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Friday, August 18, 2006


Game Review: "Rampage: Total Destruction"
Rampage: Total Destruction is the celebration of Midway's "Rampage" series' 20th birthday. After the gems of the original "Rampage" and "Rampage: World Tour", you'd think that going 3-D and adding tons of new monsters and attacks would be a good thing.

ah... NO. The game's pretty bad. The monsters are in a pathetic cartoon fashion and the dialogue is sub-par. In addition to a bad soundtrack and character design (though keeping the 3 original monsters), the gameplay is a "Destroy Block-by-Block" kind of thing and very annoying. It's difficult to tell where you're hitting on a building, it takes much too long (an improbability due to the massive size of the monsters), and visibility is bad to start with. When a monster hits "Rampage" after destroying a lot, the "Rampage" meter goes down like Dubya's popularity after Katrina, and is much too short. Power-ups are lame (Wow, you can spin around multiple times in the air! So what if you only need to spin once and it doesn't do damage to anything but helicopters?) and challenges usually have to do with "Eat 3 _____". You don't even GET the new move unless you find the glowing black hole.

Boring, boring, and boring. You might be interested for a little bit, so it's a pretty good title to rent, and there is quite a bit of destruction (throwing cars at buildings and eating people while they grumble and complain of how this always happens when they're in the city is always funny). But if you're looking to buy, I suggest the much shorter but much, MUCH more fun "Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters MELEE," which features hyper-realistic monsters including our favorite, Godzilla, realistic cities (including Seattle, so it's always fun to destroy places that I've just been to yesterday), wonderfully funny stupid little aliens and all the fun of wrestling, gigantic stuff from Japan, and especially picking up the Space Needle and ramming it in to Mothra at 200 miles an hour.

Accept no substitutes! (unless you're renting)

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