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• 1992-06-22
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• 2007-03-18

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Anime Fan Since
• since the sailor moon and tenchie universe days
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• Nana,Junjou Romantica, Yaoi, yaoi, YAOI, chobits, Death Note, howl's moving castle (duh), Vampire Knight, blood +, bleach, Paradise Kiss,
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• Drawing. Listening to Visual/Oshare Kei music.


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myOtaku.com: XihearthowlX


Sunday, May 4, 2008






Honestly, have you ever asked yourself what your living for or why..? I would hope you wouldn't. I do it all the time. No, I don't wonder WHY I'm alive, and I don't wish I was just dead, what I mean is, sometimes I don't understand, because it feels like I am alone.

I have alot of time to actualy sit down and think, which is good and bad in my case, because I can easily anylize everything negative about what I am thinking about. Those of you who talk to me on a daily basis may have noticed that I have a pretty negative outlook on life, most of the time. I myself wonder why that is. Maybe it's because, I AM SUCH A DISAPOINTMENT TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND ME? Well, that's what people make it seem like, because I CAN'T tell people my true feelings, and myabe, that's because I don't even care about my own happiness, as long as the people are around me are happy, and that's just hurting myself.



And you know what, I just feel like there is no reason in even TRYING anymore, so basicly, I GIVE UP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. I try but it just drains me emotionaly and physicaly.

I know this is not making sense to anyone, but I guess you would just have to be me to understand, and I am trying not to hint at anything.

Sorry. I just needed to vent, I normally wouldn't tell people on here how I feel, because, to be honest. I think it's pathetic and I can only imagine how pathetic you guys would think I am, but I really have nowhere else to say what I feel without hurting anyone, and even posting this on here I am afraid that I am going to hurt someone.
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