Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Irony
Last time i posted, I spoke about my new girlfreind who made me get over the ones I tweaked over...Now I'm not with her, but we have strong feelings for eachother...I wanted her to end it b/c i didn't want to be a hypocrit. I was Out of my mind becuase the Song 'Unstable' by Adema(the Video above) was more true than I wish to admit...Thing were constantly going wrong and before I healed my wounds it i had new ones. aside from that it was all sex and fighting...I have a new girlfreind and the two of them are getting along very well as much as Emily wants to Hate Kayla, Emily is too nice to hate anyone, and Kayla is too loveable in general...they spent maybe 20 minutes talking on IM then Emily called me and they started ganging up on me(ok Emy was ganging up on me but Kayla was agreeing with her...this is one ninja that hate pirates, but I'd let those two make me walk the plank) so Now Life is good...
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Friday, August 11, 2006

7 days and not counting...
but I'm not worried about that I have a new girlfreind that I am beyond smitten with. She lives in Arkansas, nearly 6 hour drive from school...I feel so bad becuase I know there is someone that is near her that cares for her as much as me, I can't see her and he can't have her becuase of me. She says I'm so perfect and he is a great guy, she may be pregnant by her ex-(I don't think she is, but she isn't convinced) and both me and the other guy are willing to take care of the child, she feels bad becuase I can't being so far away, and she can't let him do it becuase it is hard not to become emotionally attached to a man taking care of your child, and she would not be able to live with herself if she fell in love with him while her and I are so close to each other. I feel so miserable thinking about this...and I feel bad becuase she has cuased me to get over Roxanne(My queen now and forever) my ex- from last year that I still tweaked over, and a girl that I care about and would really enjoy a real relationship with...all at one time. She doesn't support my dream, but she will not stand in the way of it unless I'm killing myself with it...And I refuse to let her give up on her own dream. I'll do everything in my power to make it work for her, but she isn't sure if she will meet me half way...
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Monday, July 24, 2006

Almost there...26 Days
I leave for Nashville in less than a month. I'm glad b/c my Love life is getting worse every time a try around here, and the funny thing is I've found one person in Louisiana worth staying for, she is beautiful, intellingent, and psychotic, as well as a wiccan, she likes to hang out with me, but she refuses to date me...but hey, I can start over once I get to TSU, and I have my queen I can visit every now and then, if she'll let me visit her. I don't think I ever have a chance to be with her either, and I will never find a girl at school that is right for me, they're all black, and black women are beautiful, but they are a completely different kind of psycho than what I'm looking for...
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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

WTF is up with my life
My life has me so confused, I have no freinds, a few people who feel sorry for me, and College is looking like a 20 year old scratching post, with how much we having to scrape for money just to get me up there since I'm not paying for a loan my whole life.
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Saturday, June 3, 2006

Juggalos
I came across an interesting proposition last night, I was offered a chance to go to the Gathering of Juggalos this summer, I really want to go, but I'm not sure if we'll be able to work all the details out in time...The Gathering is on July 13th-15th...which will be a great way to end the summer if I can go, and I may be able to save my own money, but I still need a ride, hopefully my freind(who shall remain nameless at this time, but people who been around me long enough here can guess who it is...but they don't come to my page.)
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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Accepted
I got my acceptence letter from Tennessee State this morning...I'm so excited, now nothing stands in my way except money to survive on when I get there. I hope a freind won't lock her door when I come for a visit...
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

No more school
at least until I move to TN in august...I graduate on friday, and so much family, 98% of which I hate, coming to see me. I hope I have a freind to run into when I get to TN, someone to make the move a little easier, on me. but all things considered, I'll have to grovel, and probably promise to make it never stop raining, for her to be willing to see me.
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Monday, May 1, 2006

Out of it
I've been a little too out of it for the past week, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to post, I know some of you were relying on my results, and I'm sorry, I'll try to get back to those, I don't know when I will get tonight's becuase I close tonight and will have to record it, I have to go out of town tomorrow, and I have to close on wednesday, being out of town I have to bring the tape to my dad, he went out of town for work, and we going to see him, bringing the tape, we were going to anyway, but he specifically asked becuase his boss like wrestling also. I'll get Impact up on friday, b/c I don't have to work on thursday, I should be able to get Smackdown on Saturday, I'll watch it before I go to the library and post it while it is fresh on my mind, If I don't get Raw by then I'll post it Monday, upon request(Comment that you still need those) I'll record A.M. Raw on USA 12:00midnight- 2:00A.M Sunday morning(CST)
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Monday, April 24, 2006

Merely Numb
After a few hours of sulking in my own depravity, I came to the conclusion, that I saw this coming, though hoping it wouldn't happen, I knew and had no was of changing it. My pain is there, it will always be there, but I am numb to it at the moment.
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

My pain is gone
I think I have lost all will to live, I know I have lost the Pain of my existence, the woman I love, the woman I've sworn to protect with every fiber of my being. I leave the fate of my accursed corpse to her, and the lycan who has taken her from me once again.

Edit: Losing my Will to live doesn't mean I'm going to kill myself, It simply means I don't want to wake up when I go to sleep. esp. since I know she has already broken a promise to me, then only promise I ever cared about anyone making to me...
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