myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Ughhhhhhh. Feel so dead inside. Had a fever earlier so I couldn't make it to class plus I couldn't keep my eyes open and now my body won't let me sleep.
I'm so restless and I don't know what to do because I think I'm still sick so I don't want to over exert myself.

I notice right around the time I get home from school is when everything goes to hell for me. All my demons just break lose and rape the blank out of me. I'm trying not to curse because I notice I've been doing it a lot lately and I don't want to make it a habit.

This is really miserable though. I can barely even write. *siigh* I need drugs. Massive amounts of drugs. I'm almost considering breaking a limb off just so I can have access to morphine.

And not even listening to music helps. I just get really annoyed at the noise and can't think straight--not that I can think straight as it is, but... I just really need God right now. So, please, if you believe in God, even if only a little bit, pray for me. If you don't, ask someone who does to pray for me because I will say right now this needs a miracle.--I need a miracle.

Wrote this while I was about to pass out earlier. Thought it was pretty epic and I haven't posted any emo poetry on here in awhile so:

The Medications make you better by blocking chemical inhibitors
And jolting awake neurotransmitters,
By over-riding over-compensation for keeping dry what should be secreting
And by keeping secret things your brain doesn’t want your heart to know;
By damming the floodgates of today and possibly forever,
By delaying the pain until your body and soul can’t lie to themselves anymore,
By blocking, blocking, blocking, blocking, blocking—
Everything.
The pills are for the sleepless nights,
the swollen eyes,
the tight-fisted insides,
the knotted tangle of your Mind
Going in a million different directions.
Because somewhere between learning to walk and learning to live it became incredibly inefficient to be human.

So yeah. At least one good thing came out of all this. ANNNND, in less depressing news I learned about a bunch of cool hacker-y things in Mass Comm such as the hacker/activist group Anonymous.
Basically, they're this organization of people who don't even know who each other is (are?) that go around coordinating attacks on things just to point out their weaknesses. Apparently, they were behind that huge, month-long PS3 shut down. They hacked into Sony and stole a bunch of people's info--names, email addresses, account info, even credit card numbers.
So yeah. that was cool. And honestly, that's it. I don't really have anything else to say, so I guess I'll leave you with this.

MMMMMMMMHMMMMMMMMM. :)

Gonna go try to numb the pain with drugs and stupid jokes now.
ily
~Belinda
Comments (1)

« Home

Anime | How to Draw Anime | Anime Wallpapers

Top of Page