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myOtaku.com: XxDarkenedHeartxX
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Sunday, October 24, 2004
Forgot
I forgot to mention on yesterday's post (yes I know I can modify it :P) that I found out something I think it would've been better if I didn't...
***Alex, don't read the next um...paragraph, it's about you and um..feelings I suppose***
Last night Alex got home from the Local (a club thing where bands play) and he was so happy. He was happy because he FINALLY got to spend time with Casey Champion...I suppose she's a junior from another school...He was just so happy he got to be with her, I didn't want to make him mad, so I didn't say anything about it, but what WOULD I say about it. I mean it IS his life, and I shouldn't be in the way of it. But just so he knows, he probably is reading this if he's on my page since it says "don't read it" for him, but that moment really mad me feel invisible. Like I didn't even exist. I felt like shit. When you really really like someone that doesn't like you back, it makes you wonder if you're ever going to get another boyfriend. Like "Hey, what's wrong with me? Am I unlikeable?" or maybe "Why am I even here, it's clearly impossible for me to be his girlfriend." It's really depressing and sad. He should know, he's an "emo" person. A "sensitive" person. He should clearly understand, but maybe not since he can get anyone he wants. Haha. If he is reading this, I bet ya he's gonna be mad at me too.
Well, I guess whatever makes him happy, though that was the minute my heart sank and I could feel my tears, but like usual, I swallowed them back. To try and get my mind off things, which was a failed attempt, I listened to Ashlee Simpson's "Giving it all away" and "Undiscovered". (#11 and #12) This might sound stupid, but then I realized how undiscovered I am, and how small people know about the real me, since they don't bother to ask, since they think they do know me. But, whatever you know? I can always let you guys know the real me!! *.* Only if you're willing to listen...
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