myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Monday, January 2, 2012

Hey, happy new year, everyone! :)

My parents are letting me go with Josh to Ohio for his birthday and we are leaving on the fourth. Not gonna be back til next Monday, so if I don't post again til then, that's why.

I did something really stupid on New Years Eve.

My moms friend, Ms. Mary, was over our house and she asked me if I'd seen Margaret. When I told her no, she asked me if I missed her. Again, I told her no, and she replied that apparently she misses me. According to what she says to my brother Charlie on facebook, she feels that she lost her best friend.

This got me all depressed and nostalgic and within about an hour I was in tears. So I sent her a message on facebook (I don't have her number in my phone anymore) telling her that I missed her too but I wasn't ready to come back to her and I wasn't sure I ever would be. Almost immediately after I sent that message, I regretted it. All the manipulative, self-righteous shit she said to me near the end of our friendship came flooding back into my brain and I remembered why we broke up in the first place: because she is not and never again will be the Margaret I fell in love with. Something in her has hardened and closed off--something vital and precious. Until that something thaws, there's no chance of resurrecting our marriage, and I know this sounds terribly harsh but unless she realizes that on her own, there's no way we can get back together.

She probably won't though. She's always been too stubborn and proud for her own good. When she's convinced she's right, everyone else is wrong, no matter what. :/ I'm not much better though.

ily
~Belinda
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