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myOtaku.com: XelaStrikesAgain


Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Insane Scientologists & Cthujesubuddmoseology
At first I thought that MAD had just made the Xenu story up for laughs. Then I found out it was true. I was on the floor for a few minutes before I realized that it was WIKIPEDIA, and Wikipedia never lies. EVER.

Are they SERIOUS? They're going to listen to L. Ron Hubbard's stupid little stories about Xenu flying to Earth millions of years ago and stacking billions of humans around volcanoes and then blowing them up with H-Bombs? In fact, he came here on engineless DC-8 planes through SPACE!

Three little letter, scientologists, three little letters:
W
T
F
.

This is pure bullcrap! I mean, this is the stupidest thing I've EVER heard be called an actual religion! It's pathetic! It's even more pathetic than my made-up religion of Cthujesubuddmoseology, which states that:

"In the year 583, 13 gigantic ghost ninjas walked from Japan to Inda backwards in order to give Jesus five bucks and to help Moses to stop smoking using only a toothpick and 8,000 dust particles. After doing so they were shot down by Extremist Mormons but regular mormons stopped them from doing this hideous blasphemy against god. Then the virgin mary came down from the heavens to show people the famous trick where you stab a knife all around your hand incredibly quickly without looking but your hand isn't stabbed thing. Then everyone played video games because in the time it took to do all that, 1,415 years had gone by and it was 1998, but this was happening in another plane of existence so no humans saw it because humans need to be left alone according to the heavenly Geneva convention which isn't called the Geneva convention in heaven, it's called the Aveneg Convention because God decided to put Geneva backwards just to mix it up."
~That's from their holy book, the 7h3b16h0|yb00k0f57uff.

THAT is more sane than Scientology. Admit it.
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