myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Saturday, June 18, 2011

In response to last post: I was PMS-ing. Nobody actually came out and told me I was ugly. Well, not recently, anyway. I've been bullied and teased about as much as any other person.

HERE'S SOME MORE MENSTRUATION MOODINESS.

Promoted myself to lime-light leech,
A radio-edited step up from attention whore
Because I know there's been confusion about this, but my name is not pronounced That Bitch.
They yell at me, but even though I shouldn't have to scream every damn time I want to be heard, I do--so tell them to shut up and listen

I want so bad to say "I don't care" and make the words sincere, but she haunts me like mist over London.
No matter what I say or how the words are said, this basement is a dungeon and no matter how hard and how far I run--and run and run and run--her too long fingernails wrench into my brain and she turns them with a switchblade smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm going crazy.
So cray I can't keep my thoughts linear. This is happening all too often.

More on that later--maybe.

Crystalflute, I semi-agree with you about the sex thing. I think in a perfect world everyone would just stay with one partner forever and be perfectly sexually compatible so that no one would ever feel like they missed out on anything if one of the two didn't get to experiment as much, but you know--IMPOSSIBLE IDEALS *siiigh*

People do need to mind their own fucking business though. I am 18. Josh is 20--we are grown ass adults. If we want to have raging, heaving, spine-quivering, leg-cramping sex until our insides bleed, than it is no business of his parents or mine or his siblings or mine or his friends or mine or ANYFUCKINGBODY ELSES... Except God's. But that's only, because I love Him and this relationship never would've happened without Him and I want Him in this relationship because nothing this perfect ever lasts without Him and about 5,000,000,000,001 other similar reasons.

ANYWAY.
Went on a mini-cruise today because my daddy had this thing for work. Had three virgin strawberry daiquiri's and a less-than-virgin pina colada. And 2 plates full of yummy foods I can't pronounce or spell. And a piece of cheese cake. :D I'm fat. JAM ON. (Except not really because my metabolism hasn't gone and killed itself yet so I can basically eat anything and still be small-ish. :P)

But while I was out doing that, Josh spent the day with his friend Kait, who does not like me because when I met her, she was in the front seat of his car and I asked her to move to the back because, damn it, I'M the girlfriend and my rightful place is the front passenger seat and that really jammed a dislike stick up her ass for me. The thing is, Kait is also Josh's ex-girlfriend and Josh thinks she still likes him and she's really pretty and they're still really close AND IT MAKES ME SORT OF KIND OF SLIGHTLY NERVOUS THAT THEY SPENT AN ENTIRE DAY ALONE TOGETHER.

*deepfuckinbreath*

NOW. I don't think Josh is the type of person to cheat--as far as I know he's never cheated on anyone--and he's every bit as crazy about me as I am about him, so I don't think he'd actually do anything, but ugh. I'm just not comfortable with this.

I need to go talk to him or do deep breathing exercises or something. All this freaking out can't be good for my health--or complexion, more importantly.
ily
~Belinda
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