myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Friday, October 2, 2009

>_>
So. I'm doing a little bit better today. Not much, but a little bit.
I'm in the library at school right now. My initial intention was to find more sources for my History Day project, but then I rememberedwe were going to have 4 more days in the library and overall I just didn't really care enough to summon the energy necessary to start looking.
It's been a real fucked up week and I seriously doubt it's gonna get any easier.
I'm probably going to die over the weekend. Of boredom or of lover seperation anxiety, I can't really say, but in any case... Shoot me. Please.

iklgklamrdkreosjmroesleo593895js9edkjARGSKJGAOIJFAK!!!

Yup. That about sums it up right there.

I can't decide whether it's going to be a really traumatic year or just a deathly boring one. This is the first year I don't have anyone to obsess over.
I can't go back to stalking Dan because I swore to myself under pain of death that I wouldn't.
I can't go back to HIM even if he wanted me to because no matter how much I miss him, I just can't bring myself to put myself through this kind of hell twice.
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
I can't spend the year killing myself over myself. That's just plain boring. I need a new cause. Well, no,"cause" is too noble a word. It's more like a drug. A human drug.
I'm not quite ready for another boyfriend and honest to God, if anyone even asks, I think I might just walk into oncoming traffic.
But I need a distraction. Something besides school, I mean. Something fun. Something to sustain my sanity. Something that doesn't just get me out of bed in the morning,but makes me GLAD to get out of bed in the morning.
Basically, I'm tired of just existing. I want to live. I want to enjoy. I want to grow. I want to thrive. I want to have a purpose.

The ironical thing is, the only reason I'm still typing this is to kill time. XD
Well, that and the fact that I'm bored out of my mind.
School is over is about 9 minutes. I have to stay after to work on a Spanish paper though. Ay, ayudeme, Dio! '-__-

Yo tengo hambre. Mucho hambre.

Well, you guys can talk to me any time over the weekend. Chances are, this is where I'll be spending about 75% of my time now.
See ya
~Belinda

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