myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-05-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• Here
Member Since
• 2005-05-30
Occupation
• Life preserver :)
Real Name
• Belina

Personal

Achievements
• http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb281/Soul_Resistance/Untitled.jpg... Nuff said
Anime Fan Since
• Ever since Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• I'm not that obsessed anymore, to be honest. Mostly just Kare Kano, Ceres, Furuba, Ouran Highschool Hostclub, FMA, and, of course, ShinChan. X3
Goals
• Make it out of here in one piece
Hobbies
• Paranoia, mood swings, and the occasional emotional meltdown
Talents
• :)

myOtaku.com: X Shadowme X

Friday, August 16, 2019

goodbye
I love you and i’m sorry. The truth is you’re better off without me.

Give my clothes to whoever wants them. Give my CDs to the salvation army or to any relative who wants them.
Burn my poems. Donate my books. Light white candles for me. Burn sage. Don’t spend too much time mourning--you’ll let life go by. That’s the kind of shit i always did. It’s what got me here in the first place. That, and giving advice i don’t take.

Someone warned me not to go to sheppard pratt. Doesn’t matter who at this point.

Don’t shelter your kids. It makes them weak, romantic, and unable to deal with any of life’s challenges.

Good news: I read somewhere that facebook has a memorial option. Check that shit out. Feed my ego after I’m gone.

Don’t bother with a funeral for me. I’m so sick of priests I could spit. Priests who say things like “people who don’t come to mass because of sex abuse are just making excuses” and “she only wrote those derogatory comments about priests because the devil told her to.”

Rob, enjoy Prague. I’m so proud of you.
Charlie, keep dancing. Keep singing. Keep loving.
Katie, keep being wonderful.
Emma, we never talked much, but you’re fucking amazing, the way you always take care of grandmom and the way you light up a room just by smiling and being goofy. I love you.
Valerie, Thank you. You made me laugh and love more than anyone on this Earth.

Margaret, you are the best. Don’t EVER forget it.

Chris, please go fuck yourself in every orifice.I’m so tired of your resentment and your blame and you saying shit like “i love you, but we’ll never get back together because it would be too destructive.” You know what’s destructive? Text messages like that. I love you--I’ll always fucking love you, even after i’m dead, but damn it, I did my best. I don’t know what to tell you.

Various Men I’ve Flirted With to Attempt to Get Over Chris, thanks for the memories. Sorry for the drama. You still cute tho.

Lisa and Cuin, I’m sorry. Really. I didn’t have the money to fix the carpet anyway and my family definitely doesn’t, so please don’t bother. It was never my intention to hurt either of you. If you don’t believe me, I understand.

Reed and Jesse, Thank you for being such great friends. I think I would have been dead months ago if not for you. Thanks, fam.

Zinzuedo Tribe, Thank you. Truly.

MyOtaku friends, each and every one of you is the bomb dot com. I know we never talked much post-Version Vibrant, but being a part of your lives has truly blessed me and I was so happy to see how much you’ve all grown and changed, and adulted.

Aunts, Uncles, Cousins: It’s not that I mean to jumble you all together, but if I addressed each and every one you individually, I might be alive for another 26 years, and that is not my intention. Thank you for the love and support. For all the times i said something that offended you or cussed in front of your children, I apologize. See you on the other side.

That Guy With The Face: You know why you attract broken people? Because you’re broken. I never even bothered reading the last message you sent all the way through. I don’t care how bad you’re hurting. It’s not okay to use other people and you only hurt yourself more in the long run. Get some help. Or, at least help yourself with something besides drugs. Idgaf. Enjoy California.

Yoga friends, keep being amazing. Nicole and Ketiki, I love you both forever and I hope you know at all times how much of a goddess each one of you is. Hang on to each other.

Dear Various Friends of My Mother,
It wasn’t the tarot cards. It wasn’t the public school system. It wasn’t the music. It was feeling like a goddamn waste of skin every day and trying and failing desperately to do something about it. Not everyone can be a saint every second of every day.

Myotaku.com, thank you for being the only place I can reliably post a suicide note without cops immediately being called. Dying is already undignified enough without police cars and press coverage.

goodbye

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