Sunday, August 1, 2010

Oyyy... I think I'm getting sick. And it sucks because me and my family are supposed to go to Hershey Park tomorrow.
In other news, I can't believe it's August already. Seriously, Summer is going by waaaaaaaaaaaaay too fast. Ergh. '-___-

My teeth feel sore... Anyway, it hurts my head way too much to try to be interesting today, so here's... a thing. I don't know.

Shane=Love.
I Shane you all
~Belinda
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Saturday, July 31, 2010

In the midst of all that facebook drama, it finally dawned on me that I completely forgot to post about my experience in DC.
I went to work there for a day at this place called the Dorothy Day Center for Feeding the Homeless, and basically I spent the afternoon chopping up vegetables and then serving the food to the homeless in the streets.
After that, we came back to the house where we'd prepared the food earlier and enjoyed a dinner of Spaghetti and veggies. It was nice. I can't really describe it that accurately, but it definitely felt good. :)

And let's see, what happened today? Well, I was not able to sleep at all last night for whatever reason and basically just lay in the dark with my eyes closed until 5:00 in the morning. I then wrote the beginning of what is hopefully going to be my first completed serious narrative in a long time.
It's basically going to be a new and improved version of my old story, The Catalyst, for those of you who know what the heck I'm talking about. lol Because while I was laying in bed, I came across some of the pages of the The Catalyst and I thought to myself, "Oh, HELLLLLLLLL no. I just gotta fix this shit!"
So that's basically how this new project came about. It's going to be called Catalysts Never Die. I'm probably not going to post it here but if anybody ever wants to read what I have so far, just tell me in a comment and I'll message it to you. Okay? Okay.

Oh, and for all you local Metalheads, my brother went to Summer Slaughter yesterday, so if you were there, you might have seen him.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd,
That's all I got.
ily
~Belinda
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Oh my gosh...
Facebook. Like... Geez. It's 2:15 in the morning, I can't sleep. I logged on to facebook just to kill time and I saw that this friend of my ex's had commented on this video he posted on my profile.
It was a song I had really liked and I told him so, then asked if my ex had told him that.
And he said something along the lines of: "Yeah, but he doesn't like you at all anymore. He's moved on so get over it. And I'm glad he did [move on] from you."

And I was shocked. Because frankly I don't even know this kid. I'm not even sure if he is who he says he is. He might just be my ex on a fake account.
Either way, it was completely uncalled for.
Like, I was so blindsided by it. Then again, I guess I should have expected it, him being friends with my ex and all.
But honestly, if he hated me so much, why'd he even bother to add me? It's so stupid.
Well, I can't think, so I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Night.
ily
~Belinda
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Thursday, July 29, 2010

I've got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I can't eat, I can't pray... Something's up.
I really hope I don't have a relapse. I'm supposed to go to DC today to help out at this homeless shelter and I obviously can't be having convulsions on the floor.
Ergh...
Pray for me.
ily
~Belinda
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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A very peculiar occurrence has just occurred.

My family and I were out running errands (getting my allergy shot, using some coupons at the local Panera Bread, and school supplies-shopping at Target) when all of the sudden I felt this severe pain in my lower, central abdomen. At first, I thought it was just a very serious bout of PMS because I usually have horrible cramps right before I get my period, but then the pain got worse.
It felt as though someone had taken a rusty old knife, set on fire, and then stuck it inside me. If we didn't get to the hospital fast enough, I was prepared to grab the nearest sharp object and perform surgery on myself just so the pain would stop.
Strangely, though, after we arrived at Patient First and I had unsuccessful journey to the bathroom (nothing came out) the pain began to subside slightly, I was able to stop sweating so profusely (although I could not stop shaking because the room was a freezer), and the color returned to my face.
After a blood and urine sample test, the doctor informed my mother and I that my blood was infected and that said infection probably was caused by the inflamed, baby egg-plant-sized bump on my arm that appeared minutes after I got my allergy shot. The excruciating abominable pain I had experienced, however, was completely without medical explanation.
And so now, here I sit, perplexed at what could have possibly caused me to have such severe pain. I've never felt anything like that before. I almost thought that I was somehow the new Virgin Mary, about to give birth to the Antichrist, and that my afflictions were unholy contractions.
However, although the cause of my pain is unknown, I am not the least bit curious about my recovery. My mother was frantically praying the Mamore (a very powerful prayer to the Holy Mary) as we raced to the Patient First so my recovery is no doubt the Virgin Mary's doing.
For this reason, I fully intend to name a child after her. I haven't yet decided which form of Mary to use though. I've always been fond of Maria and Molly, but I don't want to use both because they both mean the same thing and this might cause my daughters (should I have daughters) to have identity issues. So, Maria or Molly. Or maybe even Marie. Thoughts?

But, anyway, I'm not completely better. My throats still a little bit swollen from the allergy shot so it's a little bit hard to breath and the swelling on my arm hasn't really gone down at all.

On a more random note, somebody just called us from Cincinnati. O.o
Odd.
ily
~Belinda
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Sunday, July 25, 2010

SIDE-PROJECT OF DEATH!
Okay, Corn, I gotta say the heavy metal version is so much better than the actual one with all it's crappy auto-tuneyness and whatnot.
And that Cannibal Corpse SpongeBob thing.... Well, it gave me nightmares. I gotta say, Mrs. Puff was wailing on that guitar though.
Congratulations on being the only one to even attempt to figure out the lyric game, btw.

Today was okay. Tonight was better. Got to see Shrek: The Final Chapter (which was pretty good) with Margaret. After that, Nick swung by and we got some pizza and talked and overall just had a blast being our scandalous, skanky selves.
It was by far the best night I ever had in a long time.
I just love Nick. He simplifies all my complications, makes me laugh away all my anger and forget all my drama. He's like the perfect drug.
Hm... I feel as though I should post a video.

AND I FELT RIGHT!
ily
~Belinda
P.S. You all are better than drugs.
P.S.S. Wow, that was really chessy.
P.S.S.S. Screw it. I don't care. RAINBOWS AND PUPPIES AND MUFFINS AND UNICORNS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!
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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Corn: Riveting tale, chap. But I prefer this little diddy:

PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS IN THE FUCKING AIR! :D

Littleinugirl: Well, it wasn't THAT brave. I never would've been able to do it in person. My advice is to anticipate rejection because it's a lot less scary when you know for certain it's there. Don't tell a person you like them in the hopes they might like you back (even if they probably do), tell them so you can get the stress of keeping it to yourself off your back... If that makes any sense at all. It probably doesn't. XD Oh, don't mind me. I've been bat-shit crazy for weeks.

Stephy: You're right. It feels SO much better now that all this shit is out the open. I'm still going slightly insane with unrequited affection, but well, what are you going to do?
Ooh! I think your athletic masochism is contagious because I almost drowned myself doing an ungodly amount of laps in the pool! YAY, PHYSICAL OVEREXERTION!! :DDD

Faroe: I didn't really see that as a "you go, girl!!!" moment, but okay. I have to admit it did feel good though.

B0o0o0o0o0o0o0o, everyone!
Hmm... What is there to talk about? Absolutely nothing. Let's play the lyric convo game!
It's a game where we have a conversation made up of nothing but lyrics.
Here, I'll give an example for who have never played before.

Him: Hey there, Delilah.
Her: That's not my name.
Him: I'm sorry.
Her: It's too late to apologize.
Him: How could you be so heartless?
Her: It's not my fault, it's the way my mama made me.

And so on and so forth. I'll post the first lyric in my comments to start the game and we can just play it until our hearts burst out of our chests from excitement and what not.
ily
~Belinda
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Friday, July 23, 2010

Bo0o0o0o0o0o00o0o, Myotaku!

So. I confessed my love to Mike last night on Facebook and I have to admit I do feel better. But that's probably because I haven't read what he wrote back yet. D: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, distress!

I kinda get the feeling he already knew I liked him though. I'm horrible at hiding my feelings towards guys. I have no pokerface whatsoever.
But anyway, I can't do this alone, so I'm just going to go to Facebook while I'm still logged on here and am then going to angst about in this post.
Ready? Here we go. *click. New window*

Okay so here's what I wrote:

Alright, look, this whole keeping-everything-to-myself-thing-until-I-explode thing ain't working out, so I'm just going to come right out and say it: I like you. You probably don't like me back because of the whole transsexual thing or maybe because I'm just not your type, but either way I'm fine with it. We can still be just friends or close acquaintances or whatever we are now, I just wanted to make sure I said it, because I hardly ever get the nerve to confess my attraction to the guys I like and it's been driving me crazy for weeks.
And I'm really sorry for saying this to you on facebook of all places. I know it's completely lame and cliche but it was kind of a now-or-never thing so it was basically my only choice.

And here's what he wrote:

lol it's cool. To be honest, I'm surprised that whole thing is still going around about me, considering it's not totally true. And the only reason I don't have any relationships and probably never will is because my romantic attractions and sexual attractions don't exactly line up. So it would never work out with anyone anyway. :/ Sorry. But I would love to be friends with you. :)

*HUGEBREATHOFRELIEFOMGGGGGGG* He still wants to be friends! I'm so happy! HE'S NOT REPULSED BY MEEEEEE!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

I'ma go thank God til my throat bleeds now.
Go0o0o0o0o0o0d bye for now. :)
ily
~BElinda kafhfisahfk
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Thursday, July 22, 2010

   Oh.
I'm in such a strange mood today.
There's an ache in my stomach and a sting my eyes. In one sense I'm perfectly happy, but in another I just wanna cry myself to sleep until I can see him again.
This him is a guy named Mike. My latest obsession. It doesn't make any sense because I barely know the dude yet every time I so much as glance at a picture of him, I'm overcome with the deepest sense of longing. Ughh... '-__- Why do I have to fall so hard so easily?
The worst part is, he wants to become a girl, so technically he's transsexual, but he doesn't act like a girl at all. He likes your everyday typical straight guy.
Which leads me to my next issue: Is it really him? Or have I just fallen in love with a mask, a facade?

*HUGESIGHOMG*
Here's a poem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVESTRUCK BARBIE

Tear my heart out and replace it with a hunk of plastic.
Hammer me down to the right size,
Dilate my green eyes blue.
Paint my chiaroscuro brown hair sunshine blond,
And touch me, feel me, hear me.

I wanna be your baby doll,
Beloved toy, pride and joy.
Everything you ever wanted but could never have.
Love, for you I'll be paint and plastic.
Doesn't matter how drastic.
Everything I never could be, I will be.

Because I wanna be your baby doll.
I want to be your fantasy (even if I'm just a reality.)

Ily
~Belinda
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

THAT'S NOT MY NAME.

<3 Ting Tings.
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