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myOtaku.com: XxForgottenxX
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Friday, December 1, 2006
i'm hoping to get my story up this coming Sunday. and just b/c i luv u all so much i'll post the first 5 chapters. i'm working on 22 now. for some reason i only want to work on it on the weekends. *confused* *shrugs*
i'm sorry everyone. idk why tho. but i am. sorry for everything. *sighs* i feel like such a failure. i've been so confused lately and...i can't do anything right anymore. i keep getting yelled at for nothing i did, my ex is being an ass hole to me and...i just feel like giving up. i feel like killing myself just so i don't have to bare more pain.
i'm so fucking fed up with everyones shit. they all bitch at me b/c i try to help and then they get mad when i don't help. SO SCREW THE PPL WHO HATE ME!!! I DON"T GIVE A FUCKING CARE WHAT U FUCKING THINK!!!
look soryr for all my profanity to those who are against it but i am BEYOND pissed. *growls* I"M TIRED OF HELPING PPL WHO DON"T APPRICIATE IT!!!
none of my friends are on. i have no one to talk to. no one to cry to. it's so fucked up. i hate feeling like this. why does it have to be me?! I HATE IT!!!! i hate god. he never did anything for me but gave me a life i can't handle. screw him. he made my life hell so why should i be grateful? why should i pray to him when i have for the last 13 years of my god damn pathetic life!! HE NEVER LISTENED!!!
sure...there are others who need his help more than me but i have helped so many from suicide and i get nothing. NOTHING. I HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM!!! he's always up there with his special angels, his special son, his special self!! I HATE HIM!!
...i hate him...
i helped others. don't i count for anything? don't i mean something?
...i guess not...i'm just a pathetic girl in this fucked up world and no one sees me b/c i'm just another being walking around in this crowd. this stupid...fucked up crowd.
...i hate life...
y the hell am i tell u all this? it's not like you'd care right? u have ur own problems and don't need to listen to me.
i'll just go for the night.
thanks for hearing me bitch all night.
Shia
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