Tuesday, January 27, 2009

CASSIE!!! I have amazing news!
You probably already knew this, but Jon Walker mentioned your name on the thank you note of the Pretty. Odd. CD

READ THIS:
"Jon thanks:....Cassie for being more than perfect, your parents are amazing too."

SEE?!!?!?! YOUR NAME WAS IN A PANIC CD!!!! ARRRRRRGH!!! I'M SO JEALOUS, BUT SO BLOODY HAPPY FOR YOU, I COULD DROP DEAD OF HEART FAILURE!!!
X333333333

Oh, and everyone else:
Yes. I am happy today. It is the first snow day of the Winter, and I honestly could not be more ecstatic if I tried.
And not only that but my mommy just made a fresh batch of snickerdoodles that smell amazing. Srsly. Awesome.

How is everybody else's day so far?
Good, I hope.
I really do think all of you are amazing. No one else has given me half as much love and support as the kids on here have.
ily <3
~Belinda
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Sunday, January 25, 2009

USELESS POST, OMG
NyQuil is the meaning of life. I heart you, syruppy, alcoholic, cold medicine!

Vicks is my new obsession.

I shall commence the fucking up of everything via stalking him tomorrow.

There's a good chance I'll never get published in my school's literary magazine again. I blame Ms. Gerber.
She promised me a long literary career in that publication and therefore jinxed it, therefore rendering my would-be literary career null and void.
Grrrrrrr...
In the words of Wen-Wen:
"Hey, editor! I'm undeniable.
Hey, doctor! I'm certifiable."
Because, trust me, people, I am both.

My 5-year-old little sister is posing nude in front of the mirror again. ''-__-
What is it with little kids and nudity?

I mean, no wonder there are so many pedophiles out there! These damn kids won't stop tempting them.

... Wow, I just get more and more bitter by the second, don't I?

Sorry, mom. Sorry, God.
>_> ....
I should probably talk to my therapist now.

Ily
~Belinda
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Saturday, January 24, 2009

I have sworn off myspace.
Which is easier said than done, unfortunately. I think I'm addicted to the abuse and abandonment.
Ended up staying home on Friday, because luckily God loves me and gave me a cold so I wouldn't have to go and deal with him all day.
Thanks You, Jesus. Thank you, Mary. V.V

I actually sent him a message on myspace saying I was sorry for being such a stalker last year. I know he's not going to read it though. Anything pertaining to me is literally cancer to him. *shrugs*

Dood. I need to get me some orange juice.
GOTTA KEEPS MY IMMUNE SYSTEM UP, SONNNNNNNNNN.

Thanks so much for the love and encouragement, guys. I'd be so lost without you. *hugs everyone*

Immolate me in last Summer's leftovers.
Bury me in all the shades of fire and ice you can find.
My dear, you are no better then them.
The only difference is, you just have the face to over-compensate.
And the only thing that could make this worse would be having to hear you disgrace my name by saying it again.
And, oh, you think you know my secrets? You think you know everything?
Well, go ahead, tell the world.
There's not a single other thing you can do to hurt me now that the worst has already happened.
I lost everything the day I over-heard the effects of his and your conversation.

ily
~Belinda
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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Change will come...
... Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself to get me through the day.

I'm pretty much at the lowest of lows at this point. The only good thing that happened today was that Erin let me have her copy of Eclipse and Aquia loves me again because I smacked this jackass who was irritating the crap out of her with my bag. The jackass, in turn, now hates me. He barely knew I existed before then and I always thought he was somewhat of a bitch anyway, so it really shouldn't matter, but... I don't know, I just feel bad.

And, yes, people, I know there are other fish in the sea. At the moment, fuck the other fish in the sea. Right now, he's the only one that matters. Right now, He's all I can think about.

But now that THAT'S out of the way, I do in fact have good news:
Me and Margaritaville get to go to this over-the-weekend retreat up in Emmetsburg come February. Nothing but about 46 solid hours of prayer, meditation, and people who can actually relate to me and give advice that actually helps. And, on that note: Hallelujah. If anytime I needed divine intervention, now would be the time.

Annnnnnnnnd, just because I've (Coffee's For Closers) stuck in my head yet again, I'm gonna put the song up in this here video:

And just because I'm in dire need of something to laugh at right now, here:

And, with that, I leave you.
Good bye.
ily all
~Belinda
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

If you had 2 pairs of hands....
I'm trying really hard not to hate you and even harder not to love.
The entirety of last year was spent in one, colossal mistake.
What makes you think your words are going to make this year any different?

I don't care how much you disapprove of my swinging.
I don't care how much you dislike my singing.
I'll be screaming it from the rooftops til the day I die:
Bitch, I love you, and there's nothing you can do about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you had 2 pairs of hands, you'd use the first to say you loved me and the second to cross your fingers behind your back."

Dan Bennett===> D.B.=====> Douche Bag.

Suddenly, his initials make so much more sense to me.

ily all
~Love, Belinda (because he sure as hell never will)



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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I SUCK at writing poetry lately. Seriously, I always get at least one good line down, then I'm, like, overwhelmed by writersblock and can't think for the life of me of what to write next.

Oy... My back is all stiff. '-__-
... Know what? I feel like making a quiz. So I think I will.

WHICH MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE ARE YOU?

1. When I say "human," you think...
A. FOOD!
B.Something to sharpen my claws on.
C.Something to compeat with the werewolves for.
D.Ha! Foolish mortals.
E. Something to kill or be killed by.

2. Alright, so you're walking down the hall in, I don't know, some public place you go to everyday when you see one of your human friends being harassed by some obnoxious jackass. What do you do?
A. Say "HEY, MAN!! THAT'S MY LUNCH, er, FRIEND YOU'RE FUCKING WITH!!", beat the shit out of them, and then escort my oblivious human "friend" to a dark, secluded corner where no one can bother us, and... Have them for lunch.
B.Materialize next to my comrades attacker, growl and snarl menacingly at them until they leave, and walk/wait with my friend so no one bothers them again.
C.Sneak up behind the jackass and, when no one's looking, claw him in the back of the head with such force that he falls down, dead.
D. Pshaw! Please. I have no human friends. If I did encounter such a scenario, I'd just stay in the background and laugh at the poor fools.
E. Grudgingly observe the scene from my hiding-spot, then, when the very same victimizer passes by me later on, when the hall-way is deserted, avenge my friend's dignity.

3. What superhuman powers would you most like to posses?
A. Venomous fangs, claws, super speed, immunity to aging, and super strength
B. Fangs, claws, super strength, super speed, the ability to transform, and immunity to dying of old age
C.Fangs, claws, super strengh, super speed, the ability to walk up walls and on cielings, and the ability to transform
D. Immortality, the ability to fly, inhuman beuaty, the ability to shrink and grow at will, and mind-reading.
E. Claws, talons, wings/ability to fly, supersonic hearing, and super strength.

4. How do you lure your prey in?
A. Heh. I don't have to do a single thing: I'm so beuatiful they come to me all on their own.
B. Well... I don't really "lure" so much as I just go on a violent rampage and kill whoever happens to be in the way at the time.
C. Like choice B, only I'm a lot more subtle about it. I only have my "rampages" in private, secluded places, where no one but the unfortunate souls I choose to feast on can discover what I am.
D. "Prey"...? "Lure"...? Ew! I don't do none of that. I ain't no predator.
E. They don't know I exist, so it's just a matter of who happens to be out after dark. All I have to do is circle the sky, then swiftly swoop down, seize them with my talons, and fly away.

5. What are the stereotypical physical features of your kind?
A. Perfect angular face, blood-red eyes, tall, strong figure, and stone-cold, alabaster skin.
B. Err, nothing too specific. Basically, just lots of hair and a really strong, really tall build.
C.Long, dark hair, black, pupilless eyes, and an inhumanly strong body.
D. Unnatural hair-color, huge, wide, neon-colored eyes, small, slender frame, and luminescent skin that practically glows.
E. Black hair, black eyes, very angular, defined face, Midterranian skin, and, of course, huge, white, retractable wings.

Results:

A: Vampire.

B: Werewolf.

C: Lycan/Werecat

D: Fairy/pixie

E: Galen. (A cross between an angel and a harpie.)

Yeah, I know the descriptions are nonexistent this time. I'm sorry. V.V I would've typed more for the results, but I'm completely exhausted right now.
Not to mention, I felt it'd be kinda unnecessary. I mean, everybody knows what a vampire and a werewolf is, right?

ily guys.
~Belinda

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Monday, January 19, 2009

Well, everybody seems to be taking surveys now, so I figured I'd make one of my own.

1.What's your favorite number and why?
46. It's the number he wore on Friday.

2.Is there anything on you besides skin and hair and clothes right now?
Sweat and goosebumps. lol Unlikely combination. XD

3. If you could change the color of your eyes, would you?
No. I like my green eyes. Sometimes I wish they had more blue in them though.

4. How many times in the past 2 years has your computer crashed and the entire memory wiped out?
Oh, only about 50 million times. '-__- God only how many times I had to rewrite those unpeserved chapters of The Catalyst. Thank Heaven for flashdrives.

5. What is your mother looking for right now?
The toilet plunger. XD THe downstairs toilet overflowed. Again. For the thousandth time.

6. At this very second, which song do you think applies to you most and why?
I'm Bringing Sexy Back. lol, j/k, j/k. Umm... I don't know. Probably If I Were a Boy by Beyonce, because I've been in a rather femi-nazi mood lately.

7. If anyone--and I mean ANYONE--could become president, who would you nominate?
Either Pete Wentz or Davey Havoc. lawl. XD

8. What was the last rumor somebody started about you?
That I was gay. There's probably also another one going around that I'm on drugs or some shit, but whatever. *shrugs*

9. Is it snowing as you're typing this?
*Sniffle* ;~; No. It stopped snowing the second I considered the possibility of it being a snow-day tomorrow.

10. What are your thoughts on myspace?
STUUPIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

11. Is the letter X overrated?
Little bit. I feel like the letter Z doesn't get enough credit.

~Belinda
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Saturday, January 17, 2009

I ish @ Margaritaville's partaaaaaaaaaaay!!
I have managed to knock down a total of 3 pictures so far without even trying and without even the aid of alcohal. lawl. I love Margrat. She gets me high just by being in the same room.
Srly. No idea what I'd do without her.
Anyway, love you guys.
I'll talk to you all later.
~Belinda
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Friday, January 16, 2009

Only one thing could ruin a Friday like this.
And that's him. I didn't see him all day today, except for on the bus, and I can't stop sulking about it.
I know it doesn't matter, I know there's nothing I could do about it even if it did, and I know we still have a 3-day-weekend ahead of us, but...
Gawd, I just wanna be made of ectoplasm for 1 hour just so I can watch him live, just so I can follow him beyond the doors to his house.
I honestly think, at this point, I'd be happy just to know him. Really know him.
Right now, I don't even care if he likes me.

On the bright side: Margaritaville's 17th birthday party tomorrow. PARRRRRRRRRTAAAAAAAAAY! :D
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Something really weird happened today. Really, really, REALLY weird.

It all started this morning, when I woke up. My alarm didn't go off, so instead of waking up at 6 like I was supposed to, I woke up at 7. So my mom had to drive me to school, right? Meaning, I didn't get to see Dan on the bus, meaning I had no way of knowing at that point if he even came to school.
Okay, so about 2 hours later, right after second period, I go down this hall-way where me and Dan usually pass each other almost every day. He's not there.
A few hours after that, on my way to my 5th period class, I pass by the cafeteria where Dan should be coming exiting from lunch at that time, and again, he's not there.
So, at this point, I'm pretty sure Dan didn't come to school today because I haven't seen him once all day, which is highly unusual because even though we don't have any of the same classes, our paths intersect quite a lot throughout the day. Not to mention, he didn't even ride the bus home this afternoon.
Yet, when I got home, I ended up talking to my grandmom, and she said she didn't wake me up right away because at first she thought I didn't have school, but then she saw DAN MAKING HIS WAY TO THE BUS-STOP and... Well, it doesn't matter. The point is, Dan managed to go the entire school day without running into me once.
And, I know this is stupid and egotistical and crazy, but I can't help thinking that this means that he's been running into me ON PURPOSE and the only reason he didn't do it today was because he thought I wasn't there.
Yeah. Like I said: it's stupid. I know. I shouldn't even consider it, but...
*sigh* I just can't shake the feeling that it means something significant.
Maybe it's just denial. Maybe it's just that I want to believe he's had the option of not riding the bus home and taking alternate routes to his classes all along. Maybe it's just that I want to believe he chooses to see me every day instead.
Because I do. There's nothing more I want than for him to reciprocate with me on some level.

I love you all.
~Love, Belinda
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