myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Friday, April 15, 2011

SO...
What happened with me and Margaret was I saw her on Wednesday and she mostly ignored me, but every now and again I caught a snippet of conversation about her little brother or about her friends, who I also consider myself friends with, and I realized how much I missed being her confidantem, her ride or die, her partner in crime.
I couldn't say anything right then though because quite frankly I just didn't have the guts to do it in person so I sent her a text on the way home that said "I miss you."
She responded with "Oh really? Well, you sure have an interesting way of showing it."
And I apologized, repeating again that I missed confiding in her and having her confide in me and she basically blew up,
went into a whole giant fit of "Well, you never should have told me to screw off!"--which I didn't, by the way. I merely said we needed distance because I was getting tired of all the fighting about Josh--"I was just leaving you alone like you asked!"

And I apologized AGAIN, saying I'd done that because I thought her intentions in harassing me about Josh were to ruin our relationship so she could have me all to herself like it's been for the past year--which she seems to prefer.

"That's a very low-minded way of thinking of me. You should know by now I'm not self-centered. And I was only saying that you could do better."

I said I thought she could do better too, because at honestly she's an amazing girl and deserves somebody every bit as amazing as her and her boyfriend, although epic, is not.

"DON'T. YOU. DARE compare my boyfriend to yours. Mine has a job and straight A's, yours is unemployed and failed his classes and is a critical, mean bastard."

First of all, there are a lot of people who have jobs and straight A's and are complete psychotic losers, so those little labels she's so proud of don't mean a damn thing.
Second of all, I NEVER in any way, shape, or form verbally attacked her boyfriend, so I don't know she was so defensive--and offensive for that matter.

But at that point I was just too tired and miserable to say anything, so I cried myself to sleep and went to school late the next morning.

I then explained to her what I meant in that last text and she said
"Well, it didn't come out that way!"
Like it's my fault she was being a paranoid, arrogant bitch.

Anyway, I then asked if we could discuss this in person or over the phone.
Her response: "I guess, but even texting is fine. You just have to try harder to see things from my point of view."

In other words, she'd much rather see me walk on eggshells and bend over backwards to please her and give her every excuse in the world to lash out at her.
All I replied with, though, was:

I know, but I'm tired of saying the wrong thing and offending you and crying myself to sleep because of it.

And she said:
"Well. I'M not saying the wrong thing. I'm telling you the honest truth. YOU'RE just not owning up to what you did/said to me."

This is the point where I blew up last night.

After about five minutes of unsuccessful attempts to calm myself down, I finally keyed back:
"Fine. I abandoned you. There. Happy?"

And I haven't checked my phone yet to see what she said back, but franklly I don't really care.
We're done.

Clearly, my only mistake was even trying to apologize in the first place.

So I guess you guys, my family, Josh, and a couple people at school are my only friends now.
ily
~Belinda
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