Thursday, October 28, 2004

   HAPPY!...sorta
Tommorrow the people in our school get to wear our costumes! My costume has a skirt...and too bad Alex won't see me AT ALL...I wish I could see him and actually talk to him in person so bad! I haven't seen him in forever!I would just reach up to him and hug him like he deserves...if only he didn't like that stupid Casey Champion.....
And when he talks about her..I feel like shit...like Urashima in the picture above....It's like I'm not even there to him 0.0
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

   Sad
I'm sad...I feel like I just got stabbed in the heart..why? Well, I have no idea...but I think I know why. I'm writing a novel called "Sudden Turn"...and it's very sad. Yes, Alex is the name of one of the main characters, but it's not really Alex. And the girl's name is Ashley, not Sarah..which is my name..that story's so sad..I didn't think it would make me cry though...I need a hug!!! Sign My Guestbook To Cheer Me Up!!!

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

   uh oh........more than once....
Tommorow I have a Science test. I suck at Science. But still, I'm not going to study. Also, I'm having financial troubles...again. That means that I might not be able to get Alex that $44 Coheed and Cambria jacket I was hoping I could get him... I told him I couldn't get it, then lead on that I was going to...so now I HAVE to!! Ahhh! Please sign my guestbook...make m e feel better.
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Sunday, October 24, 2004

   Thought...
Maybe youshould read the post below this one first to get the scoopage....

This friday is the Halloween dance, and I know he'll say no, but I'm thinking to ask Alex if he'll go trick-or-treating with me and my friends. He said he was going to a Senior party instead because he didn't want to spend the whole time with Kate since they were mad at each other. But now they're all happy with each other now, so that means he just MIGHT...right? You know you want to comment with your opinion!! So go ahead, especially you, Alex, if you're reading this!!!
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   Forgot
I forgot to mention on yesterday's post (yes I know I can modify it :P) that I found out something I think it would've been better if I didn't...
***Alex, don't read the next um...paragraph, it's about you and um..feelings I suppose***

Last night Alex got home from the Local (a club thing where bands play) and he was so happy. He was happy because he FINALLY got to spend time with Casey Champion...I suppose she's a junior from another school...He was just so happy he got to be with her, I didn't want to make him mad, so I didn't say anything about it, but what WOULD I say about it. I mean it IS his life, and I shouldn't be in the way of it. But just so he knows, he probably is reading this if he's on my page since it says "don't read it" for him, but that moment really mad me feel invisible. Like I didn't even exist. I felt like shit. When you really really like someone that doesn't like you back, it makes you wonder if you're ever going to get another boyfriend. Like "Hey, what's wrong with me? Am I unlikeable?" or maybe "Why am I even here, it's clearly impossible for me to be his girlfriend." It's really depressing and sad. He should know, he's an "emo" person. A "sensitive" person. He should clearly understand, but maybe not since he can get anyone he wants. Haha. If he is reading this, I bet ya he's gonna be mad at me too.
Well, I guess whatever makes him happy, though that was the minute my heart sank and I could feel my tears, but like usual, I swallowed them back. To try and get my mind off things, which was a failed attempt, I listened to Ashlee Simpson's "Giving it all away" and "Undiscovered". (#11 and #12) This might sound stupid, but then I realized how undiscovered I am, and how small people know about the real me, since they don't bother to ask, since they think they do know me. But, whatever you know? I can always let you guys know the real me!! *.* Only if you're willing to listen...
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   Muh Season

You're an Autum. You're much more laid back then
most and you're very comfortable in new
situations. You rather let things go with the
flow than try to change them. You have a lot of
close friends who love you because you can help
them with their problems. You're a very patient
person and it take a lot to get you rattled.
You're deffinately a lover not a hater. (If you
can't see tje pics, go to my homepage and look
near the bottom and find your result)


What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Apparently, I'm Autumn, my favorite season anyway! I just love the picture, and it's so perty. Autumn is the death of what was brought to us during Spring. It is when the darkest of people come out, the things others have not yet seen. It is when the students become lonely when they walk home from school, and easily depressed...I love Autumn.
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Saturday, October 23, 2004

   True Result

Your H.I.D.D.E.N Emotion. You have the hidden
emotion meaning your hiding your feeling from
the world. You look normal, you act normal.
People see you as a happy person. When inside
your suffering of depression. You hide this
feeling because you don't want your
family,friends to worry about you.Like me ,I
hide my feeling of sad,lonely and
depressed.Tip:-_-


what's your level in emotion? UPDATED agin!!!,GREAT PICS
brought to you by Quizilla

There's another quiz result. It's actually very true. I don't want people to worry about me, so I choose to hide my feelings. I mean, yea, sure, I've thought about suicide, but who hasn't? No, I haven't grabbed a knife or gun to do it with, if that's what you're asking. Sometimes I just burst into tears, I hold my covers tight and close my eyes. One of those reasons is because I don't want to be alone anymore. Sometimes having friends isn't enough. Going through your second heartbreak isn't any easier than the first. Whom is making me feel this? I think he very well knows, but I don't believe it is any of your concern, but if you're curious, go ahead and message me the question. I think this gave you an inside look on me...not even my best friend knows this stuff...
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Result

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	April 16, 2020
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Those were the results from some ...quiz... dont' worry, I don'y even know who they are, so I won't kill them. I think they're Paris Hilton and someone else, but I'm not sure, and I don't care.
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   oops!
Today, when I went to the mall..again...hehe..I spent all my money on an Invader Zim, Gir t-shirt, (I just LOVE gir!) and now don't have any money for Alex's cd on monday...Gawd! I want it so bad, but my brother said I won't like it...Screw him! Haha. And when me, Jimmy (brother), and Billy(bro's friend) were at Rite Aid, we saw Josh's(part of Alex's band, Matador versus Matador) car across the street RIGHT after I asked what his car looked like..odd huh? Tomorrow we might go to a haunted house..and if Jimmy brings a friend, I want it to be Alex so I won't be as scared! Hehehe...yes I am a HUGE chicken, but I do LOVE being scared out of my MIND!...Then I can hold Alex's arm as i scream my head off! Hehe...good plan, Sarah, better than asking him out...I found out guys hate that..and that he might say no...probably because he's my brother's best friend! >.<..And I'm not going to ask him since I don't feel like getting my heart ripped apart by him...though it already is...
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   Today...
Today, I just joined! Yay! I advertised my "crush's" (Alex's) band, Matador versus Matador, website: www.geocities.com/matadorversusmatador
I guess his name on the site is: EmbersxofxNever
My friend Kate is over, and tommorow we are going to the mall! Whee!
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