myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Boys. Is it their goal in life to make sure I feel shitty about myself?

Every time I get the slightest bit disappointed that Josh and I can't fool around--which isn't nearly as much now as when it was when we first started doing stuff--he takes it so damn personally, like he thinks I'm just using him for sex. Um, if that was all I cared about, I think I'd be long gone by now, don't you? It's not my fault kissing him is like being stuck by lightening.

I just wish he'd trust me. I just wish he would stop confusing me with his ex-girlfriend, who did use him for sex, and realize that I give and respond to affection best by touch--not even by sexual touch. Hold and cuddle me all day and I am a happy woman. I do admit, I enjoy sexual touching a lot more, but it's not like I demand it. It's not like we fool around every time we see each other and it's not like I expect to every time we see each other. Once a week is enough, and I think that's a pretty reasonable expectation.

And even if I don't even get that, I can deal. I'm disappointed, but I can deal.

But it's like Josh doesn't even want to allow me to feel that disappointment--like just because I say "Well, I wish we could fool around on that day, but I know it's your brother's birthday and you want to go see him, so I'll be okay," he thinks I don't love him.

Oy.... '-__- And they say WE'RE over-emotional.

I'm so tired. Gonna go to bed now alright? Alright.

ily
~Belinda
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