Tuesday, December 26, 2006

:)

i hope everyone's holidays went well! ::pasted from my LJ. "[ ]" = my comments:: haha my family is lame and we open gifts on Christmas eve now, since there are no small children to awaken us at 4 am screeching about santa and such and so forth 8DD;; SOOOOOOO i got all my stuff tonight [christmas eve night is when i posted this on lj], and PICTURES are ensuing this ....pointless ramble! OKAY soooo POTC2 (always a good thing ;D 42 year old man and Johnny's still bringin sexy back!) atop an anatomy book (take your mind out of the gutters, it's for sketching xP) AND A BRAND NEW SEWING MACHINE WHOOOOOO complete with all new thread, pins, sewing needles, and such things as owuld be necessary for...well sewing! This is by far the best smelling shit in the entire world (well aside from my new Raulph Lauren perfume, which will be the next photo onthe agenda ;D). It came with body spray, lotion, shower gel, and that big brush thingy is filled with little golden sparklies that smell of Japanese cherry blossoms 8DD (that face will be frequent throughout this entry). Not to mention it came in this pretty little (okay it's actually a very big) red box with a sequined lid :D My obsession with boxes ends here, I swear. it was just so pretty and purple @___@ (that's my favorite color, for those of you who don't know haha....aside from red *coughkikuknowsaboutthatcough* heeeeee) Seriously I'm gonna smell like sex on a stick after all this good stuff people bought me. This was from my brother, he must have payed a small fortune because RL is NOT very cheap stuff!!! I think it's about $60 or so for just the BOTTLE so when I saw it was this big box my mouth dropped. It's body gel, the perfume, and lotion. I'm currently wearing the lotion right now and I can't help but stop typing to smell my hands every ten minutes XDD Last but not least -- a very tiny, but sufficient mp3 player. It's a 2 gigabyte mp3 player, so I'm not complaining. I needed one after my last one died on me D: cheap piece of shit. AND ITS PURPLE TOO 8DDD YAYYYYY but all my music is on my other computer, which has no moniter....sooooo i need to unhook my dads computer moniter, take it into my room, transfer all of my music to the mo3 player, and possibley a few files (of which i haven't seen in the months since the moniter died) onto some disks. okay so yeah, the two things I needed most were a computer moniter and a new cell phone, which were not included. But I'll live. I admit I was a tiny bit disappointed because my dad kept talking about it so I had just ASSUMED I would be getting them, but then I realized "wow aren't we a little spoiled bitch" and sucked it up, and made sure not to say anything because I know how stressed both my parents were anyways. We're having some issues right now, my dad is losing his job in a week or two (it's closing down, real nice, huh? ~_~). We've known about it for about a month and a half now but it's still creating money problems, so I can understand why all my little whims weren't met and I'm fine with it. I'm not happy about all the shit happening at once, but I understand nonetheless. My dad's been a wreck for the past couple of months since he found out about it but he's still keeping on and trying hard to find a job to go to after this one ends, my mom just quit smoking and EVERY day all we hear is "god i need a cigarette". (you'd think that would be motivation enough for ME to quit smoking as well, but it just makes me want one more *rolls eyes*) And she's had muscle issues too for a while, so that mixed with the job BS is just making this tiny little Tennessee apartment a breeding ground for screaming matches and mental problems *__*;; I'm grateful I even got what I got, and to be honest I was willing to go without any presents this year (granted, that was mostly because I want to go to fanime and will do anything to suck up for it buuuut that's only a little fraction of it). I know we could have used the money on other things, other more important things, so I almost feel bad that I was able to open a few gifts this year. If anything my parents deserve things more than I do, with all the shit I put them through lately. It would be selfish to compare my stress to theirs, but christ all the excess stress they are emanating is absorbing into MY system and making me stress too. Mixed with minor school problems it's just making everything "happy happy happy". Hopefully the new year will bring about better things for everyone. One can only hope, right? I just wish I could have done something, to indirectly show them I'm not as ignorant as I may be portraying myself to be, and I realize I don't deserve much of the good things they're doing for me. I'm not a very open person when it comes to thanking people or apologizing, it's hard for me. REALLY hard. It almost makes me sick to my stomach to do it, and as horrible as that makes me sound all I can say in some sort of justification attempt is that I can't help it. I don't really know how to thank people with words, just with actions. And the best I can do is hope that they can realize how deep of a thank you it is from me. =\ [/end lj post] NOW!! my current song is In Vain *malicious grin* and it's at my favorite verse muahahaha oh Hizumi...you dirty little man ;D I'm having flashbacks lmao. I have those a lot, especially when I'm feeling particularly sad, I just get nostalgic and remember the better times I've had. Meeting D'espairs Ray is a common memory I get XD. As well as...the live *grin* ill start chuckling in the middle of class sometimes because I'll remember Zero's little smile he gave me, or when Hizumi forced me to grab his rather prominent boner (HE HAD PANTS ON!!! IT WAS NOT MOLESTATION!!!). Oh lord I'm giggling insanely now xDD and sometimes ill remember just random little incidents with my old friends... I smell like Ralph Lauren!! That is my favorite perfume and I used the body wash and the lotion tonight. Soooooo good. My skin is delectable 8DDD and the song changed OHHH english music! HAHA that's a rare one...Out of Your Mouth. Good band :) yes im singing to it. GOOOOOOOOOOOOD thing you can't hear me ;D I drew this Xmas eve night, i love my new anatomy book, it helped me learn to draw bodies in more....interesting positions *wink wink* I drew it for a friend, what do you think? It's quickly done, yeah you can probably tell. And my scanner kills EVERYTHING so that....yeah ill stop with excuses, if it sucks then it sucks XDD please be honest. I SWEAR THERE IS SHADING, but like i said, my scanner MAIMS EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES. oooh another song change? GGFDGNKFDGNFD MSI 8DDD. Yes. Alayna loves MSI. She does she does and she'll stop speaking in third person now. She will she will. heee. My parents were rather BITCHY today, and I didn't much appreciate it. I am a very mouthy person as it is, and it's not unusual for me to just tell my mom to shut up when she annoys me. So when I told her to mind her own business I got in a tiny bit of trouble since my dad was here but nothing big, he just said "get off the computer now". i didnt, i just stalled until he forgot. Yeah im probably a spoiled brat. That would explain a lot of things. hmmm... xXTOCXx

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Saturday, December 23, 2006

short short post

:D happy morning-- two of my favorite bands have PVs out!!!! I'm so happy for them YES and it's one of my favorite songs, too! *extremely happy* well okay this came out a little while ago, but not too long!!! AGAIN one of my favorite songs 8DDD This made my morning happy ^^ xXTOCXx

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Friday, December 22, 2006

vent post of the week~

So... explanation for the last post -- I'm really sorry. I was extremely pissed off and didn't really care what came out of my mouth. My holiday was utterly ruined thanks to that. I could give a damn less about Christmas, I'm not even Christian and I don't need presents...the only thing about this month I was looking forward to was her and now she's not here. I don't want to even go outside anymore, or do anything. And it's pathetic, and it sucks. It's been like that for a while now. Really I don't blame anyone but myself, but there are outside reasons that are affecting my reactions lately. examples? A] idiots. Everywhere. Especially at my school. "OHNOES MY BOYFRIEND OF TWO DAYS FUCKED ME AND BROKE UP WITH ME BUT I LOOOOOVE HIM IM GONNA KILL MYSELF" .....you know what, please do. slowly. with a spork. (i never said yi was nice, mind you). And fucking christ if I have to deal with anymore idiots going "RUKI SAN EYE SHEE TEH EE ROO" at my school, I'm gonna freak out in the middle of the lobby. My 'friend' Paige (really she reminds me of an ex-friend of mine whom I loathe with deep and unrelenting passion) found out about my Jrock life and persisted to find out the names of some bands. Reguardless of my sometimes selfish nature (i try to keep as many fucktards out of the fandom as i can, there are enough in there as it is) I gave in and told her a few. So now she's ungodly obsessed with Ruki from Gazette and her fatlard retarded friend (who is kind of obsessed with me and it scares me to hell) likes Reita. I do'nt care if they like Jrock or whatever it's just that they annoy me in general. So piss off to them. B] mirrors. They make me sick and they make me cry and I never want to look in another full body mirror as long as I live. It only makes me feel guiltier and more hypocritical than I know I already am for constantly crying and complaining about how hideous I am without trying very hard to fix it. It's the sheer fact that when I do decide to attemt fixing it, something happens and I suddenly think "oh fuck it, it'll never work anyway" and promptly give up. C] home stress. With my dad losing his job soon and my mom in constant pain lately (she has muscle issues), everyone's always so entirely bitchy. I'm always getting yelled at and always screaming back, they've given up on trying to get me to settle down with my profanities (I have a terrible mouth, I must admit). Just an hour ago my mom and I had a huge cussing match, which, in the end, I won. D] Grades. Though the first semester was officially over for me on Tuesday, and despite I was exempt from all of my exams (which did lessen the stress, for which I'm extremely grateful), I've gotten letters from the school telling me I'm not getting credits for certain classes (even though I have a B or an A in every class). They were false alarms (thank god), but it still scared me to death, I almost had a panic attack. In other news I've discovered I'm an egotistical bitch. Which is interesting considering most people tell me I'm very sweet. Then again those are all my friends who know me underneath the easily-annoyed shell of angsty cussing dramatic rollercoaster that is my alleged life. Little do many people know that I'm not like myself at all, inside I'm a completely different person than the idiot I portray most of the time. It's like a double life...only both are very aware of themselves. Hmm... I haven't been on MyO in a while, and Momo-chan, dearest, I hadn't even realized you were in a relationship until now!! I had to go back and read into your archives because I was so confused! @___@ xXTOCXx ::edit:: I changed the profile above from the 'Smile Ichiban ni Onna' PV to one of my very favorite songs ever. I cry when I listen to it, if I ever get to see it live I probably won't make it through the introduction without bursting into tears. Beautiful, Duel Jewel, absolutely breathtaking...

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Why is it that EVERY fucking time I make plans, taking the care and effort to make them weeks or even MONTHS beforehand, they NEVER work. Someone always has to be an inconsiderate fucking WHORE and ruin them at the last GODDAMNED minute, after everything is carefully set in place and all the plans are made down to the last detail. EVERY FUCKING TIME. And every time it DOES happen, I end up getting WAY too upset, cry, and then start swearing that I'll never make plans again. Of course, I eventually do, and I end up getting ditched/fucked over YET AGAIN. I am so fucking pissed all I could do for the past two hours is cry and scream and cuss to my parents about how Hannah's sister is a selfish dumbass fucking bitch because she refuses to go 10 minutes out of her way to save my dad and me 2 hours of driving time and fucking GAS MONEY. Thus we probably can't get Hannah down here. NKLGL UGH I'm so disgusted with her sister and mom I can barely talk without tearing up and wanting to scream some very not nice words. I'm going to go before said not nice words spill out onto this page.

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Monday, December 18, 2006

happy post this time? :D

YAY HAPPY HAPPY NEWS 8DDD NO EXAMS FOR ALAYNAAA I have no tardies, an A or B in all of my classes, and no detentions/ISS/suspensions! So I'm exempt from EVERY exam :DD I'm soooo happy. I don't have to go to school tomorrow or Wed. because it's testing days, but I'm going tomorrow to hand out my Xmas cookies i made for people (hey man, my cookies own some ass, okay? don't hate.) And I'll just hang out in the Art room all day with friends who do have a test, since they only have to go to that period to take it then they can come back :) I'm bringin my portable DVD player and my Japanese horror movies xD funnn. OH and I sent out my Xmas gifts today!! Momo chan expect yours within the week!! It's nothing really special, but I hope you like it anyway D: *is a cheesey icky mofo* I'm tiiiiired, geez. Hannah is coming so soon. I couldn't be more excited! We have so much stuff planned (though she'll only be here a few days, 3 or 4...). We're going to the mall near my house because there is this REALLY REALLY beautiful vietnamese guy at the nail salon and we want to get our "nails done" xDDD Oh we're awful. BUT GOOD LORD HE'S GORGEOUS. Every time my friends and I pass it we'll glance at him and giggle like the teenage girls we are. He's caught us a few times XD!! And he smiled and I waved and he waved back *insane laughter* Such a cutie pie...yes. I'm hoping to buy purple hair dye. As much as I love shun and his sexy red hair, I'm getting sick of my OWN hair being red and blonde. Time for PURPLE and red and blonde xD Maybe black too. I need to dye my brown parts black =/ Hmmm I wanted white too...fuck I don't think I can find that anywhere *ponders* I'll have to ask my hairdresser, she's cool ;D Tomorrow should be great fun :D People love my cookies, so I usually get good reactions. I made two kinds, one from red velvet cake and one from devils food d( ^___^)b Have a great holiday season, everyone ~ xXTOCXx

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Saturday, December 16, 2006

current song:: Juicy - Koda Kumi

things im sick of: 1) My mom making it a point to harass me every day about how a)my friends are all freaks; b)my style/taste sucks; c)I'm a liar/obsessive weirdo 2) My 'friends' here in this abhorrent state DITCHING me all the time when they stay at my house for a night, eat the food I make them, and watch the movies I rented for them -- then cut out on the plans I wanted to do the next day (that I've been planning for a week and a half). 3) school in general. and all the idiots on my bus/in my classes. I can't fucking wait until Winter break -_- 4) My fat. Fucking HATE it. If I had the choice between now and anorexia, I'd choose the latter. this doesn't help matters. Fuck I feel REALLY fat now. >( goddamnit Kumi. xXTOCXx

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

kay so my parents bitched me out like BAD last night and changed my password so I can't get on the computer but i know my dads password so im on his account right now. This Friday Sarah and Paige are coming over and we're going to watch LOTS of Japanese horror movies and eat LOTS of junk food :D I can't wait. I want Chinese take out. Mmmmmm lo mein. these little fucking 12 year old skankmuffins on the bus are like hardcore christian right? I have NO ISSUE whatsoever with Christian people or any other religion for that matter. But these little bitches PISS ME OFF They are just IRRITATING and won't leave us alone!! They're always like "WE'RE CHRISTIAN AND YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE GOING TO HELL blah blah blah blah blah" and im like "IM ATHEIST YOU LITTLE CUNTS GO THE FUCK AWAY" I mean CHRIST. Shut the FUCK up. They screamed in my ear today ONCE AGAIN and usually i just ignore it but i fucking CRACKED I screamed at them something along the lines of "IF ONE MORE FUCKING LITTLE KID SCREAMS IN MY GODDAMNED EAR I'M GOING TO FUCKING BITCHSLAP YOU ACROSS YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE" of course, because I have awesome luck, the whole bus went quiet so that means EVERYONE heard including the bus driver. He likes me, though, so he didn't react. But all the little kids were like :x!!!! hahaa they shut up after that well....they didnt shut up but they stopped screaming. Oh yeah, Alayna wins. Stupid little fucks. HAHA Heather has this song called "I'm a Cunt" and they saw it and went "whats a cunt?" oh god. I lost all control. I was doubled over. It was hilarious. I hate those little punks. Fuck.. i have TONS of homework to do D: baibai xXTOCXx

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

im sorry i was gone all weekend momo i love you and i feel terrible for not being there i need your zip code to send you your christmas present... im not in a good mood thus not really giving a shit about spelling or punctuation or anything... so i apologize for any difficulty you may have reading this. why is it that every time i feel like utter and complete worthless GARBAGE and just want to lay in bed for a while, i have to go to school the next day? Cant i feel like a fucking screw up on a FRIDAY or something? At least then no one will be home to see me and i won't have to worry about stressing the next day. Christ.

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Thursday, December 7, 2006

current song: ABCs of Kinky Sex - Lords of Acid

Yeaaah so today I had my English exam. I could have been the first or second one finished, but the test wasn't timed and if you didnt finish in an hour and a half (thats how long each class period is) then you got moved to the library where you could continue your test into the next period. Well, needless to say, I did NOT want to go to the next period b/c I had gym, so I stalled like CRAZY. I made sure I wasn't finished in time by drawing on my pants, singing a really long song verbatim in my head, daydreaming, etc. Haha I win. I only managed to skip half of gym class (once i left the library I also stopped at every bathroom along the way and redid my makeup and whatever *sweatdrop*), but when I got there I had to sit out because I wore my big heels today and didn't bring my other clothes to dress out in. This other kid didnt dress out either, and normally we're forced to walk around the gym all period but the bleachers were pulled out today so me and that kid sat behind them because our teacher is an oblivious idiot. He is a druggie @___@ The kid, not the teacher, lol. So we talked about drugs a lot o____O;;; and drinking. I mentioned I didn't do anything but smoke normal cigarettes, of course, but we still talked all period. It was a straaaaange conversation. I have no desire to do any type of drug (well..I need to quit smoking, too *coughs*) Bahhh Spanish was fun, as always :) I love that class, but only because my teacher is really funny and a SMARTASSSS as long as you don't piss her off. And I have two friends in there who I actually don't secretly despise @__@ I hope next semester I have fun classes =/ Hannah is coming after Christmas!! I'm so excited We're planning on the 27th-30th maybe I dunno yet hahaha. But I'm just so happy to see her again. I miss her like crazy I was going to go to Fanime this summer but my parents are being whores and I can't ~_______~ I didn't talk to them for an entire day. I had better go, I'm exhausted and can barely make a distinguishable sentence anymore. xXTOCXx

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Sunday, December 3, 2006

   short short post :D

hahaha I wonder if I could pull off Hitsugi xDD NOTTTTTTTTT im so fluffy :x and my fucking eyes are too colored, I need contacts to cover up the blue when I do vk makeup D: fuck. Jrock + blue eyes = ROAR NO NO NO not to mention I'm not really that pretty d(*-* '')b what's funny is aside from the eyebrows and lipstick and eyeliner, that's my real face XD No white makeup or anything. Goddamn I'm pale :x wtf. hitsugi is gorgeous dammit. There goes one for me p(~o~'' ) grr. Why can't I be cute like Natsuki??? Dx We're going to take my dog to a big park soon :) and Hannah is probably coming to visit me this Christmas!! I'm so excited, I miss her so much. We can go to this nail salon in the mall where this ADORABLE vietnamese guy works. Oh my god he is TOO cute I want to hug him. He is really tall and thin and has longish hair to his shoulders he isn't like HOT but he's more cute. Like a puppy x] *hearts* a fluffy little puppy. I am making cookies again using confetti cake :D I sell them now at school, because everyone LOVE my white cake cookies. Everyone who tried one said they were the best ever x3 boosted my ego, hahaha. xXTOCXx

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