Saturday, October 17, 2009

I'm supposed to do this tag thing today where I answer 5 questions and then tag another person. But I can't really remember what the questions are because I can barely keep my eyes open right now, so I'm just going to wing it.

1.If you were to name your offspring after a fruit or vegetable, which fruit or vegetable would it be?

Zucchini or Lemon. Zucchini, simply because it's the most awesome name ever and Lemon because I just think it's a cute name.

2.If you go back in time and be any famous or historical figure, who would you be?

Joan Jett. Her and the Runaways are the ones who originally made it cool for chicks to rock out. Not to mention, there is not a single Joan Jett song I have heard that I do not like.

3.Does your hair style in any way, shape, or form resemble that of a cartoon/anime character?

If I dyed it light brown and cut an inch off the bottom layor, it probably look exactly like Kyoko Mogami's hair.

4. Which stereotypical soap opera character do you most identify with?

Amnesia Guy. XD Because I tend to forget most things over the weekend. "What's my name again...?"

5. If you were a candy, which candy would you be?

Probably one of those really sexual candies they sell in stores like Spencer's. Mostly because everyone agrees I'm a boob. lol And because I'm actually not half as innocent as people perceive me to be.

And Lavi? Tag. You're it.

Made a bunch of chaotic videos with Margaret today. lol Half of it was me and her discussing our "marriage." Twas pretty sexy. =)
ily
~Belinda
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Friday, October 16, 2009

Hang me by the crucifix now,
It's the only pure way to die.
I've gone down way too many times
To grow up the way I wanted.
Why does it have to be so hard
To escape the ache between
These too-young, too-soon legs?
I never meant for it to turn out like this.
I never meant for it to be so heavy.
The only thing they'll never be able to
Extract from me is this rosary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It won't stop hurting.
Help me.
ily
~Belinda
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm in a good mood.
I know no one ever comments me when I'm in a good mood so I'm not really putting this up here to attract attention so much as I am to serve as proof that I was in fact happy in the past 48 hours.
Because, in case you haven't noticed, that doesn't really happen very often, unfortunately.
Well, not lately anyway.
Oh, and Lavi? I only have one thing to say to your proposition: YES. YESYEYSYSYEYEYSYSSYSYYSYSYSYSYSY
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES.
That is all.
ily all
~Belinda
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Monday, October 12, 2009

Good news: Someone I am almost completely compatible with likes me.

Bad news: He is an atheist. I am a religious Catholic. He has a girlfriend. He is a notorious manwhore. I only know him through myspace, so for all I know he could be some 40-year-old living with his mom. Even if he isn't, he lives all the way in Illinois and no way in Hell am I going back to long-distance relationships.

Ha.
Life is so hafuckinglarious, ain't it?

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

I'm tired. And delightfully dizzy.
My mother is looking for Lysol.
I am looking for a way out.

It's been a very chaotic weekend. I have concluded, though, in the midst of this weekend haze, that I am for the moment done with boys.
No more makeup.
No more perfume.
No more dressing up for anyone except myself.

From now on, if the bastards wanna ignore me, they can be my guests. I'm sick of killing myself trying to catch someones attention. Honest, they can all go fuck themselves. Fo sho.

In other news... I seem to have gotten myself addicted to a new manga/anime series by the name of High School Debut.
It's cute.
It's sweet.
It makes me smile.
It fully deserves every bit of product placement I'm giving it in this post.
Also, I got a bunch of other manga from the library as well.

I'm gonna call this my IGNORE REALITY EX-WIFE STAGE. This will involve being buried up to the top of my head in manga and delightfully dizzying books for the next few months if not years.

Yup. x3
ily
~Belinda
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Thursday, October 8, 2009

I hate love too, JoJo
I'll be living on potato chips and facebook quizzes for the rest of my life.
I've had the image of myself holding a gun in my mouth running through my head all day and all I wanna do is pull the trigger.
But, you know. Other than that, everything is just peachy. I am so restless. I gotta get out here soon.
I wish there was something I could do or say to make everything better, but I got nothing. Honest.
I really can't see a single bright side to any of this.

That's not the entire song, but oh wells.
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

So. I kind feel like shooting myself in the face.
But that is beside the point.

I've noticed that all I do lately is complain. While I am in quite a trying situation, that is no excuse to ignore and neglect all the good things I do have.
So here are the top ten things I am grateful for:

1. I am not pregnant.

2. I will not be pregnant for quite some time, as I am still a virgin and will hopefully remain a virgin until marriage.

3. My parents are wonderful, still very much in love with each other , and still married.

4. Most of my friends love me almost as much as I love them.

5. I do not have strep throat.

6. For that matter, I do not have any illness. (Well, except mental sickness.)

7. Only TWO.MORE.DAYS!

8. I could, in fact, write it better than you ever felt it. (But not without quoting Pete Wentz.)

9. My hair is afuckingmazing.

10. Myotaku exists and is filled with the most amazing individuals ever conceived.

Yeah, I just had to mention you guys in there somewhere. THREE CHEERS FOR FLATTERYYYYYYYY.

So, anyway. I think Joe has a girlfriend. He might have said ex-girlfriend, though I couldn't really hear him very well.

Also: Talked to Shaun today. The conversation went as follows:

Me: [pokes him] Hi

Him: You're talking to me now?

Me: Yup.

Him:Okay. I still just wanna be friends though.

Me: Okay.

Pause...

Him: My cat used me as a scratching post this morning.

Me: That sucks.

Him: Yup.

And that was basically it.
Well, besides me commenting on his glasses, but I couldn't remember the exact words verbatim so I didn't bother typing them.
It was pretty shitty though, because I heard from about two people that he said he was going to try to get back together. And then he says he just wants to be friends.

Whatever. When he gets his head out of his ass and decides to make sense, he can call me.

Let's see... What else.
Oh. My brother's got strep-throat.:(
Typical symptoms. A fever, lack of energy, sore throat, horrible, cough...
You know. The works.

And, now that I have nothing else to talk about, here is the weather for this afternoon:
71°F | °C
Current: Sunny
Wind: W at 19 mph
Humidity: 28%

Yup. Okay, than.
Bye.
ily all
~Belinda
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Monday, October 5, 2009

Okay, so about yesterday's post... I was only HALF serious, guys. I mean, really. You all know I'm not that stupid.... or that flexible. lol

Anyway...
Things just got a little more complicated.
See, for the past week, I've been sitting with my brother and his friends in lunch. There's this guy at the table named Joe.
Am I attracted to him?
Put it this way: I spent the 2 and a half hours following that lunch period day-dreaming about tackling him onto the floor(or into the wall) and pain-painstakingly examining his oral cavity with my tongue until the security officers pried us apart with a crowbar.

Am I gonna do anything about it?

No.

Why?

Because: he is a ninth-grader. I am a junior.
Not to mention: I just had my heart broken into a million pieces scattered into the far corners of the earth. The last thing I need is another relationship.

Well, no let me rephrase that: The last thing I need is another letdown. I'd LOVE to have another relationship, but only if it's guaranteed to last forever, and those are pretty hard to come by, so for the next for the few months or years or whatever, all I can really do is wait and heal.
WEll, I could do some of the things on yesterdays list, but that really wouldn't fix anything.
Anyway... Here's a video.

ily
~Belinda
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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Things I am bored/horny/desperate enough to do right now:

1. Knock on all the doors of all the neighborhood teenage boy dickheads and ask them if they would like to have hot, angry hate sex until our insides bleed.

2.Break into my ex-boyfriends house and steal some if not all of his porn/hentai.

3. Sell all my emo/goth/tomboyish clothes and use the money from the sale to buy an abundance of Hollister merchandise just to piss off my ex. (He hates Hollister. I, on the other hand, honestly could not care less what store the clothes are from as long as they're cute.)

4. Go lesbian for a day and taxt naked and/or naughty pictures of myself to all my bisexual female friends.

5. Film a youtube video of myself stripping to various, foreign, trippy techno tunes.

6. Fuck a pickle. (The actual vegetable, not the nickname for the male sexual appendage.)

7. Attempt to blow myself in public.

8. Explain to the doctors in the emergency room how my face got stick in front of my own genitalia after I break my spine in the act of trying to bend myself enough to blow myself in public.

9. Walk over to RiteAid and spend all my money on slutty eye makeup I don't need.

10. Go to myotaku and post a list of all the things I'm desperate enough to do right now.

ily
~Belinda
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Friday, October 2, 2009

>_>
So. I'm doing a little bit better today. Not much, but a little bit.
I'm in the library at school right now. My initial intention was to find more sources for my History Day project, but then I rememberedwe were going to have 4 more days in the library and overall I just didn't really care enough to summon the energy necessary to start looking.
It's been a real fucked up week and I seriously doubt it's gonna get any easier.
I'm probably going to die over the weekend. Of boredom or of lover seperation anxiety, I can't really say, but in any case... Shoot me. Please.

iklgklamrdkreosjmroesleo593895js9edkjARGSKJGAOIJFAK!!!

Yup. That about sums it up right there.

I can't decide whether it's going to be a really traumatic year or just a deathly boring one. This is the first year I don't have anyone to obsess over.
I can't go back to stalking Dan because I swore to myself under pain of death that I wouldn't.
I can't go back to HIM even if he wanted me to because no matter how much I miss him, I just can't bring myself to put myself through this kind of hell twice.
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
I can't spend the year killing myself over myself. That's just plain boring. I need a new cause. Well, no,"cause" is too noble a word. It's more like a drug. A human drug.
I'm not quite ready for another boyfriend and honest to God, if anyone even asks, I think I might just walk into oncoming traffic.
But I need a distraction. Something besides school, I mean. Something fun. Something to sustain my sanity. Something that doesn't just get me out of bed in the morning,but makes me GLAD to get out of bed in the morning.
Basically, I'm tired of just existing. I want to live. I want to enjoy. I want to grow. I want to thrive. I want to have a purpose.

The ironical thing is, the only reason I'm still typing this is to kill time. XD
Well, that and the fact that I'm bored out of my mind.
School is over is about 9 minutes. I have to stay after to work on a Spanish paper though. Ay, ayudeme, Dio! '-__-

Yo tengo hambre. Mucho hambre.

Well, you guys can talk to me any time over the weekend. Chances are, this is where I'll be spending about 75% of my time now.
See ya
~Belinda

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