enough to know ourselves, I couldn't help but ask my mother, "Does Athena have amnesia?"
"No, Aphrodite," replied she. "She knows who she is, just not what she means. But she knows that you mean the world to the world, and since you're already You at your best, she feels that all she can do is try be you at your average."
"What?"
"Basically, she's a goddess trying to be a nymph."

ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, January 21, 2011

My lips are chapped.
My stomach, empty.
My eyes are black.

OH, LOOKAHAIKU! Jk. I can't write haiku's to save my life--It involves counting syllables, and that's one of my least favorite ways to write a poem.

Which also explains my epic failfulness at writing sonnets. I swear, Shakespeare was a god to be able to write all his shiz in iambic pentameter because every time I try to do it, everything I write comes out sounding like a very gag-worthy sixth grader trying to sound deep.

Speaking of poetry, Vignette meeting was yesterday and... Ugh. I love that place and those people, I really do, but the politics are starting to kill me!

People are starting to talk about each other behind their backs and since I'm "diplomatic" and like pretty much everybody, it's kinda getting to me.

I mean, there's an old saying about gossip. Something along the lines of "If people talk to you about other people, then they'll talk other people about you." And that makes me really paranoid. If people are saying such horrible things about each other to me, then what are they saying to each other about me?

Normally, this wouldn't matter so much, but these people are my friends, some of my very favorite people, so needless to say I'd be very hurt if they turned out to secretly hate me.

I don't know. Things like this just make me very paranoid. '-__-

Ugh... I feel like I'm a thousand years old. Like, I can literally feel the skin sagging beneath my eyes. Tisn't pleasant.
ily
~Belinda

Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

We have a one hour delay because of snow puddles. XD

Fuz, I don't have Soul Silver either. I was talking about the original Pokemon Silver game because I rock OLD SCHOOL HARD LIKE THAT!!

Also: My tummy hurts. >:( Why do I ALWAYS have tummy problems on school days in the morning? Always at the same time of day, too. RIDICULOUS.
ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ha. I just found out my arch nemesis is planning on attending the same community college as I am. '^^
Hahahahaaaaaaaaa. Great. Just when I thought the drama was over.
Oh well. I kinda had a feeling he wouldn't be that easy to escape.

We had a day off today because it snowed a little last night. Ahhh, us east-coasters and our snow paranoia! Gotta love it.

I feel like saying something ironical, but all I can do is smile wryly, so I guess just picture that.

My entire weekend (including today) was spent playing Pokemon Silver. I'm on the Elite Four, and for the life of me, I CANNOT beat those bastards.
I also have to do hella Shakespeare research, but I just cannot get it up for the project. There's just too much speculation, and I suck at analyzing things. ;_//

Anyway:

I gotta print stuff out for my little, coughing sister.
NO MORE THERAPY FOR ME!!!! ;_;
ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, January 16, 2011

You know, I just realized something today. My recent vanity/obsession with makeup is INCREDIBLY stupid. All the people I admire most--the saints, Mother Theresa, Jesus, nuns, etc--don't wear makeup, but all the people I don't have any respect for--Snooki, Britney Spears, Heidi Montag, any other stupid reality TV bitch--do, so how come I always try to look like the ones I don't respect?

AHHHHHHHHH, PARADOXES.

I'm tired of this insecurity/body dismorphic disorder/vanity shit. It's so stupid how "proper young ladies" are supposed to be ashamed to leave the house without so much as eyeliner or lipstick on when everybody else can just throw themselves on and go.

Not only that, but it hurts my skin and irritates my eyes, so... Yeah. :(

I think I'm about due for a trip to Dunkin Donuts.
ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Went to a dance last night with my friends Margaret and Scott at Scott's school. It was fun. Me and Margaret were the only one's actually dancing though. Everyone else was either butt-fucking or dry-humping... Or both.
There's no such thing as school dances anymore--just school orgies.

Seems like everywhere I look, there's sex and death, but last night was one of the rare occasions that I wasn't alone in feeling like this.
"My friends are everything. My friends are a different breed. <3"

Today we're celebrating Margaret's birthday. She's turning 19 on Monday. Anybody know where we can buy some good strippers? XD
ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
I REALLY don't want to go back down this road. I don't want to hate, blame, or be angry anymore. I want to move on so desperately, but my heart, like a wild horse, keeps jerking me along down that path because she thinks she smells carrots when it's actually just him.

I don't need him. I don't want him. I don't like him, but I don't hate him. And he's fine with that, so why can't we just stay that way without any interference?

'-___-
Our school has a two hour delay because of the snow.
I'ma go facebook for a minute and then play Pokemon.
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL, MUTHAFUGGA.
ily
~Belinda
Comments (0) | Permalink

Pages (133): [ First ][ Previous ] 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 [ Next ] [ Last ]

Anime | How to Draw Anime | Anime Wallpapers

Top of Page