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• my happy place
Member Since
• 2005-03-29
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• well, wouldn't you like to know?!
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• give me some time so I can think of something witty and sarcastic
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• sports related things
Anime Fan Since
• 3rd grade
Favorite Anime
• InuYasha, Tokyo Babylon, Yu Yu Hakusho, Fruits Basket [Furuba], and others.
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• lots of things
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• drawing [anime], computers, sports, writing, and a bunch of other stuff
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• ...stop trying to make me feel good about myself. >.>;;
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Sunday, June 18, 2006
bad time to get all philosophical
I've never felt emptier in my entire life. I feel like a discarded hollow shell. (not to sound like an Organization fangirl; I'm serious)
I feel like I'm locked in a glass cage, just watching the world go by. Like I don't really exist at all.
I feel like I've never been truly loved and thus cannot genuinely love in return. Maybe I'm testing people. To see if they can really trust and love me. Maybe I'm testing myself. I don't know.
Not only that, but I feel like I'm being erased.
I feel like my emotions are slipping out of my reach. But it's a different kind of "slipping away" -- it's almost like I'm TRYING to erase them. Almost like I'm trying to become icy, solitary, unflinching. Almost like I'm trying to become a broken rag doll.
And weirder yet, I keep having these flashes where for a split second I see someone, but I can't tell who they are.
My dreams have been on repeat. Not the same dream like a week in a row, but dreams that I've had years ago -- they're coming back.
I've been acting like a different person. I've been rebellious. Colder. Meaner. The old me, they almost wouldn'tve hurt a fly.
Not to sound like the Evanescence/Roxas fangirl I am, but I need to say it:
I don't know who I've become
Did this post sound like a fanfic? I hope it didn't...
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