Monday, February 12, 2007

   argness...
blah!!! Today was HORRIBLE!!!! it was the worst day i have had in like 5 million years (even though i have not lived 5 million years....) lol

but im not jokin, it was horrible. My bestest friends were all like makin fun of me all day. im sittin there, and occasionally i use my hands when i talk, and my best friend (Rachel)started mimicking me and then started tellin me that i looked stupid. and i went to one of my other best friends(Tanner) and was like "she is pickin on me..." and he said, "who wouldnt?" and then later i was talkin to a totally different friend(Amber, and we were talkin bout movies that made us cry. she said she didnt cry at movies, and i said that i cried alot when i saw The Last Samurai. but i also mentioned that i had needed to cry at the time. Then, my other friend (his name is Tanner, if you must know) and he was like "well, Andi, if you needed to cry, why didnt you just look in a mirror." All day people have been makin comments bout how stupid i am and stuffs. which isnt true. im not stupid. i might be a ditz at times, but that doesnt make me stupid.

Then on top of that, i am still doing alot of make up work, cause im sick like all the time. and i have 4 or 5 writing assignments that i havent even started yet that are due Wednesday!!!! and on top of that, half of my grades suck cause i have to make up the first 2 weeks of the symester. do none of the teachers understand anything? im stressed out of my mind right now. My parents just finished filing bankruptcy, and are bout to start filing the fuckin divorice papers. On top of that, i have my idiot of a father trying to turn me against my mother. And, i had to get a job to pay for chior tour, cause it is $400 to go, and if i dont go, ill lose points from my grade.

BTW!! last night sucked too. At our school, instead of dances, we have Banquets. well, i had a banquet last night. i had to have my dad drive me cause mum works two jobs and wasnt gonna get off till 11:00pm. The whole trip down there he was tellin me how horrible women are. I AM A FREAKIN GIRL!!! On top of that, he kept saying bad things bout mum. And he said that all the therapists and psychiratrists(sp?) he went to didnt find any abusive behavior in him. And that mum was makin it up as an excuse to leave him. Bull Fuckin Shit!!! He plays mind games. for everything. And he thinks the whole world revolves around him. He was 20 mins late pickin me up for my banquet, so i mentioned that wasnt all that happy bout it. he got mad cause i was angry that he was 20 mins late. I got out of the banquet 10 mins late, and he was pissed that i was late. And then the whole drive home he was talkin bout how much he hated people in my religion cause we all act like hypocrits(sp?).

and that was only before and after the banquet. at the banquet, was pretty depressing for me too. First off, one of my friends got a boyfriend,which is good for her but makes me feel like ill never find anybody. second off, my other friend kept bragging bout how she had 5 guys in the last week confess how much they love her. So, i wasnt havin any fun there. and the food sucked. lol. but, i guess i looked really pretty. One of my friends(Jade) said i was "a sexy beast" lol. some friends took some pics so ill have them e-mail me the pics and i can post them up here.

Sorry bout that. every now and then, i need to vent. and right now was a time that i needed to vent. lol. thanks for reading.
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