myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Mother Dearest found out I still like That Guy.
She rolled her eyes, gave me this really patronizing look, and said: "WHY do you care?"

Well, good bloody question. That's exactly what I'd like to know.

All I wanted to say to her was: Look, I have no idea why I still care, okay? I just do.

And I know this sounds impossibly childish, but it is NOT my fault. I just can't help but be obsessed with That Guy. Not only is he oh-so-hideously gorgeous, but he is everything I've ever wanted and can never be. I know he's not perfect, I know he's just a kid, but... I can't help but care. I just can't. And, yeah, okay, maybe this is just some shallow, meaningless, high school crush. That doesn't change anything. Just because it's shallow in essence doesn't mean I can't feel it down to the smallest core cells of my bones. It doesn't have to be a deep feeling to be felt this deeply.

But, my mother, my dad, my family, my friends--everyone else around me--just doesn't get that. Honestly, I'm not even so sure I get it. All I know is, That Guy is the seizure in my step and the eye-candy I'm not allowed to taste. And I can't change that. No matter what I tell myself, no matter what anybody tells me, I can't change that.
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