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Birthday • 1993-05-02 Gender •
Female Location • Here Member Since • 2005-05-30 Occupation • Life preserver :) Real Name • Belina
Personal
Achievements • http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said Anime Fan Since • Ever since Pokemon Favorite Anime • I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3 Goals • Make it out of here in one piece Hobbies • Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown Talents • :)
myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
DHGILSDLSHGDGVHEIURG AAHHHHHHHH!!! '-___-
The aftermath of homecoming finds me exhausted and frustrated.
I hate it. I absofckinglutely hate it.
Margaret did a HORRIBLE job crotch-blocking me and Justin because she was texting her boyfriend all night so he kept making moves on me, trying to get me to grind on him, and I was like HELLLLLLLL NO!
Justin is a great guy, but last night I just wanted to strangle him. The entire time, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs O EM EFFING GEE, TAKE THE DAMN HINT!! I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!
"It's a strange way of saying I know I'm supposed to love you...." But I don't. So stop forcing yourself on me.
And then my ex showed up and started following us around like the stalking, irritating fcktard he is and you know what? Argh. Just arghhhhhh.
The whole experience has just made me see all the pros of being a nun--such as nobody making a move on you.
But the thing is, if I become a Sister, I want to become one for the right reasons, not just because I'm giving up on guys. What's more, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up on guys--even if they are all either or all stupid, ugly, or simply not my type.
I*sigh* I need a video.
So tonight's the homecoming dance.
I'm going with Justin to dance and Margaret to crotch-block me and Justin. Ahhhh, it's good to have best friends. :)
I had yesterday off from school because it was professional development day and I went to the mall with Margaret and my friend Mike. It was alright. Mike's changed a lot thogh. He seems more withdrawn and infinitely more self-absorbed, which, I gotta say is annoying. I miss the old, spastic, sex muffin Mike. Awesome people desperately need to stop becoming un-awesome. It's simply not cool.
And... Shane Dawson, anyone?
So it's the end of the school week, and I wish I could say everything is completely golden now, but that would be a lie.
I'm in an incredibly fragile and unstable emotional state. I think it'll be a while before I'll ever be okay completely.
I feel so empty right now, like in the very pit of my stomach there's just this void of... not really depair, but some sort of cold, sad feeling. I think what I really need to do is just channel all my emotions into my writing.
Throw myself into my work, ya know?
For those of you who are seriously worried though, keep in mind I am rife with hormones and when I get like that it's usually because I'm PMSing. Pray for me though, and for my family--my dad STILL doesn't have a job.
And Stephy--I love you, boo. Even when I can't live for myself, I'll still live for you. <3
I love you all
~Belinda Comments (0) |
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Monday, October 11, 2010
I feel SO. FUCKIN. DEPRESSED. and I don't know why.
Nothing I do seems to matter. I feel like if I just dropped dead right now, no one would even notice.
Gonna go cry and play sims now. Or maybe pokemon?
Whatever.
gkguk
UGHHHHHHHH...Last night'-__-
I am INCREDIBLY dull without Margaret. Usually, I'm loud and obnoxious and crazy and fun, but last night... Argh. I was so distant and quiet and moopy and weird.
Developing a major self-loathing complex here.
As for the SAT... Ehhhhhhh.
I bombed the math and did okay on the English.
Probably gonna have to take it again sometime. O Well. :(
Gonna go on facebook and feel sorry for myself now.
ily
~Belinda
Ughh,,, '-__- I'm so fckin tired.
Had to get to school a half hour early today to buy fckin homecoming tickets
See, when I told my friend I didn't want to go, he basically begged me to go and even offered to pay for it so I was like "alright...'-__-"
At least Margaret's going with me so it won't really be a date.
I mean, ?Justin's a great guy, but he's just really not my type.
Then again, my type is hawt metrosexual and it order to attract metrosexual guys you need to be even more feminine than they are, and considering I'm somewhat of a tomboy, that's always been hard for me. Hmm...
Do there exist any lesbian metrosexuals anymore? I sure hope so.
Oy. I need some caffeine... or a nap.
Why don't they have naptime at highschool? Teenagers need the most sleep, so why they let us when we can? I mean, we're biologically programmed to stay up late, so going to bed early's not the answer, yet school forces us to wake up early. Wtf?
And then there's this debate about starting school later. WEll, that won't work because of the bus schedule.
Honestly, I think we should just have high school at night, when everybody's awake anyway, but nobody wants to give up their "me time."
Also, I'm taking the SAT tomorrow, so I probably won't be able to catch up on my sleep til Sunday and unless somebody slips me a rufee(sp?), there's no way I'll be able to go to bed early on a friday night. Thats when all my friends wanna hang out with me, and we've already established that I can't say no.
Well, that's my rant for the day. Bye
ily
~Belinda Comments (0) |
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Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Another stressful day, but I'm alright for now.
I'm finding it kind of hard to break it to my one friend that I'm not going to homecoming with him after all, but I just don't. want. to. fucking. go! '-__-
I thought I would as it got closer, but I really don't.
In other news, I think most days I'm too busy dying to live.
In better news, it is now officially October.
I don't care what your calender has been saying for the past few days, this is the first day me and my family have eaten pumpkin-flavored ice-cream--which is a lot more delicious than it sounds--together, so October did not officially start til today.
I'm feeling incredibly restless lately. Hell, I feel like a monster honestly.
Annd now I got a headache. Ahhh '^^ Life.
ily
~Belinda Comments (0) |
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Monday, October 4, 2010
FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DX<
AArgh!
I'm so stressed. Too much to do. I need a vacation. '-___- Or drive time. Haven't driven in months. Should be hella long before I get my license at this rate. Poopsack.
As if this was not enough, I'm also having writers block.
Stephy, we're having the exact same problems. It's supposed to rain nonstop for the next three days. On the bright side, we could probably save money on the water bill by filling a bucket of rainwater, cooking it on the stove, and using it to bathe in. :/ Isn't that what they did in the olden days? I don't know.
I'ma go comment you guys now.
ily
~Belinda Comments (0) |
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Sunday, October 3, 2010
I just realized that I accidentally included a link to Dan's myspace in my last post.
I'm half-tempted to ask anyone who reads this to go troll him, but I know they'd trace it back to me somehow and I would really rather not deal with the drama.
Watched Julie and Julia today. It was pretty good. Me and my brother spent half the movie trying to imitate Julia Child's exagerated, lilting way of speaking. You guys should have heard her, it was hilarious.
Anyway, me and Margaret had somewhat of an adventure last night. We went to this extremely urban mall to meet one of Marg's friends there, but this friend cancelled on her right when we both arrived, so we were basically just walking around for two hours, trying not to get raped or panhandled. On the bright side, I did get to eat some Panda Express, which was delicious. I adore Chinese food, but it's so expensive, I hardly ever get to eat it. Maybe I'll learn to cook it myself one day. Who knows.
In other news, the big Baltimore Ravens Vs. Pittsburgh Steelers football game is today(right now, actually) and everybody' downstairs watching the game as I'm typing this. Practically all week, everybody at school has been shizzing their pants about this game, as anybody who knows anything about American football knows that we "true Baltimoreans" can't stand the Steelers. Personally, I couldn't care less though. I was never into football--unfortunately, my family is, so I'm kind of stuck here without anything to do besides homework and Pokemon. Bleh. :P
It's also my Grandmom's eighty-something-ith birthday, though, so a lot of my relatives are coming over.
ily
~Belinda Comments (0) |
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gkguk