Tuesday, August 29, 2006

2nd day of school i have survived!! lol it actually wasn't that bad. Skalican's advisory was hilarious!! lol and science calss wasn't to bad either. i actaully enjoy science and math this year! y? idk!! lol Printmaking class is the best!! get to work with computers like layouts and posters, magazines!! it was awsome!! we didn't actaully do anything we just discussed at what we might do. ^^ well i'm gonna go chat with my other friends on AIM. so yea. byes!!

Shia
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Monday, August 28, 2006

school was....not fun. My science.homeroom teacher is possibly the worst teacher ever!! i was sitting right there in the front row and he's fricken screaming at the top of his lungs!! lol i only have a few classes which each of my friends >_< which sucks. so what's up with u all?

well i'm bored and idk what to do!! lol well i'm gunna go. tty all later!!

Shia
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

I had very little sleep. i didn't fal asleep until 9 in the morning and i didn't wake up until 12 *yawns*

Yesterday i went to see the movie Talladega Nights. it was hilarious and really good. School starts tomorrow...>_<... so not looking forward to that ~_~ anyway i'm in a good mood ^^ hee hee

Why? well...idk why, lol

I'm Single and Happy ^^ yup that's it
but i'm in debt >< i owe my mom like $50...i have to clean the living room and kitchen, my baby brothers bedroom, my room, the dining room and the basement. Cleaning Day.

>_< sucks ass

idk if i should take my backpack to school tomorrow, mom says i should b/c i'll have books that will have to be covered. i can take them home another time.

Did i mention my allowance got cut? yup...that's why i'm in debt and i have to clean the house tomorrow. i was gonna try and go up to a friends house. but that's WAY out of the question. there's so much to do, so little time. i might not be on tomorrow b/c my mom is going to be changing my time limit. i won't get out of school till 2:20 and i won't be home till about 2:45-2:50 in the afternoon. erg. then they're shutting down the old iron bridge and rebuilding it. >_< i'll have to ride the bus in the morning also then. Great.

i have to wash laundry today to. why? idk... >_<

For someone who's in a good mood i sure am complaining a lot. Lol

Ok so how've u all been? mom's been busy running back and forth. lol it's funny to watch her. Her hair looks like it's alive and could eat someone. I'm serious to. lol

well i'm gonna go. my post was short today. oh and my top 10 things from yesterday, here they are again

..........................................

1. we aren't posers cuz if we were then a whole bunch of ppl looking like Sarah Marino would be walking by~and believe me she isn't ur idea of an idol(no offense)~and that's a scary thought right there. ppl with short curly black hair, white faces that looked like u had just seen a ghost, bulging blue eyes is scary on every one's face. One sarah is bad enough...but a whole world of them? damn, might as well shoot urself now and get it over with

2. we aren't fake cuz i'm pretty sure we are walking, talking, breathing human beings (well most of us anyway~haha sorry just being my idiot self)

3. We don't worship her b/c she isn't ur idea of a perfect idol...or a bad one at that either. she's just....plain.

4. She must go through hell, and i understand that. i honestly do. but that doesn't mean that other ppl don't have problems. the world doesn't revolve around Sarah Marino cuz if it did...everyone would be miserable and walking zombies....seriously....the world would be complete chaos if it revolved around her.

5. Lifes a bitch...and then ya die. ya'll just gotta get used to that

6. i have friends, great friends in fact and i'm sure she does to or else she would probably be dead right now b/c of the many difficulties she's been through

7. Sarah Marino...(i can't believe i'm going to say this but in fact it's kinda true) u r probably an idol to kids who have parents JUST like urs. u actually stuck it out through all those hard times. No, my father doesn't beat me, but it doesn't mean he's never taken a belt to me. or slapped me. i know ur life is hard...everyone's is but...u just gotta live it out. stick up for urself...and personally if anyone beat the living snot outta me like that i would kick their sorry ass clear to cleveland and shove them up a fat lady's ass! (sorry if this is any offense to anyone but i don't believe anyone should go through the pain she has endured)

8. yes i probably have a better life than sarah...but i'm not proud of it

9. i don't want to be her friend...i know it sounds like i do but i don't~b/c personally i have my own problems and my friends to help out and i can't handle any more stress with her~

10. A small part of me thinks she's cool b/c of the way she has been through everything. but most of me...actaully pretty much ALL of me thinks she's a bitch and wish she would stay out of my life along with my friends. that's the only reason i think of her as cool...any other reasons, shes a low self-centered hypocrite looking for attention.
..........................................

Well ByeByez

~Shia

May God Bless you through all your hardships and the pain you will endure

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

I don't want to be in the fight. it's messed up and it isn't my fight. Danielle (Valon Cra-Z) and Sarah (SonnyCheshire) started this whole fued. I don't want to be in it! Envy, Mel, Jessy, Ami, & me do not want to be apart of their fight. if we did, well...let's just say the world would know it. I know Sarah's life is worse than mine but i am not going to pity her. she's been pitied all her life and needs a break. if she's so fed up with her life she should just go to Child's Angency Care and stop this madness in her life. Or someone else will...

Ppl hate to get into fights. Especially me. Yes, i run from my problems, but my friends help me face them everytime. From when i had butterflies for the shcool production, to after breaking up with my first bf (btw i suggest NO ONE date Alex Herbst~known as the herpies fairy~he will destroy u and he's a pervert) they were always there to support me. They're are absolutly the best friends i will ever have.

I'm tired of Sarah dargging me and my friends down. Everything got horrible after she started to get mad at US for HER'S and DANIELLE'S fight. WE (me, envy, mel, jessy, and ami) didn't do a thing to her!! i'm tired of this! y did she have to drag us into her mess...?

I'm so confused. if sarah and danielle would just settle their fued then everything would be ok~not perfect tho~

1. we aren't posers cuz if we were then a whole bunch of ppl looking like Sarah Marino would be walking by~and believe me she isn't ur idea of an idol(no offense)~and that's a scary thought right there. ppl with short curly black hair, white faces that looked like u had just seen a ghost, bulging blue eyes is scary on every one's face. One sarah is bad enough...but a whole world of them? damn, might as well shoot urself now and get it over with

2. we aren't fake cuz i'm pretty sure we are walking, talking, breathing human beings (well most of us anyway~haha sorry just being my idiot self)

3. We don't worship her b/c she isn't ur idea of a perfect idol...or a bad one at that either. she's just....plain.

4. She must go through hell, and i understand that. i honestly do. but that doesn't mean that other ppl don't have problems. the world doesn't revolve around Sarah Marino cuz if it did...everyone would be miserable and walking zombies....seriously....the world would be complete chaos if it revolved around her.

5. Lifes a bitch...and then ya die. ya'll just gotta get used to that

6. i have friends, great friends in fact and i'm sure she does to or else she would probably be dead right now b/c of the many difficulties she's been through

7. Sarah Marino...(i can't believe i'm going to say this but in fact it's kinda true) u r probably an idol to kids who have parents JUST like urs. u actually stuck it out through all those hard times. No, my father doesn't beat me, but it doesn't mean he's never taken a belt to me. or slapped me. i know ur life is hard...everyone's is but...u just gotta live it out. stick up for urself...and personally if anyone beat the living snot outta me like that i would kick their sorry ass clear to cleveland and shove them up a fat lady's ass! (sorry if this is any offense to anyone but i don't believe anyone should go through the pain she has endured)

8. yes i probably have a better life than sarah...but i'm not proud of it

9. i don't want to be her friend...i know it sounds like i do but i don't~b/c personally i have my own problems and my friends to help out and i can't handle any more stress with her~

10. A small part of me thinks she's cool b/c of the way she has been through everything. but most of me...actaully pretty much ALL of me thinks she's a bitch and wish she would stay out of my life along with my friends. that's the only reason i think of her as cool...any other reasons, shes a low self-centered hypocrite looking for attention.

Life is a great mystery to us all. Why ppl do the things they do, no one will ever know. But ppl do know that life wasn't just created so ppl could be on the streets, beat every day of their lives, fear of sleeping b/c they might never wake up. Everyone has hope and faith in them. it's just somewhere hiding and it's up to u to bring it out. If u just linger, hoping someone will do the finding for u ur out of luck. They might help u search but...it's entirely up to u to bring it out. Love is a thing u have to earn. u don't get it automatically, u have to earn it. Friendship, it sure is harder to earn then love. ppl have many friends, even the homeless have friends. give them money and they're ur friends, talk to them or keep them company, they are ur friend. everyone is given a specific life for a reason. we don't just happen to choose them. they are given to us b/c maybe...God or whoever u might worship believed u were best fit for that part. so if it means sarah's life is hell then he thought she was best for it b/c of the way she handle's herself now-a-days. life may get u down...but u gotta stay on both ur feet to be able to stand tall...


..............................................

*laughs hysterically* ....my mom found somthing in the frig...she thought it was alive!! i told her it was corn that we had forgotten about and she just stared at me like i was a lunatic. *starts laughing again* i find this whole event funny (it's even more funny if ya heard her and seen her face) lmao

..............................................

i started drawing comics....not ur everyday manga comics but like...ppl, ppl comics. one is really disturbing and i threw it out b/c mom said to. I'm working on 2 layouts, one for myself and one for ELSS
the one for my self is just for fun b/c i get bored sometimes.

Well i guess that's all i have for today....anyone still want their horoscope read?

~Shia

May God Bless you and all the pain you will endure

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Friday, August 25, 2006

i feel like crying. i feel so terrible. everything is so wrong...at first my parents and i started to get along again. but then it turned disasterous~idc if it isn't spelled right~ we started to have family outings like we used to. but...then i did something that disappointed them. i told them i didn't want to attend WVU (west virginia university) so that engaged them into an arguement with eachother. when i tried to stop it i got slapped. my dad didn't mean to do it. i guess it's my own fault for screaming SHUT UP over and over again. when i think of how much i disappoint them, it reminds me how much i wish i wasn't born. i'm tired of all the lies and i want my parents to trust me again. i want them to be able to love me again and not feel ashamed of who i am. that way i won't be afraid of who i am. i won't be afraid of my dad when he screams and yells. (and no my father doesn't abuse me, he isn't like that. he just yells a lot which is scaryier b/c he looks like a furocious pit bull) it's like the song Perfect by the band Simple Plan we used to have so much fun together. he would take us fishing (more times than he did this year) horse back riding, up to the bike trail, he would even take us out on a boat. but...everything changed when we moved. My dad's company might even be getting transferred in the next year or two. I know this is possible cuz he's transferred b4. i'd have to leave everyone behind. i didn't want to tell my friends b/c i didn't want to hurt them. my dad btw owns H&H windows. Haas & Herbert (i think is how u spell the other guys last name) Windows. My cousin, Dallas, had overheard them talking on how my dad might be getting transferred.

The real pathetic part is we spent over a thousand dollars improving the house we live in now. We added on, we repainted the white walls to other colors, the doors were replaced, walls were replaced, frames, windows, u name it we probably replaced it. and we aren't even done! we spent over 2 and a half years here so far and it's not even done. Dallas, ~cousin~ said that my mom just sits around on the couch all day, watching TV and smoking. she's a housewife. But she does work. she paints, works on crafts and stuff for the house decorations, it's not true what they say. she's....a good mom i guess. she just doesn't show it...

I'm sore b/c i didn't sleep at all. i've been thinking all night and reading, i also tried working on my story but that failed and i didn't get a wink of sleep. Anyone believe in Miriacles? cuz i sure as hell need one right now. aren't the moons, stars, and the sun supposed to tell u ur fate? well i found out mine. Pure Misery For Life.

~chaning subject~

I hope u like my new theme. Momentary Bliss
It's a Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle theme. oh and so my mind gets to distracted i am asking-no begging- for ppl to make a layout request. i need something to do.
SKF
made my layout for this site. so i owe her a great deal of thanks. it was screwed up for awhile but she figured it out and now it's just slow processing the header on my CP. *sighs* great.

Do you think Long Distance works? if so plz tell me...

After i get off the CP at 3pm i am tearing down every single artwork i have on my walls. i don't want to be reminded at how i disappeared at drew trying to forget what was happening in the other room...

Melly might come over today. god i hope so. when i have guests my parents act like they love me. but sometime they forget and they start yelling. My arms are sore...my eyes are heavy but i'm terrified to sleep b/c of the nightmares i have been having.

Anyone wanna know there horoscope? i found this site that tells u ur horoscope and it's really cool. ^^ it even got mine right. it described me! that's freaky right there. and if u wanna know something else that's really cool (i found it is a magic book my sister had and it got my personality right!) u can have ur personality delivered right to u! it may not ALL be right but most of it is! i did all of my friends and they didn't know it (now they will) and it actaully described them! it's called Arithmancy- a type of divination- sorta like fortune telling only ur future isn't being told.

for ur horoscope told i will need: Ur DOB, zodiac sign, and ur name. (and if u have a bf or gf his/her name will be needed also) i will PM u ur results^^

for the Arithmancy: first and last name are required (u do not have to do this, this is ur choice)

well i'm gonna go. if you would like ur Horoscope read plz just simply leave it in a comment or PM me. and if u would like to know when u would die, PM me-do not leave it in a Comment b/c some information is required.

i'll post up my horoscope tomorrow, and each and everyone who wants there horoscope posted also i will do at least either 2-3 a day. ^^ byes

~Shia

May God Bless you through all ur hardships and the pain u will endure

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

i have finished the layouts i was needed to do. i did an inuyasha one and a pita-ten one. *sigh* i'm bored now and need something else to do. i guess i could work on my story but idk. I'm watching my cat. lol she's just sitting here on my lap and staring up at me typing. i would take a picture but...

1. I'm in the family room and my room is on the other side
2. The cat wouldn't be happy that i kicked her off of me

I can't believe i'm gonna say this but...anyone was a layout made? i am actually offering you a chance. just either leave it in a comment or PM me.

So yea.

I dropped a knife. On MY toe. it was painful. T_T and then my brothers wouldn't stop kicking me and now i have like a zillion bruises. >< painful!!

today is Thursday. The sad thing is school is in less than a week. Monday. what fun i shall have. I got Mr. Skalican (known as Scaliwag~haha) >_< i do not want him as a teacher!! oh well i'm not alone. Mel is with me. and i start off the day in Choir with my friends, Dani, Holly, Jessy, and Thomas. and then it's music...so i don't go anywhere. i stay in the room. bleh. Mr. V twice for a whole fricken semester. oh what joy. oh well. me and mel are on the Yearbook Committie thing. so that's another class we have together. FINALLY. last year we had no classes together so i'm greatful for this. then there's WV studies with the vice principle...this should be fun. *makes a face* oh well

ok i don't get this...Aries...The God of War is a stinkin RAM!! A RAM...
-_- so basically i'm a ram...i'm a fricken sheep!! a SHEEP!! T_T

Lovey (my kitty) is sleeping now...my legs just went numb....but she's so adorable!! ^^

So what's new with everyone? i feel like dying cuz i'm so tired. Oh well. well...Byes!

..::Shia::..

School Starts August, Monday 28th, 2006. Today is August, Thursday 24th, 2006....5 days left...great -_-

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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

*yawns* too tired to move...*yawns* lazy lol...but seriously i'm numb cuz i slept wrong...erg...ok well i might go swimming so that's just about it. and i 'm working on a layout for a friend so yea...well ttyl

Shia
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

So sick of f**kin' life i can't take it no more. i' quit. i'm done. it's over.

Sick. Tired. Can't Take Any More Of This Effin Pain.

SO SHUT UP!! I HATE IT!! TEENAGERS SHOULDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS!

i'm sorry. but my nerves have reached their limit.

1. Love
2. My family despises me
3. Sarah Marino
4. My grandparents
5. School begining
6. Life

I'm just...done with it all...

I'm sorry. I really am. But, i just can't take no more of this stress. It's just too much. And no matter what anyone says (SM) i have pain in my life, i know what it's like, I'm despised by my parents, they think of me as a disappointment. My friends will be gone soon b/c no matter how hard i cling on...i'm gonna lose it all.

So, for all those who i have hurt, i am sorry. i truly am.

To My Friends (i speak to Sarah Marino also~and no she isn't my friend even if God wanted us to be~)

Although life may seem tough u have to go on...even though no matter how hard it gets someone will always be there to wipe away the tears that you shed. Even though it may not seem like it, someone out there loves you for who you truly are. They just haven't found you yet. You have to hang on in the worst of situations. Just...hold on tight. 'cause no matter where you go, someone cares about you.

I know life may seem hard, i go through a hard life everyday and sometimes i let it get me down. But knowing that someone cares about me keeps me going. No matter the urges to jump off a building, a knife through the heart, or other suicide attempts, i go on fighting for the future. My goals in life are simple ones and i want to fulfill them...

1. Become an Astrologist
2. Travel to every place on the planet
3. Sing
4. Become an Artist
5. Write Stories and Poetry
6. Leave America and go to Germany
7. Get Married
8. Have a Wonderful Family
9. Raise My Kids to be the best that they can be & treat them differently then how my parents treated me
10. Open a Vet Clinic for mistreated & abandoned pets
11. Don't let Life get Me down
12. Keep the friends i have now
13. Open a Book Store
14. Watch my family grow
15. Die a happy old woman

Your goals can be fulfilled also, just live life. No matter what...just stand tall as an old oak tree who has lived through the wonders of life. "Don't Let Life Get You Down Just Because The People Around You Are Bringing You Down"

Just b/c some ppl hate you it's probably b/c they are jelouse and/or want the life u have. Like i said...Go on with life...cause one day...there's gonna be something out there worth living for...

I know this from expirence. ~Smiles~

Shia Ashakira
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