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• Belina

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myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X


Saturday, November 17, 2012

DAY TWO OF CRYING LIKE A BITCH

Actually, it wasn't that bad. I really only broke down once in the shower. Things still suck. I still love him. Same old, same old.

Walked to Starbucks with my little brother. Drank Christmas-themed coffee. Walked back home with said brother. Did math homework. Vacuumed. Kept hearing my little sister sing "Try" by Pink and got incredibly depressed. Went to the mall with my mom and my sisters. Got more depressed because that's where we had our first "date." Got some sushi. Was pretty terrible, but hey. Sushi is sushi.

Went home. Watched Last Holiday and laughed for a change. That was nice. Unfortunately, the whole point of the movie was to live life as if you were dying and I know if I were dying I'd want to spend at least some of my dying days with him because he was my best friend. I guess that's the hardest part.

If I had any sense, this is probably the Pink song I should be thinking of:


But I don't.
And I just feel so damn stupid, you know? I trusted him. I gave him everything. And it still wasn't enough.
I seriously thought he was The One. Some inconvenient part of my biology still does.

I know in a lot of ways this break up makes sense. We've both got a lot of growing up to do. Him especially.

But this fucking hurts so much. I feel like there's this giant, gaping hole from the middle of my chest to my belly button and every time I breath or move or speak, more skin tears open.

I guess I'll go read or cry or something now.
ily
~Belinda
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