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Vitals
Birthday • 1993-05-02 Gender •
Female Location • Here Member Since • 2005-05-30 Occupation • Life preserver :) Real Name • Belina
Personal
Achievements • http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said Anime Fan Since • Ever since Pokemon Favorite Anime • I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3 Goals • Make it out of here in one piece Hobbies • Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown Talents • :)
myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Stephy
I never quite knew where to find you.
I guess in the back of my mind,
I was always hoping you'd be there
But you had a trapdoor behind your face
Led somewhere I never got to see.
And now I'm just stuck writing one more song
For one more person who'll never get to hear it.
What the hell would you say?
What the fuck would you do?
I'm screaming, SCREAMING where are you?
So when you watched your life flash by
Through the headlights
And you let the light take you home,
Was it worth it?
After you loved, lived, and lied
As loudly as you could,
Would you do it any other way?
Could you do it any other way?
If and when I finally break through this
Wasteland of wear and tear,
When I find God and write Her down,
When they publish my universe,
Will you still be first in line for an autographed copy?
What the hell would you say?
What the fuck would you do?
I'm screaming, SCREAMING: I always loved you. Comments (0) |
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Monday, February 4, 2013
Stephanie(alphonse13) is dead.
I have no words. I never even got to meet her in real life. I never got to say goodbye.
Woke up plagued by memories. This house, this neighborhood, this whole damn city... it all reeks of him. As long as I'm here, it's almost like I'm trapped in my past.
Got a little bit better once I got to school though. Sat in the cafeteria, listening to my friends talk and laugh. Couldn't help but smile. Got my mind off things a little bit.
Almost fell asleep in Art History. I always get like this in the Winter time. Can't stay awake.
Don't sweat my cold sweats, baby.
You were only practice.
Guess I shouldn't take being used and lied to so personally.
You sure as hell never did.
I treated you better than your own mother
Built you up when she tore you down
But you just can't make a sky scraper out of an out house--or at least I can't.
Next time, do everyone a favor
And leave your heart in Ohio.
^Yeahhhhhh, I know it sucks. Bitter poetry always does. I'll get better as I get less angry. :P
But I'm unfortunately very good at holding a grudge so it could take a while.
Now I kind of understand how Ronnie Radke feels. He's with his new band and is more happier with them than he ever was with Escape The Fate, yet he still writes songs expressing anger and bitterness over being kick out of the band. It's the principal of the thing--that, and a hell of a lot of wounded pride. :/
Anyway, how are you all doing if you're still around? Hows school/work?
Hope you're all doing fine. I would be, except that I am sick--awful sick. Too sick to do arithmetic. (And apparently too sick to resist quoting obscure musicals.)
Anyway, I don't have classes on friday so I've been home all day, resting and wasting time on facebook. I did also finally manage to work on my story. I've had writers block for the longest time.
To be fair, I also wrote a little bit of my Human Sexuality homework, so the day wasn't a complete waste.
School starts up again tomorrow. My first class isn't until 12:45 so I'll probably just be hanging around campus, reading or standing in line for free food(they usually have free burgers for returning students the first few weeks of the new semester) until then.
Probably gonna be drinking hella green tea because I'm sick. Barely had any voice when I woke up this morning. I hope you all are okay. THis is probably a very busy time of year for a lot of you. I notice Stephy's myotaku was gone. Anybody hear from her recently? Anybody happen to get the address of the camp she was stationed at? I'd like to write her a letter or send her a care package if possible.
Gonna go skype with Christopher now (#exoticmidwestlovers #hashtagsliketwitter).
Take care of yourselves.
ily
~Belinda Comments (0) |
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Friday, January 25, 2013
My mom says this song reminds her of Christopher and me. I can sort of see it. I think my litany of emo love is a lot closer, but that's probably just personal preference talking.
Illinois was awesome because Chris and his family made it awesome. I'm almost positive I could go anywhere with him and have the perfect day. I'll post more details later along with some pictures. I will say this though: Any doubts I had about the relationship before are all completely blown away now. Not only are things with him perfect, but they are easy, natural, and oh-so-attainable. He's the only guy I can literally see myself spending the rest of my life with. Everyone before I loved and I wanted it to last forever, but I could never actually picture in my head going off and getting married to them. I can easily do that with Chris. I can see far past that, even: Living together, baring our children, raising them up into beautiful, respectable, and completely nerdtastic people, and spoiling the living hell out of our grandchildren.
The hardest part was leaving to go back to Baltimore. He almost broke down in tears at the airport. I almost did once he left. Spent almost the whole flight writing down every single detail of my time with him while it was still fresh in my mind.
Been writing love poems nonstop. XD
Went on the March For Life today. Took a bus down to DC with Margaret and our friend Harlan. Walked with the protesters for about 3 or 4 hours in the snow. It was pretty awesome. Made a shirt specifically for the occasion. On the front it says FEMINIST FOR LIFE and on the back is STOP HURTING OUR WOMEN AND KILLING OUR BABIES. I'm proud of it. It sums up one of the biggest reasons why I'm pro-life: It hurts women.
It's proof that our government doesn't care about women. IF they did, instead of offering women opportunities to terminate the pregnancy, they would provide day-care in schools for teenage mothers so the mothers wouldn't have to drop out of schools and create homeless shelters specifically for pregnant women with nowhere else to go and completely, COMPLETELY rework the adoption/foster home system so there wouldn't be so much abuse. But no. There's no support. There's only death.
Dead, dead tired. I leave for marion tomorrow. I hope I can breath in his house. He has a dog and. I'm allergic to certain breeds especially if they shed. Z
Margarets 21st birthday party is tonight. We're all going out to dinner at 7 and party til we pass out--which for me prolly won't take long at all. I'm falling asleep already.
Fun fact: the actress who plays Rose on Dr. Who used to be a pornstar. Yuuuuuuuuup.
