myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Sunday, October 30, 2011

SO. DAMN. ITCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!! >.<

For some reason, my skin only ever freaks out hours or even days after I freak out and have calmed down.
Is this strange? I think so. I never heard of anyone having hives or phantom itches as an extremely delayed reaction to anxiety.

Could also have something to do with the freakish weather. It snowed yesterday. :P

DAMMIT, i DON'T WANT WINTER TO COME THIS EARLY!!!!!

Oy. I'm so tired and so restless. Can't stop thinking, can't stop moving, but so far the only identifiable, distinct feeling I have is frustration. I have to write a persuasive research essay and I'm really on the fence as to which side I'll take. Better than doing nothing though, I guess.

Yesterday was a complete do-nothing day and I nearly went insane. Couldn't even go for a walk because the weather was so horrible. Today I probably still won't because even though it stopped raining/snowing/sleeting, it's still cold and windy out and I really don't feel like spending half an hour bundling up just to take a fifteen minute walk around the block.

That's one thing I don't like about having skinny arms. No body fat to keep them warm.

The other thing I don't like is people assuming just because I have skinny arms and a smallish waist, my whole body is model-thin, and that's not true. I may not have much of a chest, but I have a butt and legs and hips and just as much cellulite as the next girl.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm being conceited, but my whole life people have always taken one look at me and assumed I was this half-anorexic, calorie-counting, weight-obsessed freak who looked down on anyone else that wasn't as small as me, which is the farthest thing from the truth.

Especially when I was a little kid (about 6 or 7 years old) in ballet class and my metabolism was as twice as fast as it is now and as a result I was twice as thin as I am now, chubby and/or medium-sized girls used to come up to me all the time and tauntingly remark "you're skinny" in a tone that implied I wasn't healthy and there was something wrong with me.

Being only a little girl, it never occurred to me that my persecutors persecuted me out of jealousy or because people persecuted them for not being skinny, so I would often lash out at them and had I known what I do now, I obviously would have reacted differently, but the whole business was just really tedious.
Anyway, I gotta go.
ily
~Belinda
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