Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Who Is Your Gravitation Mystery Date?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right. EXPLOSIVES!!! HUZZAH!!!! Let's go rob a bank, guys.XD
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, February 18, 2008

Okay.
Good news: Katie's awesome-tastic best friend and neighbor Hayley, who incidentally happens to be That Bitch's step-sister, took a picture of him for me.
Bad news: we couldn't get the picture from Hayley's computer to the computer.'^^ Sorry. Oh well. At least when she gets the picture printed, I'll have something to stare at for hours on end. Oh, and I'm feeling rather BiTcHeHhH today, do instead of writing an actual journal entry, I just decided to make a list.
Hot: = Not
1.That Bitch = 1. That Thing
2.Gift cards = 2. Credit cards
3.Bathrooms = 3. Spa's.
4.Shrugs = 4. Snarls
5. Sweat shirts = 5. Sweating it.
6.Hot Topic = 6. Hot shit
7.Bun inspections = 7. Weekly performance
reviews.
8. Soiling it. = 8. Making it stop.
9. Krabs = 9. Crabs
10. Lubbers = 10. Lovers
11. Remembering = 11. Remembering therapy with
you all in therapy. you all.
12. Mindless Self = 12. Mindless Danny Indulgence.
Indulgence.

Annnnnnnnnd that's it. Happy Presidents Day.
Oh, and sorry if I don't get to everyone's site. V.V
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, February 15, 2008

Well..... I gave up all my favorite emo songs for Lent, so now I gotta find a bunch of non-emo songs to distract me. So let the listing of random music videos begin!


Ummmm.... I dunno.



XD Genius.

Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, February 11, 2008

Yes. That's right, bitches. My theme ISh Luvlesssss nooow.^^ Ritsuka is bloody adorable.
Anyway. The name of HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED is officially stalking/haunting me now. (No, not Lord Veldemort. '-__-) Seriously. There are way too many Danny's in the world. I can't go a single day without hearing the name. Oy...



Scarred for life yet?.... No? Okay then.

It would be funny if it wasn't true.'-_-

Oh, yes, let's.^.^

Uhh... I dunno.

And in case you can't read that, it says:
"Sure, there's EMO, but then there's scene. The difference between the 2, though is...(next panel) Scene makes OTHER PEOPLE want to kill themselves."





"... And chicks dig that kind of thing anyway!" XD

Well... I'm gonna go whore youtube now. Konbawazzzzz~Shadowmeh
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, February 7, 2008

GAY IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR "DANNY IS A DOUCHEBAG"
Hey.
Lost a bet toady. Ye see, in gym class, me and my friend Aquia were walking around the gym. And we've got class as the same time as the guys, so some dude Aquia likes was there, playing Basket Ball with his mates. And she, out of nowhere, starts rambling about said guy and how infuriating it is that she can never think of what to say to him. This, of course, leads to me confiding in her about my similar situation with That Bitch. The end result is this: we make a bet that if she can talk to HER guy, I'll talk to mine. The only reason I agreed to this was because I figured she'd chicken out. But she didn't.
Right as class was over, she went up and said something to her crush. Needless to say, I was ecstatic for her.
Or at least I would've been if it wouldn't have meant that I now had to actually-GASP!-say something to Danny.AS IN, ACTUALLY FORM COHERENT SENTENCES!!!! DUDE, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE-CONTACT WITH HIM MOST OF THE TIME!!!!! ''-__- (INSERT HEAT-STROKE-INDUCING AMOUNT OF BLUSHING HERE)
*deep breath*
So anyway.
Right after gym is my lunch period. And guess who's in my lunch period: Danny. Fucking. Bennett(A.K.A. That Bitch)
Ohhhhhhhh, dearrrrrrrrrr Lord. Words truly cannot express how nervous I was. I swear. It's a good thing my stomach was empty at the beginning of the meal, because I honestly would've puked all over the cafeteria. (How I managed to not do so AFTERWARDS was a complete miracle as well.) However, time took no mercy on my pitifully anxious state, and eventually the moment arrived when I ran in to Danny in the hall-way outside the cafeteria. Because, you know, he finishes his lunch early and he always goes out in the hall-way to hang with his little group of friends before the bell rings. So, as usual, I stared at him.
And stared.
And stared.
And stared.
Only this time, I was scarlet and shaking with the anticipation of what I had to do.
Or, to be more accurate, what I SHOULD have done but didn't.
I know, I know, "Belinda, stop being such a pussy! He's JUST a guy!" But he was just too fucking hot! I couldn't breath! The closest I ever got to actually "saying" anything to him was, when I saw him talking to his friends, sort of muttering a semi-audible "Hey, Dan." Which he obviously didn't hear.
And even though technically that could pass as "talking" to him, because Aquia never said he actually had to hear me, it just wouldn't be fair.
So I think I'm going to try again tomorrow at the morning bus-stop. Yeah... Wish me luck, guys. Pray for a miracle. I'm gonna need one.
Love,Shadowme

P.S. NO, SERIOUSLY, PRAY FOR ME. I MIGHT DIE OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION IF YOU DON'T.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

THE CATALYST, CHAPT 17: BLACK AND WHITE AND MALICE AND LUST
SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: GOOD-BYE, CORI-LA. I LOVE YOU

It had been 10 minutes since Beli-wa had typed and sent that last IM. It had been 9 and a half since she had logged off and left nothing else of hers but an automatic away-message to haunt the screen.

nOw AnD fOrEvEr WiShInG yOu CaReD & WiShInG i DiDn’T~ SINCERELY_SARCASTIC

Yeah, classic emo unrequited love heart-breaker. That was Belinda’s specialty. Heart-achingly sweet poems about random sexy pretty-boy jackasses that would never love her back. Depressing, yet beautiful. Frivolous, yet profound. Deeply superficial and superficially deep.
Usually Corinth Hiwatarski would just roll her eyes at her friends pessimism and jokingly chide her for being so damn cynical. But this time the little excerpt of melo-drama seemed to fit the mood.
Cori sighed and pushed the locks of neon green-ish blue hair out of her weary, caramel-colored eyes. “Damn it,” she muttered for the millionth time, massaging her aching temples. “It wasn’t supposed to ---ing happen like this.” And, indeed, it wasn’t.
But it had. Belinda was officially permanently lost to Cori. And it sucked. Oh, God, did it suck. Belinda had been so much fun, so easy to talk to, such a good listener and friend. And despite what Cori had just typed 15 minutes earlier, she really hadn’t minded Belinda’s fragile, confidence-lacking nature all that much. It had made Cori feel stronger in comparison. And not only that, but whenever Belinda had broken down and had been mere nano-steps from utter despair, it had given Cori a reason to not do the same. A reason to carry on. A reason to put on a brave face and be an example of perseverance for Belinda and anyone else who was watching. And somehow through the process of faking it so many times for Belinda’s sake, Cori felt she had actually become stronger. More reliable. More mature. In a way, she no longer had to pretend to be brave. Because now she already was. And she had Belinda to thank for it.
Being her adopted older sister had made Cori a better person. But what had really surprised Corinth about this, was she actually ENJOYED being a better person, too. Being Belinda’s friend and make-shift therapist wasn’t much, but it made her feel like she mattered. Like she had a purpose. Like she had made some progress from her former life as a narcissistic, detention-earning, trash-talking, cigarette-smoking, miserable “disgrace to the Hiwatarski name.”
She NEVER wanted to go back to that life. That life, where everything was so hypocritical and fascist and empty, and nothing made sense.
Belinda or no Belinda, no way in hell would she ever return to that. Not willingly, not automatically. She could deal. It was her sincerely sarcastic adopted little sister who really needed to be worried about. Her insecure, over-easily penetrated, inferiority complex-holding, adopted little sister. Because, let’s face it: despite her being able to ACT mature and brave and calm and laid-back, she didn’t do so well on her own. She was too sensitive. She couldn’t just shrug a minor conflict off her shoulders and move on like everyone else. Oh, sure, for the 1st 5 minutes after the ordeal happened, she‘d be fine. She could try to shake it off, or, at least pretend to. But then she would start to look at it in retrospect. She would consider it. And then, slowly but surely, like the incessant dripping from a ceiling during a huge rain-storm right before the whole roof caves in, the full effect of the blow would start to seep in. Then, before anyone could be able to do anything about it, the impact of the adversity would come completely crashing down upon her and she would just implode into an emotional mess of hysteria and desperation. Belinda could never really prevent the penetration, she could only delay it. Cori had seen it countless times before. So needless to say, she couldn’t help but be a bit concerned about what Belinda would do now that she wouldn’t be there to help the little emo recover.
Still, there really wasn’t anything she could do about it. Cori had already made her decision. Already made it and already acted upon it.
It was too late to go back.
So, with one final sigh, she logged off the lab-top and headed toward the kitchen. Breaking up with one’s best friend and obliterating every single chance of reconciling with them builds up an appetite.

As she stepped unto the gray-ish linoleum floor of the dining room directly adjacent to the kitchen, despite her sullen mood, she couldn’t help but admire the view from the window of the condo. It was beautiful. The neon city lights, the millions of cars rushing across the various roads and avenues, the multitude of hot-spots and tourist-magnets--it was all just so urban, so glamorous. So Las Vegas.
“It’s weird,” interrupted a smooth, cold voice, some distance behind Cori. “From here, it just looks like a bunch pretty lights. You can barely even tell that it’s nothing but a bunch of pathetic, greedy sons of bitches just blindly going from strip club to strip club, bar to bar. Casino to casino. Aimlessly looking for the next big rush of sin and pleasure. Like locusts.”
At this, Cori whipped around to see a shadowy out-line of a familiar figure slumped leisurely into a chair, at the table. Dashimay Malluste.
“Oh, Dashi…!” She breathed a sigh of half relief, half intimidation. “You scared me.” But then again, he always scared her.
Dashimay shrugged and reached for another chip out of the bowl on the table. “Story of my life, kid,” he said, before popping the chip into his mouth. While he ate the remainder of his snack, Cori couldn’t help staring at him. Despite the fact he and Vashoutoh were twins, there really couldn’t be a more obvious contrast between 2 brothers. Just how obvious?
Well, for starters, Vashoutoh’s skin was angelically fair and flawlessly smooth. Dashimay’s was dusky and rough.
Vashoutoh’s body was short and slender with the sexy, haughty hips, long, seductive torso, and tiny waist that your mother would kill for. Dashi’s was tall, athletic and strong and probably only 1 more six-pack away from being the epitome of masculinity.
Vash’s face was androgynous, willowy, and usually decanted in the best eye-shadow, eye-liner, mascara, and lip gloss that money could buy and fame could endorse. Dashi’s was square-jawed, defined, and he only ever allowed eye-liner to be applied anywhere near it when the band had to appear on TV or some other formal event.
Vash’s hair was dyed every single shade of blonde in existence and tirelessly styled/gelled/cropped/tussled to perfection. Dashi’s was dyed jet-black and, if not for Vash’s incessant nagging for him to grow it out, it would still be so short that it’d be inches away from being a buzz-cut.
And last, but not least significant, Vashou’s body was covered in white, artistic evidence of self-mutilation that were barely noticeable against his angelically pristine complexion.
Dashi’s skin was covered in various black tattoos of fore-boding symbols and exotic writing.
And for those of you who have no appreciation for detailed descriptions and just skipped right over the entire bit about Vashou and Dashi’s appearance, put it this way: Dashi was the ideal spokes model for Abercrombie & Fitch. Vashou was the ideal model for Revlon. Got it? Good.
“Cori, am I an inclined plane that you climb to get up-stairs?” Dashi asked after about 5 minutes of being gawked at.
“Er… No.”
“Then why are you staring at me?”
“Oh… Sorry,” she smiled apologetically, with a shallow chuckle at his stupid word-pun. There was something very unsettling about Dashi. Cori didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. It was a pity she didn’t trust him as far as HE could throw HER. Because that was pretty far.
“If you’re looking for Vash, he’s out somewhere with Eli,” informed the dark twin, as he got up from the chair to take his now-empty bowl to the dish-washer. Eli was the band’s drummer. He was about as masculine as Dashi and as attention-attracting as Vashou. He reminded Cori a little bit of her juvenile 45-year-old uncle.
“Oh… Um, thanks, Dashi,” Cori stammered, suddenly not as hungry as she had been 5 minutes ago. The dark twins discomfort-inducing prescience had spoiled her appetite. Still shivering a bit from the coldness Dashi seemed to radiate, she began to stroll towards the TV. After her cyber fight with guess-which-sincerely-sarcastic-poet, she probably wouldn’t be logging on to the inter-web for quite some time. So she might as well kill time with the remote and the cable.
“Oh, and kid,” Dashi addressed her, as he paused by the door.
For some stupid reason, when she answered, Cori felt the need to look back into his dull dark brown gaze that she was usually so desperate to avoid. “Yes?”
“I don’t judge you by your name,” he said, opening the door to the kitchen, but still keeping his hallow gaze fixed upon her. “You shouldn’t judge me by mine.” And with that, he exited the scene. Again, Cori was left to shiver. The air suddenly felt heavier. The atmosphere, suddenly ominous. She felt a little bit like the under-cover heroine in a spy/thriller flick right after she’s been discovered by the impossibly suave evil henchman and is left to ponder whether she’s safe or if the fiend will rat her out to his ungodly powerful superiors.
“Dashimay Malluste,” she murmured. “Mal. luste. Malice and lust.”

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Before and after

What eye are you (Beautiful Pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Crying Eye You are the crying eye. You are very sad and look on the negative side of things. Crying seems to be a natural state. Crying Eye 60% Angry Eye 50% Sexy Eye 40% Dramatic Eye 40% Hurt Eye 40% Starry Eye 20%

I give up. No one seems to care, so I'm just going to keep posting.
Huh. Last time I took that quiz, I scored as "Hurt Eye." Of course, that was 5 years ago, so... *shrug*

Who Means the Most to You

FriendsYou love your friends the most. Friends are made, not found, is your motto! You have many friends who surround you with love, and that you can share feelings with. You open up your heart to anyone who wants to see it, and you like plenty of fun! You soak in the diversity of people and get along well with others. Friends mean the most to you.IF YOU LIKED THIS QUIZ, PLEEASE RATE, MESSAGE, AND TAKE MY OTHER QUIZES THANK YOU!!!
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Which artist represents your soul? Which song your spirit sings?

Linkin Park is your match. Understanding yet misunderstood, Misplaced, Helpless, Lost.Your spirit's song is Easier To Run
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Who exactly ARE you? (AnImE PiCs)

The "Butterfly"
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

What's your horror movie identity? (Anime pics)

You are the hero! (Or heroine.) You're bold, firey, independant. You view life differently than most people, thus making you a visionary. You'd risk your life for the ones you love and you're the "only one who can save us all!"You have a 70% chance of survival. Good luck!
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Last time I took this, it said I was the villainess who no one suspected.XD I did, but I took down, like, 60% of everybody else with me. Oh, fun, fun, fun!
~Shadowme
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, January 31, 2008

I'm on strike. Until I get more than one comment, I ain't posting no more.
Good day.
-Shadow the me
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Replies to comments:
Oh, wait... That's right, I didn't have any comments.'''-_____-

Ahhhhhhh... I am so damn pissed. I spend God knows how many months working on the story and then nobody (except Cassie) fucking reads it! Oy...
In other news...
Danny: still doesn't love me. (Yeah, big fucking surprise.)
Jordan: is still an annoying bitch.
Sebas/Sebby: would still be a way better person to obsess over if I wasn't such a shallow whore who only likes guys with bangs longer than mine.
I: am still in love with the eye-candy I'm not allowed to taste.
Aquia(my bestest friend): is still M.I.A.
And, finally, the world: still sucks ass.
Yeah. "I must be emooooooooo..."


Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, January 28, 2008

THE CATALYST, CHAPT 16: OPPORTUNITY COST
Houston, we got mail. Send out the welcome wagon. Or better yet, a lit stick of dynamite. The traitor has landed.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: HEY, WASSUP? WE NEED 2 TALK.

I shivered. When I asked about Cori on the night Gray and Watkins had questioned me, they said there weren’t any bodies found that matched my description. Meaning, Cori was still alive. But the following day her mom called. Apparently she hadn‘t come home that night or the rest of the day. Her parents were searching like mad for her all over, but nobody seemed to know where she was. There wasn’t a trace of her. Even her douche-bag of a step-brother was starting to worry.
I was about to reply "WHERE R U?" when I remembered what she had done 2 days ago, on Monday. My eyes narrowed angrily. This traitor didn't deserve my concern. I was nearly killed because of her. But before I could click the "exit" button on the IM window, another "ding" rang out from the speakers, this time much more pleading.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: LOOK, I’M RLLY SRRY ABOUT MONDAY, BUT I DIDN’T NO DEY WUR GOING 2 JACK U UP DAT BADLY.THOUGHT DEY ONLY WANTED 2 TALK 2 U.

My stomach started to curdle. That was absolute bull. There was no way Cori would’ve believed that a gang of possible terrorists would infiltrate and stake out an entire high-school for hours just to meet me. She must’ve known there was something up.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: B-SIDES, IF I DIDN’T LET DEM TAKE U, DEY WOULD’VE KILLED ME! I HAD NO CHOICE!

Hmmm… Better, but not good enough. Sorry, honey, you’re going to have to do better than that. Besides if she was really so desperate for atonement, she wouldn’t have waited an entire day and a half to apologize. Even if the Reapers had kidnapped her and kept her from communicating at all, she would’ve found a way if she wanted to. Hell, she might even have managed to escape and would probably be on her way back home by now. But she choose not to make up for it. She choose to stay. She choose not to regret it. Because it was probably her choice to leave in the first place. Matter of fact, I had probably been her ticket out. The next “ping” only confirmed this theory.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: OK, FINE, DON’T REPLY BUT I ONLY DID IT CUZ IT WAS PART OF THE DEAL. DEY WUR OFFERING 2 MAKE ALL MY DREAMS COME TRU. U NO WUT IT’S LYK 2 HAV DREAMS… U CAN’T TELL ME U WOULDN’T SELL ME OUT 2 IF SOME1 COULD GIV U EVERYTHING U EVA WANTED

At this, my fingers slammed down onto the keys with almost as much force as that last statement sliced straight into my core.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: THAT’S NOT TRUE. I WOULD FIND ANOTHER WAY. I’D NEVER STAB U IN THE BACK JUST BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID BRIBE.

VASHOUDASHI_YANK220: PSH! YEA, RIGHT. U NO U’D SELL ME OUT IN A HEART BEAT IF ANY1 OFFERED 2 MAKE MY STEP-BRO LIKE U FOR THE PRICE OF MY LIFE. DON’T LIE.

Hey, Mr. Director, could we get an instant reply of that, please?
“…IF ANY1 OFFERED 2 MAKE MY STEP-BRO LIKE U…”
Oh, snap!
She had broken the golden rule. She knew perfectly well that never, under any circumstances, was she EVER to bring up That Guy. (A.K.A. Her step-brother)
My eyes seared. My cheeks flared. That was it. She had crossed the line.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: HELL NO!! >:P U KNOW I’M OVER HIM. HE’S SO 3 YEARS AGO.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: BULLSHIT. I’VE SEEN THE WAY U LOOK AT HIM. DON’T DENY IT, U STILL LUV HIM. DAT’S THE ONLY REASON U STARTED HANGING WIT ME IN THE 1ST PLACE, RIGHT? CUZ DANNYKO WAS MY STEP-BROTHER.

CRACK. Another assault on my core. My eyes were now burning so intensely my vision was starting to blur. I was so damn pissed.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: NOT TRUE!! I BEFRIENDED U BECAUSE I FELT SORRY FOR U!!! EVERYBODY HATED U AND U HAD NOBODY BUT YOUR CRAZY-ASS STONER FRIENDS. IT WAS ---ING PATHETIC.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: YEAH, WELL, IF I WAS SO PATHETIC, THEN HOW CUM U WUR ALWAYS THE 1 BITCHING ALL THE TIME LYK A LI‘L 4-YEAR-OLD? “*SOB* CORI, MS. GRAYBEAL IS BEING MEAN 2 ME!!;~;” “CORI, KEELEY LOOKED AT ME WEIRD!!!” “CORI, MS. BENDER GAVE BE A B IN ALGEBRA WHEN I SHOULDA GOT AN A!!!” “*SOB* CORI, DANNYKO DOESN’T LOVE ME!!!” WELL, BOO FUCKING HOO

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: AT LEAST I DIDN’T PRACTICALLY EAT MYSELF INTO A HEART ATTACK EVERY TIME THE STUPIDEST LIL THING WENT WRONG LIKE A DAMN HUMAN VACCUUM, U FATASS

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: RIGHT, CUZ U WUR TOO BUSY VENTING THRU EMO POETRY. “ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE, DANNY WASN’T AT SCHOOL TODAY SO I THINK I’LL BREAK INTO HIS HOUSE AND STEAL HIS SHUES.” XP

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: AT LEAST I CAN SPELL SHOES, RETARD. ‘-__-

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: OH, SAVE IT FOR UR THERUPIST. U NO WUT, I’M GLAD I TURNED U OVER TO VASH. A WHINY LIL BITCH LYK U NEEDED A GOOD KICK IN THE PANTS. B-SIDES, UR SO FULL OF IT. THE ONLY REASON U EVA BOTHERED WIT ME IN THE 1ST PLACE WAS 2 GET 2 DANNY.

Actually, this was only half true. When I had befriended Cori, I had legitimately given up on Dannyko/That Guy. But for some reason, I was still drawn to his older step-sister. I suppose deep down I figured since I couldn’t have That Guy, I might as well have his sister. I never really expected anything to come out of it. Cori was simply the closest I could get. At first, she was just a consolation prize. But how was I supposed to know I would come to like Cori so much? How was I supposed to know I would get so attached? And how the hell was I supposed to know she would be so damn cool? But I couldn’t tell her that now. I was just too angry, too insecure. Too stupid.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: WELL, IF I’M SUCH A HEARTLESS USER, THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU BEFRIEND ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Pause, pause, pause. Dot, dot, dot. An eternity of ellipsis’s. Then, 50 years later, a ping.

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: B-CUZ U WUR PRETTY.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: ??? 0_o

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: NO. B-CUZ U WUR PRETTY N SKINNY N CUTE, N EVERYTHING I WASN’T/WANTED 2 BE. U WUR THE CLOSEST I COULD GET TO ACHIEVING MY DREAMS. SORRY, BELI-WA. U WUR JUST A CONSOLATION PRIZE IN A GAME I COULD NEVER WIN.

Oh, Gawd…. Everything made sense now. The constant spewing of compliments about my lean figure, the pressuring me to join every club she was in, the always borrowing of my clothes no matter how badly they fit her… She hadn’t been trying to help me live my life, she had been trying to live HER life through ME. She had just been trying to get over her own insecurities about her weight. She never cared about me. I was speechless.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: OH MY GOD…

VASHOUDASHI_YANKI220: YEAH. I USED U JUST AS MUCH AS U USED ME. I GUESS THAT MAKES US EVEN.

This was the final blow.
I knew now by the lump in my throat and the tears streaming down my face that this was the end. The dawning of a new era. A cold, gray, sunless new era. An era without Cori. My love. My body-guard. My secretary of defense against boredom. My image consultant. My adviser. My stability. My best friend. My soul mate. All gone. “Good bye,” I choked out in a soft, frail voice that didn’t belong to me. This was so, so beyond miserable. I poised my mouse over the exit button of the IM window in preparation for my exit, before typing one final message.

SINCERELY_SARCASTIC: GOOD BYE, CORI-LA. I LOVE U.

Click. The window disappeared from my screen and left me with nothing but the “drip, drip, drip” of my tears and the cold, sour, sick feeling in my stomach. I logged off the computer and shut it down before any other IM’s could ping up. Then, I reached for a pad and a pencil. I needed to vent.

OPPORTUNITY COST IS OPPORTUNITY LOST by B.R. Sacko

MY EYES ARE RED,
MY TEARS ARE SEE-THROUGH,
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU?
I TOOK MY CHANCES, YOU TOOK YOUR SHOT;
AND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR DISAPPEARANCE TELLS ME YOU HIT YOUR MARK.
AND EVEN THOUGH I’M OUT OF BULLETS, I’M STILL STUCK MISSING YOU.
WE ALL HEARD OPPORTUNITY KNOCK, BUT YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO TOOK THE SHOT.
(WHICH REMINDS ME, HAVE YOU GONE DEAF FROM ALL THE GUN-FIRE YET?)
WELL, YOU SOLD OUT AND I BOUGHT IT.
BUT WHENEVER THE TEARS STARTED TO SEAR, YOU WERE ALWAYS THE FIRST TO HEAR.
“TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE”?
YEAH, BUT IT FEELS TOO DAMN EARLY TO LET THIS DIE.
BUT YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE AND I MADE MY POINT AND IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THE SWEET LIES DIED AND LEFT US WITH NOTHING BUT THIS GRAVE-STONE OF THE TRUTH.
SO, R.I.P., “HERE LIES ANOTHER SET OF LYRICAL LIES. OVER-ROMANTICIZED AND SHOT BACK DOWN TO EARTH BY AN OVER-ORGANIZED HOMICIDE.”
THEY SAID “THINK BIG.”
BUT IS THIS LITTLE TOWN NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?
BECAUSE THIS PAPER IS WAY TOO SMALL TO SPILL ALL MY GUTS TO.

“There is no such thing as love without pain.”-Mark Hart

“And you shudder at the thought, you’re everything I want. Because you’re everything I’m not.”-Taking Back Sunday, “Make Damn Sure”

"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the cleverness of the clever I will set aside."-First Letter of Paul to Corinthians

“Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature, [who consider themselves clever enough to contradict us.] But it is a wisdom, however, not of this age, [not of this culture,] not of the current rulers who are gradually dying [and the influence of whom is waning.] We speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, [the meaning hidden in a puzzle worth solving,] the concealed wisdom which God has predestined before the ages to our glory. The wisdom which none of the rulers of this era understood; for if they had, Christ would not have been crucified by them. But just as it is written: ‘Things which eyes have not seen and ears have not heard, and which have not entered the hearts of humanity. This is what God has prepared for those who love Him.’”- Second Letter of Paul to Corinthians

Comments (1) | Permalink