Thursday, August 28, 2008

6u77
Mahhhhhhhhhh.... I'm bloody exhausted.
Had a pretty bad day. It was one of those days when you just can't do anything right and nobody lets you forget.
Also, I had a dream where Vashoutoh Malluste castrated That Guy and candy started flying out of the wound like That Guy was a pinata or something. ^^ It was pretty sweet. I ended up writing a less seemingly drug-induced version of it later for my story.
Yeah, for anyone who still cares (AKA Cassie,) the next few chapters of The Catalyst are probably gonna be pretty violent. It involves switch-blades and the mafia. (The hilarious part is, I'm dead serious.)
Oh. And I think I found my year-long lunch buddies yesterday. They're insane like me, so we're probably gonna have a lot of fun. Although, I must say: This guy named Ansi, who always sits next to me? He has GOT to stop staring at me. I mean, I know that sounds completely hypocritical coming from me, but seriously: It's fucking creepy.
And speaking of creepy, it seems like every time I glance back, in the bus,--I'm usually sitting in the front,--the entire back of the bus leans towards me and semi-gapes at me, completely fascinated, like I'm about to start breathing fire or something. I mean it. They are just, like, totally captivated by the act of me turning around in my seat and giving the back of the bus a quick optical once-over. It's actually pretty hysterical to watch.
Especially when you consider the fact that they're probably watching to see if I try to sneak a glance at That Guy (who ALWAYS sits at the back of the bus,) like I did so often last year.I guess they want to know if I still like him. Which is bloody hilarious, because there is at the very least thirty-something people on my bus, and at least three thousand people in my school, and yet they can all afford to be interested enough in my personal life to pause dramatically every time I glance in the direction of my ex-love to see if my gaze lingers on him at all. So either these people have no lives, they simply like to butt into other peoples, they love a good insomnia-curing love drama, or a combination of all 3.
Either way, though, it's pretty pathetic.XD

Anywaaaaaayz... I gotta go whore myself on myspace.
Au Revoir
Love, Belinda
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Monday, August 25, 2008

You're so last September
*reads last post* Wow...
Ya know what's really funny? The very next day after I posted that, I went the entire day without once even thinking of That Guy. Matter of fact, I barely even looked at him. I mean, it's like I jinxed it or something: Right as I write a long, scathing, over-flowing with angst journal entry stating I'll never be able to get over That Guy, I get over him. XD
Well... Can't say I'm disappointed
I've been begging God to set me free from that obsession for months. All of last year, actually.
The only problem is, now I have no muse.
Oh well.

Now, as for the first day of school...
It was pretty good. I know a lot of people in my classes from last year, so it turns out I won't have to deal with so many strangers after all.^^ YAYZ!
So, basically everything's going great right now. Perfectly, really.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, life's not going to stab me in the back THAT easily: I have learned time and time again that the second you let your guard down and allow yourself to believe that it's not gonna be such a bad year after all, catastrophe immediately ensues. It's inevitable.
In other words: I ain't gonna jinx it.

Oh, and Jenny?
Thanks SO much for the bracelet and letter you sent me. I love it. Just got it today.
Oh, and thanks for the drawing too. Seriously. It looks exactly like me. lol Love you too.

~Belinda

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Saturday, August 23, 2008

Mother Dearest found out I still like That Guy.
She rolled her eyes, gave me this really patronizing look, and said: "WHY do you care?"

Well, good bloody question. That's exactly what I'd like to know.

All I wanted to say to her was: Look, I have no idea why I still care, okay? I just do.

And I know this sounds impossibly childish, but it is NOT my fault. I just can't help but be obsessed with That Guy. Not only is he oh-so-hideously gorgeous, but he is everything I've ever wanted and can never be. I know he's not perfect, I know he's just a kid, but... I can't help but care. I just can't. And, yeah, okay, maybe this is just some shallow, meaningless, high school crush. That doesn't change anything. Just because it's shallow in essence doesn't mean I can't feel it down to the smallest core cells of my bones. It doesn't have to be a deep feeling to be felt this deeply.

But, my mother, my dad, my family, my friends--everyone else around me--just doesn't get that. Honestly, I'm not even so sure I get it. All I know is, That Guy is the seizure in my step and the eye-candy I'm not allowed to taste. And I can't change that. No matter what I tell myself, no matter what anybody tells me, I can't change that.
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Friday, August 22, 2008

   I love Whitemarsh
OH. EM. GEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZNESSSSSSSS!!!!!

I had the BEST time at the mall tonight. You don't even know. *Insert dreamy sigh here* Good ol' drunk musicians.
Seriously. While we were there, some adorable 17-year-old guy came up to us and pretended to be giving some sort of national survey all over the malls of America. XD

Him: So, ladies, before we get started with this survey, how old are you?
Me: 15.
Margret: 16.
Ashlee: 16.
Jackie: 16.
Him: Excellent! So you're not 14, so we can continue. Now... *turns to me* Ma'am, what do you look for in a guy?
Me: 0//0... *bursts out laughing* Um... Well... He has to be cute, of course.
Him: Do you think I'M cute?? ^^
Him's Friend: Naw, man, you're not cute, you're sexy!
Me: Uhhh, yeah, what he said! XD
Him: *turns to Margret* What do YOU look for in a guy?
Margret: Personality.
Him: Personality. What kind?
Margret: Like, he has to be nice and, like, not demanding.
Him:Not demanding? Oh, then a musician would be perfect for you! Because we demand more, er, I mean, uh... *is extremely tongue-tied for about 10 seconds*

And it just sort of kept going like that for about 15 minutes. Twas hilarious. I have to admit: I was impressed. That was the very first cute guy who actually went right up to me and broke into a conversation. Not to mention, despite the fact that the guy was drunk, he was actually really nice. And cute. And, on top of all this, he has a sexy name: Zach Morgan.
Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go check out his myspace. :DDDDD
Love, Belinda
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Thursday, August 21, 2008

ANXIEEEEEEEETYYYYYYYY!
Barely two more days til D-Day...
It's so scary. Everything about last year seems to have disappeared to me. I can't even greet my old teachers when I see them out in public now without feeling like I'm just randomly talking to a complete stranger.
I have a feeling my best friend there, Aquia, is gone too. She said she might be moving to DC over the Summer, so it's not really a surprise, but still.
And Natalie's a senior this year, so I'll probably hardly ever get to see her. Oh well. At least I still got Megan (I think.)
Anyway, if anybody's curious, here's what my schedule is for this year:

Art
Homeroom
Spanish
Biology
Lunch (More like "brunch.")
Study skills/resource
Algebraic functions
Honers English 10
World History

Annnnnnnnnnnd, I've already checked all my checkable friends schedules: Not one of them has any of the same classes as me.
Translation:I'M ALLLLLLLLL ALLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNEEEEE IN THE WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
;~;
*sniffle, sniffle*

Man, Cassie, Jenny was right: We all really should go to the same school. Unfortunately, not only do you live far away, but you've also already graduated, so... There goes that plan. *sigh*
Ready or not, here it comes, I guess.

Love, Belinda
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

JDIASUFHAISLFU!!!!!
*HUGE EXALTATION*
I'm exhausted. And hot. And I really, really, really wanna write, but all I've got installed on here is wordpad, and that thing just drives me insane. The dimensions on it are all screwed up. Grrrrrrrrr...
Ever have one of those days were you're just so fed up with everything and you just don't want to think anymore? Well, that's exactly what I'm having.
Honestly, I'm so desperate to escape, I could beat myself into unconsciousness and feel perfectly regretless about it.
I'm about to fucking explode.
DAH!GFUIAERIABUWIOBUGR7GFHKLAHEPU[SW90U[QQ39T40AJIFKAHFIUHIFAHP
I WANNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HJYYMHJYU....
In conclusion, there are only about 2 words that sum up how I feel right now: Damn it.
~Belinda
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Monday, August 18, 2008

   Damn virus
Arrrrrgh. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

Our computer crashed. So we had to restart it for, like, the 50th time in the past 20 months. Meaning, we lost all our data, including all my chapters of The Catalyst, so Cassie, I need you to send me that last chapter I sent you yesterday. Thanks.

Not to mention, I lost all my down-loaded music as well.''''-__- Oy... I had, like, 5 albums worth of stuff on here!

But, anyway, on to responses to comments, or COMMENT, to be more accurate, considering Cassie's the only one who comments me anymore. (Well, besides the occasional visit from Jenny, but that's still pretty pathetic, considering I've got at least 30 people on my friends list on here.)

Jenny: Wow... Darling, you do now and always will absolutely beat the living angst-demons out of me when it comes to who's the more emo between us. I do agree with the whole useless education thing though. I mean, when, throughout the course of my entire life, will I have to dissect a frog and know by heart the square root of 5412894792? I'M GOING TO BE A NOVELIST, FOR RYRO'S SAKE!!! That kinda shit just ain't necessary. And for that matter, neither is half the crap they teach you in English class about how whoever invented double negatives should be brought back to life, taken out into the street, shot, brought back to life again, and run over by a truck, just for good measure. I mean, it's not like anybody in the US has decent grammar now anyway, so what's the point?

Cassie: Errr, no. Not even close, actually. In reality, all I did was contact one of friends in the hopes of persuading him to my humble cause and thus implanting another spy into my dear Dannyko's life. But it didn't go down that way. Now, there's a chance said friend will mention our chance encounter to my darling Sex Muffin and I will once again be labeled as a pathetic, obsessed, desperate freak, for all eternity. And, besides, honestly, do you really think he would even acknowledge my friend request even if I could summon the nerve to send him one?


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Sunday, August 17, 2008

lawlz, zomiesssssss...
Hey, guys.
I'm tired. And semi-brainless. Listening to My Chemical Romance right now. 3 Cheers for Sweet Revenge. ^^ Fun, fun.
Anyway...
I did something really stupid this morning involving Myspace and That Guy that's probably gonna screw up everything. Oy....
Here's to another whole year of being known throughout the bus community as Dan Bennett's creepy, basket-case, pathetic, dignityless, desperate stalker.
Cheers.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008

lalalala...
Not much going on. I finished a particularly boring chapter of my story and now I get to write an account of the fabulously oh-so-boisterous Vashoutoh Malluste's major melt-down. Fun, fun, fun.^^ God knows I am absolutely in love with writing about these angsty, maniacal, little masochists. It's a bit like writing an extremely trippy diary entry, actually. XD
I mean, not to say I'm really all that similar to Vash, but when I get to unleash the little diva's wrath on his imaginary world, I get to let off a lot steam. Not to mention, all the ungodly scandals I get to create and indulge in. Honestly, I'm afraid I've become somewhat of a drama whore.
But, hey. I'm 15. What else could the world possibly expect?
Besides, all drama and scandalous scenarios aside, Vash always had a certain charm about him. Well, not really Vash in particular, but that whole genre of insane, masochistic, sadistic, corrupted, master-of-manipulation villain. I could never help but be fascinated by them. They're just so damn addictive. I mean, I don't know if those of you who know about Vash ever felt the same way, but for me, I don't know, I just can't stop going over his and Dashi's story-line as of late. *shrug*
Anyway, y'all are probably super bored by now, so I'm gonna be nice and shut up now.

Thanks for reading. ILY!
Always.~Shadowme.
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

   epic
I have the worst case of writers block this week. Seriously! I can't think of ANYTHING to write! It's killing me.
Anyway.... Here are some videos.

Gravitation+Sesame Street= epic awesomeness.

Wow.... My life is now complete. XDDDDD
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