Friday, November 3, 2006

wow ummm ignore my last post, I'm sorry about that I was really fucked up on dentist drugs so it was like being drunk/high I'm reallyyyy sorry xD; *deletes it* My jaw hurts really bad. I was intending on going to school today but my mom said I should stay home, she'll just go get all my work I've missed the past 2 days -_- Next I need to get my surgery and braces and I'll be all done for dental work ;_; My Duel Jewel CDs will be coming soon :D I bought both versions and the dvd, all first press release. I can't wait until they get heeer. (Duel Jewel you had better love me for spending $40 on this xD) God my jaw feels like it's being run over by an 18-wheeler @@; Anyway...Dir en grey is doing an East Coast tour apparently (yay momo-chan, you should go!!) They will stop by the West US from what I hear, though, so I guess it's a both-coasts tour. If they come near me and I have the money thn I'll go, but I won't go out of my way to go to a dir en grey concert. momo, if you need any help and a live is near you I'll help out if I can :) I really want you to be able to go (I would go with you if it was possible lol) gah i better go, my teeth are screaming at me love you all xXTOCXx ::EDIT:: WTF HOLD UP http://www.bbmc.co.jp/music/dueljewel/Duel_disco/aisyu/oabb-30003-b_02.mp3 *rubs temples* THAT is one of the new DJ songs. Okay uhhh...it's really cute and all...and I'm not saying it'sa bad song, but that is just NOT Duel Jewel's sound. That is like Ancafe with Hayato doing vocals. I can't help but hope this is just a test of sorts with a new sound @@; http://www.bbmc.co.jp/music/dueljewel/Duel_disco/aisyu/oabb-30003-b_01.mp3 this one is more Duel Jewel-esque It's still a far cry from their normal stuff, but I suppose they are trying new styles out. I'm still in shock from the first sample. I really hope they don't start turning oshare-sugary oo; My favorite album was Lapidary (still is, in fact), so if you know that album then you can imagine what my brain is doing right now *insert animation of deflating balloon* ::EDIT2:: OH YEAH 8DD New theme. It's really hard to find Sadie pictures so there is no wallpaper yet ;( sorry guys. If you find any please PLEASE tell me so I can get it on here xD; Sadie is one of my favorite bands, they are great. Harry (HoA Harry) seemed really surprised that I knew who they were :O JPH was playing their CD at Sugoicon and when he saw me mouthing the words and mini-headbanging/tapping on the table he goes-- :O you like sadie??" me-- ":DDD Yeah!! They're one of my favorites!" and some little conversation ensued but it was really funny. Uhhh yeah i got off topic. apologies o-o; ::EDIT3:: so apparently Hannah and I are supposed to be on this TV show, I dunno. This guy from Sugoicon took our pictures and then told us they would be on this tv channel, and he gave us his website. We've looked at it but I don't know how to get info on that. click here Hmmm weird. Wonder if it was just come local channel or whatever, hehe. I just thought it'd be interesting to see a picture of me on TV. Unless, like, it sucked xDD Then I'd be pissed.

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Monday, October 30, 2006

SUGOICON 2006

So as opposed to last Sugoicon (when Déspairs Ray was there), this year was nothing -- but all in all I had fun. Mom and I woke up at 5:30-6:00 am and managed to get out the door by 7:00. We got to Kentucky 4 hours later, but we live in a different time zone in TN (central) so really it was about noon in Kentucky when we arrived. So when we finally got to the hotel where the con was being held (Holiday Inn lmao, but it was nicer than you'd originally assume). I had been texting Jen the whole way up and told her I'd be there about then, but she and the othes wouldn't be there for hours. I walked on inside (without registering yet because I didn't know where it was) and called Hannah, describing to her where I was so she could find me. I saw her walk around the corner towards me before she saw me and I shrieked and mauled her. I haven't seen her in MONTHS and was so excited I was shaking and almost crying (I'm such a girl haha). I kept hugging her and we eventually got over the the registering place, and I was shaking so hard I could barely write down my information needed for the badge, so the guy spelled my name wrong (My name: Alayna; his spelling: Alayana). It was okay though I don't mind. We grabbed her and Arielle's (Hannah's friend staying with us that night) suitcases and put them in my mom's car and she drove us to the hotel. It was the next building over, walking distance, luckily. Then once we knew where the room was she let us go back to the con. We immediately went to the vendor room (yay Kiku your favorite part lmao [/sarcasm]) and JPH was the first booth by the door, which is all good because that's the only place I was intending on buying stuff, considering I'm not much of an anime fan as much as I was when I was younger. I listened to Sadie play behind the counter and talked to Harry Lo a little bit (xD I can see your face Kiku. Yes I'm going to e-tease you through out this entire thing). I glanced around to see if Kailey was there but I didn't see her so I just continued to look through the CDs for a Duel Jewel album (after having every mp3 they've ever recorded -- and not buying ANY of it -- I feel pretty low. Thus I've vowed to buy them all ._.) and at other things. There wasn't much there, mostly Dir en grey stuff (like their new shirts which I don't like very much so I didn't buy them anyway) and Phantasmagoria and 12012. The only Duel Jewel merch I could find was The Birth, and since I intended on buying it, I grabbed it and held onto it while I stared at some other stuff. Anyone who knows me sohuld know that I'm the most indecisive person on the face of the planet, so I was always going back to that booth throughout the day and I'd stay around for about 15 minutes deciding whether or not to buy something xD; I looked up when I was getting ready to buy the CD, and I see this blonde head of hair behind another person looking at merchandise. I looked around the random person I didn't know and saw Kailey :D I said hi and at first she looked a little confused (it's okay hun I didn't expect you to recognize me xD I still love you) but after a moment she figured it out haha. After I bought the CD we wandered around and took pictures of people and eachother, some people wanted pictures of us, etc. etc. Like her, she was so cute I had to take her picture. You know what's strange? When you ask someone to take a picture of you with your own camera, or if someone asks you for your picture, and while you're doing your amazing little pose like 6 other people you've never seen in your life will stop and take your picture too @____@ It was slightly creepy but at least they didn't think I was burning their retinas xD like when we took this one: we asked some random person passing by if they'd take it for us, and a few other people with their own cameras were like "oh hold that pose!" oO;; wtf we were just sitting there. It wasn't that interesting @_@ It happened with this one too, except I took this picture haha. Then Anthony (Hannah's friend, he's like our own personal Chinese chauffeur lmao) came and we went to the Asian Buffet [long story short-- We were regulars when I still lived in KY. Male employees = fucking hot. The staff know us both by memory/face). I had lo mein, holy fucking shit I missed their lo mein. And their Mongolian Grill *is dead* ♥♥it's ungodly good. XDDDD Hannah absolutely failed at using chopsticks. Anthony and I were staring at her while she tried to copy how I was holding mine. And yet she still failed. I♥you Hannah rofl The manager of ther restaraunt was really friendly and loved to talk to my dad and is a very excitable little Chinese man :O hehe. He saw me and went "._. ...O_O...OH!!! HI!!! 8DDD Long time no see!!" and then continued to chatter on to me and then pat me on the shoulder and then go somewhere else xD; I loved that man, he's so nice and spazzy. I'm surprised he recognized me though ._. Oh and I was planning on going there at night, so I figured I'd change before going. But we ended up going around 1 pm, so we didn't change. You can't see it in any pictures I have, but I was wearing a tiny black/white striped mini skirt. I was also wearing white fishnets with ripped up black fishnets over top of them and my platform shoes. Plus Hannah was wearing an equally short skirt and a very visible garter (sp? blah). So you can imagine the looks we got when we were running around there, ne? hahaha we got "the look" about 40 times in an hour xD When we got back to the parking lot, I realized something. Only at an anime convention will you find at least 12 cars promoting yaoi, yuri, or hentai in general. I swear on my life I saw so many yaoi bumper stickers my head was spinning. So we continued to spaz around the con, taking more pictures. I thought the fountain was pretty and Hannah is a perfect little pixie so she looked cute next to it, ne 8D? We found our friend Miranda, but she didn't really talk to us much, haha. She was with a few other friends of hers cosplaying Dir en grey. Toshiya cos :D He was really nice and we ran into him a lot over the course of the day. I don't know how to spell it but I think his realy name was Roman or something xDDD Ignore Jen at the far right end, she wasn't supposed to be in it but she jumped in at the last second. Those two were funny and shared FVT stories with me, and apparently they know Kailey too (my god, you're a popular person, babe. haha) @@; Hannah and I went outside to have a smoke later on and saw them out there, apparently we all had cigarette cravings at the same time lol. Oh god but I'm NEVER smoking Cloves again, nasty ass cigarettes. We went back inside and went to the bathroom to fix my false eyelashes (they had shiny sticky jewels on them 8DD), and ran into Tori, whom I know over Myspace. ^that's her A little later we headed back the vendor room and I bought an 12012 shirt, then Hannah wanted to go see the Jpop band that was going to be there (Silly Stones and then another one named Mai). I went with her for a minute but they hadn't started the live yet so I left to go wait for Jen and the rest to show up. When they finally showed up I ran over and expected them to be at least excited but the enthusiasm was lacking, which was weird. We went to the live then a few minutes later and I found Hannah at the front and went up to her with everyone else behind me. I left after about ten minutes though because I really don't mind Jpop but I'm not into staying that long to watch it. Short video of part of the Silly Stones. My voice is annoying, I'm sorry. Later on that night I really wanted a cigarette so I went on a mission to find Toshiya-boy again. I was scared to bother him though so I sent Dolly over to get him and ask if he had a smoke. He was REALLY nice and was like "oh yeah just meet me outside." So we went out the front door and he came out a minute later with a pack of *dun dun DUN* Marlboros (THANK FUCKING GOD). I thanked him about 50 times and grabbed one. His gloves were making it hard for him to grab one and light his lighter though so I had to pull one out of the box, stick it in his mouth, and use my lighter to light it for him, haha. I didn't mind though, he was adorable xD He wasn't expecting the picture lmao he looks high or something xD; He was 16!!! I had thought he was like 18 or somewhere near there oO; Jen wanted to try my cigarette so I let her take a few drags, but she held it like a joint BAAHA niether of us smoke pot or anything, but everyone knows how you hold weed, right? I was laughing so hard xD We went back inside and sat down for a while, then those girls Toshiya-boy is friends with showed up and we all hung out for about an hour. Yay I loved her eyebrows haha, she did her makeup well. I want her lip ring D: He had left for a while and they stayed and we talked, then he ended up stumbling back over to us and he didn't even have to say it because we could see he was on the verge of being drunk. He did say "I'm a little tipsy" though haha. He had this kid on a leash: HAHA white-boy shounen ai xD and he had Kyo's abs o__O it was freaky. That kid had no shirt on under that button-up and I was like "holy shit". I don't like muscles, really, but he did have a nice stomach. SO then at 9:00 we went to the rave, it was actually a lot of fun and I danced. I never dance so it was a rare occasion. I stayed until 11:00 (Hannah went back to the hotel around 10:30 b/c of some drama that I'd rather not get into) then went to this Jrock panel thing, but I only went so that I could sit down and listen to them ramble on about bands and play some songs. I was REALLY pissed off though because Jen, Katie, Bunra, Dolly, and Rachel had all left without saying goodbye to me. I came out of the panel room and went into the rave to see if they were there but I only found Arielle, and she told me they had left a long time ago. Ooohhhh my god I was fucking livid by that point. I had to run next door to the hotel, grab a room key, and run back with Hannah to give it to Arielle because she was staying at the rave until it ended (3 am). My mom and Hannah and I all stayed up watching South Park and ordered cheese sticks from Papa Johns or some pizza place like that. I fell asleep before anyone else, though haha. ;D But I was the first of us 3 to wake uppppp muahaha. Hannah & Arielle slept forEVER xD The next morning we got an extra hour (Daylight Savings Time, whoo!). Hannah left around 11:00 and my mom dropped off Arielle at the con nextdoor around noon when we had to check out of the hotel. I was sad I had to leave, I had wanted to take Hannah's pass because she wasn't going back on Sunday even though she signed up for 3 days. :( Oh well. We then went off to go eat lunch with my mom's friend. Yes. That would by Skyline, everyone. It's an Ohio/Kentucky thing I believe, haha. And it actually tastes pretty damn good, believe it or not. Everyone together now: "HOORAY FOR CLOGGED ARTERIES!!" We left after that and got home around 5:00 central time (our TN time zone). the rest of the pictures~ Left=Bunra Right=Jen. Para-paraing like idiots in the middle of the atrium haha. Again I have a loud, obnoxious, annoying voice. I apologize. ew goddamnit I hate candid pictures ;_; *wasn't expecting it* Jen+Me o___O It WAS red-eye. Then i tried to fix it so Jen wouldn't look demonic, but uhhh..I fail xD I bought that Ramune and got a tiny sip >( jen, you fucktard. Toshiya-boy + Jen xD That was when he was "tipsy", if you can't tell. Tori and Jen By the end of the day, this is what I had bought (merchandise-wise) :D HAHA MY BOOBS EAT YO' HEAD, JEN XD *again, wasn't really expecting a picture* Ewwww, Bunra. Mcdonalds is bad for you. Kailey. I hope you don't mind me putting it up, sweetie :O Jen+Kai-chan Yeah they sewed that in a day. You whores *needs fabric* >( GODDAMNIT PEOPLE STOP TAKING PICTURES WHEN IM NOT READY FOR THEM HAHA funny story about this. I liked his hair and his shirt and wanted to take a picture but didn't want him to think I was trying to get masturbation-material like a crazed Harry-fangirl I've heard so much about o__O So I asked Jen to go do it for me and she held up the camera without even asking and he saw and held up 2 of those special fingers, but I called from behind him "HARRY, NO! You have to be CUTE!" so he looks at me, then at his fingers, chuckles a little, and puts one hand down ._.; I guess that counts? BAHA. He was really nice and talked to me a few times while I was at the booth. He seemed surprised when he found out I like Sadie oO; *shrugs* Rachel+Bunra. Those lovebirds are so mooshy-kissy-blah all the time xD It's cute sometimes though. Katie looked nice that day :)

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Saturday, October 28, 2006

I'm leaving in less than an hour I'm so excited, I woke up way before my alarm went off. In about 5 hours I'll be seeing Hannah again =D GYA im gonna freak out haha. Okay i better go get finished getting my mom up. And pack a few last minute things<33 xXTOCXx P.S. preview of my outfit: xDD yes that's all you get for now!! .......my leg(/skirt) o-o

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Friday, October 27, 2006

sugoicon tomorrow update with a full report on monday or sunday leaving tomorrow morning EARLY xXTOCXx

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

   Current mood:: exhausted/busyCurrent music::

Today wasn't that bad :D We had to take testing for the first three hours of school. Well, all of us sophmores did ;( It doesn't count against us, it's just to help us figure out what subjects we need assistance on or whatever. I finished both the Reading and English sections, I'm always good at that. I didn't finish the Science or Math though xDDD I'm horrible at math, not so good at science either. Anything with numbers basically e_e In Wellness yesterday we watched this movie "Bang Bang You're Dead". It was a showtime movie about school violence. It was actually a very good movie, I almost cried in part of it. You should see it (it's not a documentary, it's an actual movie). So today we finished the last 10 minutes of it and then went into the gym but we didn't have to dress out or really do anything if we didn't want to :D Kind of like a "free day" I guess? Because my teacher will be gone tomorrow and Friday he also gave us all a little baby cupcake LMAO. They were fucking adorable, I wanted to take a picture hahaha. I'm getting so confused in Spanish. Fuck. I have an A and was doing really well, but it's beginning to get more difficult. I got my first D in that class and I freaked. I have lots of homework to do for Spanish, speaking of which... Our bus stops twice at our apartments, once on the side with the Clubhouse and once on the other side. My apartment is in the middle so I can get off at either one. So Heather and her sister and a bunch of 6th graders and I all ran off the bus and like raced eachother, in a way, to the clubhouse to raid them of their free food xDD they always have cookies and candy and tea and coffee and we, being total immature losers, always jack them ;) I can't wait until Sugoicon, I'm so excited to see Hannah and everyone. I could care less about the convention (except JPH of course. Hello wasting $90+ on Jrock merchandise xDD). I just want to see them. And the con gives me an excuse to dress up XD YAY I'm debating on whether or not I wanna wear my dreads/braids...*ponders* Since I have my long dark underlayers my dreads and braids look really strange, so I may have to snip my underlayers a teeny bit. Maybe just a couple inches or so. Speaking of which, I'll have to go make more braids tonight. ugh shit I also have to finish my art project here is how far I am as of now: *le sigh* The rest will take me hours ;( Then I need to work on my Spanish homework, which will probably take about an hour. And THEN I need to do braids and dreads if I have time. I still have a lot of hair left, I can probably cover my whole head with them if I make enough ._. I'm eating candy as of now >:3 "stolen" from the clubhouse bahaha. Smarties, starbursts, and skittles. keheee and I wonder why I'm getting fat XDDD On Halloween I'm plannning on going with a bunch of people to see Saw 3. My dad has to take us though because it's rated R and they won't let us in. I think Brianna's boyfriend is 18 but I believe it has to be a parent or guardian ne? Bahhh oh well, he wanted to see it anyway lol. My Natsu (mp3 player) is breaking DD: Slowly *cries* I need to get a tiny screwdriver and pull it apart tonight as well to fix the buttons ;__; Goddamn it all. Tonight is gonna be busy Dx itaiii *holds head* I'm so sick of icky otaku. I know I know, I'm on "Myotaku", right? I joined about two years ago (on a different account), I've since gotten over my general "obsession", in lack of a better term, with anime. I still like it, just not as much. And I don't mean anything bad towards you guys at all, just the people at my school. I call them Narutards. I mean no ill will towards you if you like Naruto, this is merely a name for the idiots around my school. They make me want to choke babies :) blah. I had better go before I waste any more valuable "homework-doing time" *sighsss* xXTOCXx

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Saturday, October 21, 2006

   current song: Kaleidoscope - KayaCurrent mood: tired/blank

:) So this morning I forgot to turn off my alarm clock and woke up at 5:30. I sat up in bed, blinked a few times, and looked down at the clock -- all the while trying to remember if I should be getting up or not. I finally figured out "oh shit, it's Saturday" and turned off my alarm and went back to sleep. I woke up a few more times but eventually got back to sleep after that too...*yawns* I've only been awake for about half an hour. haha. I love this song *does a tired half-dance* the lyrics are like pedo-in-a-box though heee. Here is a translation of it: Kaya - Kaleidoscope Welcome home, my darling little boy Stay by my side forever from now on Let's keep the door locked and resume our dream Now I'll torment you insanely yet sweetly A kaleidoscope starts revolving I'll devote my love by putting dazzling rosy ecstasy I don't need anything any more I need nothing but you The world exists only for us The world nobody can interrupt us Sweet punishment for the lost child I've never forgotten your voice, smell, habit, gesture, and taste A kaleidoscope starts revolving I'll devote my love by putting dazzling rosy ecstasy I don't need anything anymore I need nothing but you Let's be isolated and fall asleep without anyone's interruption by kissing the nape of your neck for an eternal engagement No one can stop us I don't let anyone stop us. yeah, after reading those I was like :O "Kaya...what do YOU do in your spare time?" but really it's a beautiful song, and I respect Kaya so much for what he does. He tries to break the barrier between genders and taboos in his lyrics (and appearance *coughfakebreastscough*). I was on the phone with Hannah last night for a while, it was pretty funny, we talked about a lot of stuff. After I got off the phone with her my friend Lauren called (she lives in cali.) :D We talked for a few hours as well, I didn't end up sleeping until nearly 2 am xD; oops. We're such nerds, me and Lauren. We were geeking out over hot guys all night. *small laugh* it was fun though, I like being a dork sometimes. We kept finding hot guys on the internet and IMing eachother the links back and forth while we were on the phone xD; She heard me die quite a feww times~ ;] I can't wait until next weekend, yesterday i kept thinking /saying "one more week until Sugoicon :DDDD" I'm just so excited. not about the con, really, I only want to go to that to raid JPH and see kailey. I'm more excited about seeing my friends, I miss them dearly ;o; Oh look, the song changed :O now it's "death" by Rentrer en Soi hahaa OH and yesterday-- that was Aki from SADIE. not SID :/ unless I'm really REALLY mistaken and they are miraculously the same band somehow xD;;;; Blahh I really really need a concert fix ;'( but not HERE. I want to go to fanime next year. My parents were willing to let me go to PMX next week but my plans changed. and PMX is in fucking LA, Fanime is in San Jose (or San Francisco, I don't recall, but they're close anyway). And my uncle lives near San. Francisco, plus my brother offered to go with me to PMX so maybe I can get him to go to Fanime. He won't like it, and he'll be freaked out, but he won't interfere much. He's just there to watch after me (like a baby *rolls eyes*). But I understand, my parents don't know Kiku and Shou and all my friends in Cali. so I understand why they'd be worried about it. and my brother is a Sensei so he's well-suited to protect me if anything were to happen. I'm hungry :x I wish we had cereal >:O we seriously need to go shopping. Like today. I'm thinking at Sugoicon I'll buy that Dir en grey shirt I had to give up last year, and then probably a new Duel Jewel shirt and maybe another Duel Jewel CD if I can :3 If I don't get the CD then I'll go forrrr...hmm maybe I should get merch. from a band I don't have merch. for already xD I have my signed D'espa poster (in a frame. Because those sigs and those fingerprints aren't going anywhere O_O;) and my signed picture with them AND a Tshirt. I also have a Duel Jewel poster, shirt, and I just ordered their newest album which will be released next month ($40 @____@ for the album. By the way.) and I'm going to be buying a Dir en grey shirt. AND i already have an X Japan/hide shirt. Sooo...maybe I should get like...12012 merchandise or PLC or something =/ hmmm...*ponders* Or maybe Phantasmagoria XD gah who knows what I'll do. OH BKLGNLDFG If I see a CURE magazine or SHOXX with Duel Jewel on it, I'm SO getting it. :DDDD that's the end of that. And if I can I want to buy a Schwarz Stein something or other...I have a flyer from Japan from an 03 event for them already, but it's really tiny and I want something bigger @__@ I should have like...a little more than $100 by Sugoicon (I'd have a lot more but I bleached my hair and that was $50 xD;). And I need to set $40 aside to send in for that Duel Jewel album i ordered, so I should have $60-$70 or so e_e *sighs* not a lot, but I guess it works better than nothing! *melts onto the floor in rage* >( I can't believe I'm missing them RIGHT this very second. They are in Texas. with my friends Kira and Kate. Holy. Shit. nklgnfklgnfdlgndflsgns I was supposed to give Kira $10 to buy me a photo set and get it signed but I forgot *smacks self* *siiigh* oh well. I'm sorry 12012 D: (and HIROAKIIIII TT__TT) Keeeehehehe. Imagine what my parents will say if I bring this home XDDDD They've already seen like.. all my grotesque bands (Dir en grey and stuff), and all the really lolita bands (Malice Mizer, Schwarz Stein, etc.) and then a couple indies bands (like Duel Jewel...;_; but they probably won't be indies for long....). But they've NEVER seen anything like PLC HAHAHA!!!! I was gonna go see YURAsama and Seek in FL last June but my fucking dad changed plans at the last minute. THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS!!!!! It's my biggest peeve ever. I HATE upon HATE having my plans changed. Last Sugoicon was a complete MESS thanks to Jen and Katie changing out plans at the last minute, and I almost didn't even go (thank god I did, though). so there's some dumb rumor going around that Meever is going to be at next years PMX. I totally don't believe it at all, PSC (his record label) are really tight wads about their bands. other bands of theirs? Gazette, Alice Nine, I'm sure you guys know them too, right? Yeah and HOW many lives have they done in the US? Right. None. that's PSC for you. xXTOCXx

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Friday, October 20, 2006

Ahhh so today was good, I suppose. Long -- but okay. So something slightly embarassing happened **WARNING:: IF TALK OF FEMININE ISSUES DISTURBS YOU -- YOU'RE A DORK. STOP READING** I was laying on the floor and resting my head on my friend Sarah's lap and talking to a few other people (we sprawl out on the floor in the main lobby before school starts every day), and these girls I know from my Wellness class run up to me and one whispers "You have blood on your pants." me: O_O "Really? ahh fuck." *heads to the a mirror* Turns out it wasn't like BAD, just since I was laying down and had my leg bent and up, you could see ._.; Shit. I was happy they told me, though, I'd rather have someone tell me then to not know e_e luckily i was wearing a skirt over my pants today AND a hoodie so when i stood up it wasn't noticable. I brought my art project of Shun home to finish over the weekend. I ran out of supplies so I have to buy more this weekend too D: craaap. If I didn't have PE ever again I think I'd be pretty happy in school xD I have better days when I have health instead of PE. And today we had the campus police officer (forgot his name) come in again and it was a big talk on like Marijuana and Meth and whatnot e_e *sigh* I hate the drug talk lol. And there was this video and they showed someone shooting up (as in sticking a needle in their arm) and I wasn't expecting it and I FLIPPED out and shrieked and whirled around in my chair to look away. I am scared TO DEATH of syringes, I almost started hyperventilating just thinking about it. Like dead fucking TERRIFIED. Normal needles don't bother me as bad, just the medical syringes, even LOOKING at one just laying there will send me into a panic D: It's psychological, of course, as are all fears -- but it's not something I see changing. And that's why I have to be HEAVILY sedated for simple dentist work. I can't imagine how they're going to manage getting that IV in my hand when I have to go get my oral surgery (I just winced typing that word *shudder*)... So I've planned out all my Xmas presents I'm going to make people x3 MOMO-CHAN!! I want to make you one :D I just need a LOOOOOOOOTTTTTT of fabric @_@ Like, this will probably drain me after Sugoicon xD; My mom has an entire room full of fabric, like 20 years worth of fabric, but I need felt and I don't know if she has all the colors I need. I'm not gonna say what the gifts are because Momo-chan you can't know your surprise ;DDD I'll have to work my ass off starting in early November and a couple may be late because I have to send them to places like California and Michigan (possibley Japan as well if my friend Nicole isn't back home in Michigan by then). @_@ But it will be fun 8D Nowww I think I'll go... there really isn't much else to talk about ^_^; here, again, a picture: Akiiiiii :D He is SO gorgeous, don't you think? Sadie is an interesting band, my friend introduced them to me a couple of months ago. I enjoy them a lot :D They're really thrashy metal, and I haven't listened to a lot of that in a while. Not since Clever Sleazoid upset me @_@; (it reminded me too much of Slipknot >P ew) xXTOCXx

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

argh

I have a new layout (duh). It's Kaya, ex vocalist of Schwarz Stein. He's one of my heroes. Hannah showed me one of his diary entries one day -- and I, having no prior knowledge of Schwarz Stein or Kaya at all, fell in love with him. He's such an insightful person and I read so many of those entries before I even saw a picture of him or heard Schwarz Stein's music. He's just a great person and he seems so sweet. Not to mention Schwarz Stein is great ;D and Kaya's solo project as well. And I was never one to like synthesizers, I prefer when people play their own instruments, but I still love it. So Die dyed his hair black. Yes folks, Dir en grey's very own lead guitarist. No more red. I was in such shock, that's EXACTLY like shun dying his hair all black or something. Like, when people think of Die, they think "red", or at least I know I do. And now I'm like "what...the hell...happened" And you can say "oh you're just materialistic", psh whatever I don't care, everyone is at some point about some things. And that's not even the point, nor does it hold much relevance to my point. I'm not happy about the changes with Dir en grey, but I'm not going to complain for hours on end about it because it's not like I can change them, this is the direction they're going, so be it. I'll still love the music I always have loved. Cage, S, Child Prey, Pink Killer, Akuro no oka, Embryo, FILTH, Mazohyst of Decadence, etc. etc. *shrug* But I almost draw the line at Shinya not shaving. THAT makes my eye twitch. o_o; anyway I was expecting today to suck, because I thought we had PE, but it turns out we had a guest speaker for health, I was so relieved I could have cried. As I've said so many times before, I hate PE so much it actually DOES make me cry, and it's not just me being lazy (though I admit I don't enjoy the physical activity much). I hate people looking at me and being the center of attention, I hate it more than almost anything. I'm only doing this to graduate high school and I'm only participating as much as I am so that I can get into the college I want to get into. If I had my choice, I wouldn't take another day of PE ever again. I'd go back to the Aikido dojo downtown, and take my physical activity there. I am so disgusted by kids these days. I hate being thought of as like all of them, how they are. (okay not all but most) Most assume I'm immature because I'm 15, and I can understand why, but I don't like it. I'm disgusted seeing 15 year old girls trying to get pregnant, not caring about school and themselves, being selfish beyond imagination. It makes my stomach turn. So my bus is fucking crazy o_o;. we always have screaming and people throwing paper (or on one occasion, ketchup packets...-_-) and books and this girl today got hit with paper by her brother and took off her belt and jumped over the seats and started hitting him with it. My mouth fell to the floor and everyone either reacted like I had or was laughing too hard to breathe. She didn't hurt him, he was laughing so I wasn't worried really. It's fun sometimes but sometimes I'd really just like to sit without being bothered. I'm a total loser and was writing on the window in the condensation in Japanese, and this girl saw and asked me to write her something and she'd pay me. Of course I didn't take money because I mean it's not that big of a deal, I just wrote what she wanted me to write and gave it to her e_e This ADORABLE fucking 7th grade Korean boy rides my bus, me and my friend Heather always giggle about him because he is the cutest little creature in the state of TN xDD He was writing in Korean on the window and I was in the background going ";o; AWWWWWW" but I made sure he wouldn't hear me xD;; and one day about a month ago i was talking about my korean pop or rap or whatever on my mp3 player (Super Junior and Seo Taiji and stuff like that) and he taps me on the shoulder and goes "you have korean songs?" and i was like "oh! yeah :D" and he smiled and goes "oh". XD It was so cute, he has the TINIEST bit of an accent sometimes but otherwise you'd think he was born here. Of course that's only from what I've heard, he doesn't talk very much. Yesterday I got in lots of fights with my parents, I've been really bitchy lately though so it's partly my own fault... but I'm so sick of ending up crying all the time. I called Hannah but her phone was busy so I hung up. She called me back about 5 minutes later though, and I had been crying so my voice was cracking still but she didn't assert it much, she knew how to make me feel better and just started blabbering on about Kaya and her day and her work and let me listen. I caught myself laughing a lot and she made me feel so much better. She had to get off the phone about an hour and a half later but I felt a lot happier, I miss her so much. My eyes were sore and so was my throat, but I was so exhausted so i just fell asleep. Moon Child hates me. I don't know why my DVD burner/copier suddenly started hating me too, but it did. I burned a couple more copies of it (one for a friend and one because my old copy got scratched up) and the original copy of it that I ordered from Netflix worked fine, but the copy was just fucked up the ass. I was SOO pissed off, I've killed about 6 DVD-Rs on that goddamned movie. Fuck you Gackt and Hyde and your fucking vampire movie >:O ..........okay i didnt mean it *hugs nonexistant Gackt and Hyde* umm O_O here have a shitload of pictures because I'm still bored. YOU BETTER KEEP SHAVING, MISTER >:O!!!!! Just for my Momo-chan (and because it's damn hot ;O) Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Schwarz Stein was sponsored by Mana ;) yep. Yeah I'll go now :x *saunters off* xXTOCXx

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Current song:: Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns
Current mood:: nostalgic

I stayed home again today I'm not worried about school, I'll just call my friend Sarah and get any notes and assignments for Spanish and I'll be okay ;( I was up until 4 am last night throwing up and crying @_@; and all because of my period. Yes that's right, get over it, I said it >:O I started my period yesterday, I've been waiting for a week and BAH there it is =_= No woner I've been crying over such stupid things these past few days, haha. I always get REALLY nauseous for some reason, I never get cramps, just really sick. I woke up late this morning anyway, around 6:45, which is about 2 minutes later than when i have to leave. And my mom had woken me up, and she has to go to work when I go to school, and I usually wake her up whlie i'm getting ready for school in the morning...so I felt kind of bad. but she said it was okay and left to get me some medicine and just went in a little bit late, so I feel better now. Thank you meds. besides, I have to finish my English II project ._.; It was due today and I didn't finish yet, so god the agony from last night is dumb luck *sighs* And I have PE today too, tomorrow is a guest speaker. I hate PE so much, it makes me feel so vulnerable and I know I look stupid and it's like torture. I hatge exercising in ANY form in front of people. I can do it if I know no one is watching me but I just hate being watched by people and the problem is I draw a lot of attention as it is ;_; Let's face it, I look a little different than the majority of my school -_-; Sometimes I enjoy it but sometimes it's such a pain in my ass because I don't like attention that much. Sometimes I'd just prefer it if no one could see me and I could go around doing whatever I want without worrying about people looking at me. I'm always so paranoid about messing up or looking stupid -- and I wish I weren't ;( Okay enough of that I really feel so bad about my Japanese. Since I have to memorize all this Spanish to fucking graduate high school, I can't practice Japanese as easily anymore. And I need help too, because particles and sentence structure kick my ASS. Is it horrible that I'm angered by all the fucky immature otaku in my school thinking they know Japanese? I can't help it, one of my BIGGEST peeves in the world is people pronouncing Japanese wrong and them thinking they're doing it right and are amazingly cool. I swear if I hear "watashee wah namay wah ____ desoo" someone is going to feel the wrath of an angry bleach blonde Jrock fan =_____= I'm a bitch, I warned you guys. I seem cruel sometimes but I just don't deal with morons. Some people don't like me for it but they can bite me, if they don't like me I don't care :) Simple as that. Hmmm Sugoicon is in two weeks. I was going to cut my hair this weekend, then dye it (red/neon green/purple) and spike it for the convention, but I don't want to ruin my platinum hair I don't think. So maybe I'll lay off dying it for a month or so =/ I still have tons of my red dye left, and I don't feel like buying my other colors right now. e____e Besides my hair looks better down than in liberty spikes I think. I got two of my Jrock posters I bought :) Well they're more flyers than posters. i bought a Schwarz Stein one and a D'espairs Ray one from an online friend named Anastasia (she's a sweetie). I was so excited when my mom walked into my room and gave me a big envelope from her o^-^o I also ordered a signed Shun picture of him grabbing himself and stucking his tongue out in this HiLARIOUS expresson from Kailey xDDD Oh and a Duel Jewel flyer from her as well :) She is sending it out today, she just got my payment ^_^ I'm so excited. Yesterday was weird... after dinner my dad made me put his plate in the dish washer. I have this horrible thing about dishes and old dish water and whatever. I almost always throw up or feel like it when I have to touch them. My dad's plate was gross, needless to say, and I kept gagging whenever I touched it. He kept yelling at me for it and I told him i was trying but it was really disgusting. I mean I can't help that it makes me sick!!! Then he told me if I throw up I have to clean IT up. What the fuck, okay not that I'm going to do that in the kitchen (nasty, bathroom is close and I'm not retarded enough not to run in there) but that was just MEAN. He kept yelling at me because I was having trouble touching it and i kept gagging. So when I got done I was really mad at him and I went in my room. Then he called me back out (mad at me...AGAIN) and told me to help put up things from dinner. And I usually do without them having to tell me, because I'm always done eating first since I don't eat that much. I came out and wouldn't talk, I just took a plate off the table and started to turn around but my dad goes "Don't try to act all 'hard' around me" I HATE IT WHEN HE SAYS THAT It's like he's telling me I'm a fake and I'm trying to act all badass I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT how DARE me tell me that, I was upset. I fucking HATE it when he says that - it makes me so upset!! Of course I didn't entirely handle it the best way either... I threw the plate in the sink and went to the fridge to make room for the extra food, and started throwing away all the condiments we hadn't used for a while or didn't need. And then I went back in my room and shut the door and turned on one of my Dir en grey CDs. (God I miss all their old songs by the way.) ugh and I cried. It was probably half PMS half just being plain angry at my parents for laughing at me being upset. They always think it's funny when I'm upset like that, and it's just mean. I did some of my homework at my desk and got even more frustrated because I kept mixing up my Spanish with Japanese AGAIN so I kept screaming and crying harder at it and ended up throwing my pencil at the wall and just shoving in a Duel Jewel DVD instead ._. .... Hayato's voice helped, watching Shun's solos and Natsuki jumping around stage. I sat on my floor, leaning against my bed, and watched. When they started playing Tsuki to Tawamure I started crying again, but only because that song is just so beautiful, it's always been one of my favorite songs ever. Speaking of Duel Jewel, I ordered their new release on CDJapan :) Well my friend Crystal ordered it for me but I'm sending in the payment, she just used her account and added it to her basket for me. It's $40, i ordered both versions of their CD and a DVD comes with one of them. I have 5 weeks to send in the payment so I should be safe... I just won't spend much at Sugoicon, I'll buy a new Duel Jewel shirt and maybe that Kyo shirt I had to trade for the D'espairs Ray poster last year... My mom owes me $90 for my good grades last semester so I should be okay. I just won't get my hair cut next weekend, no big deal. I can wait to do that. I have $50 stashed away for concert emergencies, and I'll be stashing $50 a month at least from now on. That way if an emergency live comes around (i.e. if duel jewel comes to the US again or maybe if D'espa comes back or something) I'll have money saved so I can go. And I have enough money for registration to Sugoicon already. I should be okay :) plus I should get $20 this Saturday from my dad. Yeah I figure I'll be good... I can't wait to see Hannah, I miss her so much And Dolly, I need to see her. She's been through a lot lately and since she doesn't talk to me much anymore I didn't even know about it. Jen and Katie...I don't know i'm still kind of mad at them for different reasons...but I'll be nice because they didn't mean to hurt me in particular or anything. Besides I know they miss me and I still sort of miss them... Maybe I'll buy a new poster too :D A new Duel Jewel poster to add to my wall, maybe? *ponders*... I haven't listened to Malice Mizer in such a long time =/ hmmm...I remember when I heard Syunikiss, my first MM song ^^ I fell in love with it. I remember a lot of my first bands, because that was a big turning point in my life. .....*trying not to laugh*...xD I can't help it. Yoshiki is a good guy, I think, but this picture makes me giggle. I'm sad I missed him at Otakon =/ I know it was a ONCE in a lifetime chance, I mean he was the drummer and song writer for a JrocK LEGENDARY band. The beginning of Visual Kei. He seems like and intense guy to work with but I'm sure he's nice when the time calls for it lol. oh and if you're wondering -- yes I am spamming you with pictures as of now :) Awwww xD I forgot I had this picture. It's so cute. (It's Sakito and Yomi, in case you couldn't see very well, I know it's blurry) GYAAHAHAHAHA They are SO cute xDD I need my group of freaky friends :O I miss fucking around in front of a camera with them, video or still. The general public was hilarious to watch he reactions of, lol. And I was never afraid to have fun in front of them, we're crazy and I know I make them laugh as much as they make me laugh, so I know that I won't look stupid to them. I miss them with all my heart, and even if that's not wise, I can't help it. I would move back in an instant, to be honest. I would leave everyone behind here, I personally don't really like anyone here @_@; I mean a couple people aren't whiney worthless idiots (like my friend Sarah at school), but I miss my best friends. That seemed so long ago D: (Yes my ugly face is blocking the right side of the frame XDD I wasn't supposed to be in that picture but someone had bad aim). That's my dad in the background O_O; Yes, his hair reaches his waist. Hmmm...maybe that's part of the reason I don't attract guys much xD; I miss Hannahhhh *cry* She's staying in my hotel with me for sugoicon, she's always such a good friend...even if Jen still hates her -_-; I love Hannah, she calls me whenever she gets the time and she's thoughtful. No matter what. gNLKGNSKLD wow this is long enough. I'll leave now ._. baibai xXTOCXx

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

okay SO I spent 5 1/2 hours in a salon yesterday. from 12:30 to 6:00 To bleach my hair x] I put it up in the pictures up there *points to bio* I haven't been blonde since early August so I'm still kinda like "WTF" when I pass a mirror xD; and even my natural blonde isn't this light, I have red-blonde hair (yay I'm Irish to the core bitches >D ) My hairdresser rocks. She said next time I come in to cut it (next weekend most likely) she can lighten it more for me if I want free of charge :D I just can't tell anyone that goes there :x so SHHHH lmao o^-^o I like my hair light like this. I just have to keep my complexion light because if I get flushed it's more noticable with light hair :x uh oh...in PE I'm gonna look like shit xD; I need to get a note that says I can't run anymore :O I had an asthma attack on Thursday in pe <.< *coughs* And I loathe running. I can't stand it. I hate kickball more than running. I'd rather run 3 laps than play a game of kickball. ew. now I must go do stuff for school :D bye all xXTOCXx

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