Thursday, October 12, 2006

gah really late post, apologies. Duel Jewel site update!! Wow they have changed so so much over the years ;( Not a bad thing, just sometimes I miss them back in their early years. Back in 03 is when I discovered them but they had only been around for a couple years prior to that. I hope they don't get too busy to come see me us!! Shun's new style. If you know the band, and you look at his pictures from wayyy back, you'd really know how different this is for me. Looking at him at first I almost didn't even RECOGNIZE him. The musical styles have changed slightly, but not in any negative ways. They still bring more emotion to me than anything or anyone else. Wow...I'm just lost for thought =| I can't even believe it's them. It's insane how much change they've gone through, how grown up they all are since they first came here in 2002. speaking of Shun I brought home my mosaic today to finish more of it because tomorrow is our last day and I have been working on it for HOURS and I'm barely close to being finished. Bad quality. But it's the best pic I can take. Obviously his hair is being a pain in my ass. I broke his beautiful face ): Why do cameras always make the picture look fat? D: They also have a new video up... wow they're getting along so well... Setting my selfish worries aside, I'm so happy they're moving up in the music world. They must be so excited. They'll always bring tears to my eyes no matter what, they brought me through the roughest times I've ever had and even though it was just them doing their job, and they don't even know I exist, I feel I owe them every bit of my support for everything they made me feel. For five normal, yet still amazingly talented boys....no, men -- they still make my heart jump. This post wasn't even going to be about Duel Jewel but I'm checking my livejournal friends at the same time and a couple close friends (also die hard DJ fans) posted about the updates. Sorry guys, I try not to post big rambles about bands a lot =/ Hmm...I hope this doesn't change them, I was in love with their personalities from the start, after years of observing them and how they acted towards friends who saw them (I have lots -_-;) and everything, I at least know the general outlooks of how their minds work. Hahaha Shun is such a cow XD He eats absolutely EVERYTHING he can get his hands on. Love that guy~ What a computer nerd x] WHOA i just noticed he had 13 piercings :O thats EXACTLY how many I'm getting. God the irony of that made me smile. xD pitiful.... yes you get to read my commentary on their updated profiles. Deal >:P ............I take that back. YUYA....is the dork. *smacks forehead* a few examples why? Favorite animal¡§Anything that's alive (-_-;....wow Yuya. You intelligent guitarist, you.) Merit¡§Beautiful and intelligent since birth. Flawless. A man of looks and legend that will be completed by fear. (....*head+desk*....he amuses me to no end) Favorite type¡§Sexy dynamites Hated type¡§yellow tambourines (...uhh..I don't even know HOW to respond to that xDDD) Yeah well... their new single is coming out :( I have to buy it Shit I need my money, parents!! I get about $90 for my grades being good and money for doing chores >:( And I need to get my hair cut and bleached, buy my neon green and neon purple hair dye, and buy the hair spray I need for liberty spikes (...Sugoicon will be fun xDDD). Yes. I will have yellow/red/purple/green liberty spikes. If all goes my way and I get the money I need. -___-; I'm done now I promise. I had other points to get to... uhhh here you go I hate PE. the end :D xXTOCXx

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

bahhh So I stayed home yesterday. Something about having something stuck in an oil gland in my eye or whatever. I didn't listen much to what the doctor said, I just take the meds and go about my business. I ate so much fucking junk... ugh Blah. Way too much shitty food in my house, no wonder I'm getting beyond fat. Ookay so I have to make up a Spanish test I missed yesterday. I'll have to go in on Friday morning before school starts (I hope our bus isn't late for some reason) and do it. I heard it's easy...hopefully ): Umm... Nothing really happened today. My eye is bugging the hell out of me, I fucking hate allergies. I'm always tired because of them too (how ironic as soon as I typed 'allergies' an allergy commercial came on =/) My eyes look so enormous @_@; And yes, I draw on my eyebrows. I happen to have translucent eyelashes/brows and you can't see them unless I put on mascara and eyebrow pencil. Bahh yes I am spamming with pictures @_@; Ummmm here have more Aren't they adorable :)? sorry, I know it's huge e_e I can't resize...dad's computer = no photoshop... Daigo Stardust and Meever love. Hahahaaa. I really do love Miyavi. I admit it with no shame xD I love him to death. He is hilarious and I love his voice...it's so strange :O Lately I've been writing in a notebook. Like...I never keep a journal because I don't like to write things on a schedule. But lately I've just needed to and I'll sometimes write things in it several times a day. Reading back on it is interesting... Hmm... I have nothing to do but ramble. Sorry guys ;( I have a dentist appointment on Halloween -_- Thank you mom. Appreciate it. I wouldn't mind except I have to be heavily sedated to be at the dentist, I have severe panic attacks every time I go. So they have to give me hard drugs and I usually end up sleeping nearly 10-12 hours. So to hell with anything if my friends' Halloween party is actually on Halloween. If it's the weekend before Halloween I'm screwed too because I'm going to Sugoicon that weekend *sighs* I swear...I hate anime conventions. I like concerts. anime conventions WITH concerts. That is the only convention I'll go to. I can't stand crazy otaku (sorry guys xD;). I just can't deal with obsessive "sesshie" fangirls screeching about in-you-yasha (everyone around here says it like that). And blahhh I always go into bitch-elitist-mode -_-;;; Plus I have this terrible tendancy to flaunt myself around people I dislike. And there are gonna be quite a few people like that at Sugoicon. I am the epitome of a bitch in those cases and it sucks but that's how I am *shrugs* So no one wants that. Random picture. Aren't they cute? ^_^ I don't know who they are lmao I just remember my friend Joey (adorable little Korean friend) sent me it about a year ago. haha. Yeah I should go now. I have nothing of particular importance to say :x xXTOCXx

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

its morning... i dont want to go to school... i feel like shit my left eye is swollen and sore (I don't know why, it's been like this for two days but it's really bad today) I am SO tired my whole body feels like it weighs 800 pounds... And my head hurts. And I keep coughing. Ugh god I just wanna stay home and sleep for a few more hours. [/complaints] xXTOCXx

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006

le sigh D:

Yay I missed the bus today hahaha. I was with Heather and we both missed it. Woopsie O_O; So we got a ride home with her dad ^^ He was really funny. Hmmmm... Parent Teacher conferences are on Thursday. I am doing good so I'm not worried *yawns* I don't have school Thursday OR Friday :D I've been exhausted for days. Scratch that. WEEKS. I had a terrifying nightmare a few days ago...like, Stephen King or Saw status horrifying. One part there was this bathtub and this lady sleeping against the edge of it, and it was a worms eye view, like if it had been a camera itd be looking up from the floor. And I saw blood start to bubble over the top of the tub and these dark blue-grey rotted hands clamp over the sides and this head of knotted black hair rise up over the edge. And the hands wrapped around the womans face, more like clamped. Like really suddenly. She couldn't scream, it was muffled behind the hands. The vision of the dream kept snapping back and forth between these really gross images. Like the hands that had clamped around the woman, then to those same hands gripping eyeballs from the bottom of the blood-filled bathtub, and more I don't remember. Then it snapped to the tub being clean and the woman showering in it, but the spout was shooting out streams of blood all over the place in random directions and the woman just kept washing herself with it, getting it in her mouth and eyes and nose and ears and all over her. The wall on the far side of the bathroom was not there and it was facing the horizen, and the sun came up. And when it was up, everything stopped. The blood turned to clear water, the bathroom that was once all wooden and torn up and moldy was back to white, sparkly, tile and porcelain. Earlier on I was chained to wall (but it wasnt ME, i was in another body, you know?) and she had found me and I told her to get away because it was haunted or something and she wouldnt believe me so I toldh er to spend the night there to prove it. After everything turned back to normal in the end, she told me I was crazy and tried to leave me behind chained to the wall. I didn't see this dream from first person perspective, it was like an out of body experience kind of dream. There was a LOT more dream than that but that's the part most vividly encripted into my brain. *shudders* Now I have to go clean and nap. I'm SO sleepy. xXTOCXx ::EDIT:: DUUUUUUUUDE FUCKING CHRIST :OO!! I absolutely LOVE watching guitarists' fingers. Shun is always a favorite (duh) but this guy is just amazing. Look him up on youtube, his name is Lee Kyung Won. Here is my favorite one he did, he is an amazing musician. Shit I feel like an inadequate idiot now xD *melts away* I'm still watching his hands while he plays. I'm in total AWE ._.;; I have this thing for guitarists, shove it lmao. And on a side note:: isnt his hair gorgeous? haha!

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Saturday, September 30, 2006

yeah well...it's been a rather uneventful few days without an update. I could rant on about a few people/things but I don't feel like it at the moment... so...in replacement, here is a PV I found beautiful. Enjoy it. Asagi (vocalist of D) made a new solo single. he has a GORGEOUS voice, I must admit. It's so smooth and the atmosphere of this PV was so nice. Though his wings beat the wrong way xD;; Am I the only one who noticed this? Anyway hmm...I'm debating on Sugoicon. JPH will be there and I want to say hi to Kailey (I never know if I mention her or not, she works for JPH). Well really Shannon, her sister, is a good friend of mine...but Kailey is still nice and is selling me some of her signed DJ stuff :D So I want to see her. And Hannah. I'm scared to see Katie because I'm still a bit mad at her and I really don't want to deal with her drama right now. Jen is STILL not getting over her Hannah B.S. drama so I don't want to run into her while I'm with Hannah. and yes Jen, Katie, Dolly, and Bunra will all be at Sugoicon. Sadly enough so will MANY other people I happen to loathe with all my heart :D But I can flaunt. Because I feed my ego that way. I suck, I know. hearts to you all xXTOCXx

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

SOOOOO school today was okay. We did this fundraiser thing over the past few weeks and our second period class (English 2 honors for those who have not memorized my schedule xD!) won pizza and a movie and whatever. I normally don't eat a lot during the day but this morning I had a pop tart from a friend at school (who i JUST found out liked some Jpop/rock and even Korean stuff like Super Junior :DDDDD!!!!!!), then like 3 pieces of pizza (when normally if we do have pizza at hoem I only eat about one or two tops), and a half a bag of skittles in 4th period. Then I ate a bowl of spinach when I got home (yes I love spinach. bite me ^^) Ugh my tummy. *whine* A few days ago I went on this anime-drawing kick lmao here is one of the things i did, it's not the best but I haven't watched much anime or drawn ANY anime in months. Nearly a year. Soooo....apologies for that. Ne, it looks strange xD I went piercing-happy *many hearts* Oh and I brought my Moi Dix Mois 'scars of sabbath' dvd and my dvd with Code of Vulgar[ism] and Malice Mizer and Duel Jewel on it to school today. B/c Brianna brings her laptop >:D We watched them in the morning before classes started and at lunch again. I learned a few more people knew who Dir en grey was and was happy about it. My friend Phillip (he's a funny guy) saw it and went "Dir en grey??? Those guys ROCK" and I was like :O!!! "YOU KNOW THEM?!" he is gonna pay me to get him some music ;D yesss I need the money for Sugoicon. Yes I'm going if all is in my favor. I don't want to really but I wanna see my friends and plus I need to raid Jpophouse and say hi to my friend Kailey (she works for them and her sister is a close friend of mine). She's gonna sell me signed Duel Jewel merchandise 8DDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!! Bah.... today I got in a stupid argument with a few middle schoolers and a couple freshman on my bus about religion. My friend Heather started it (unintentionally) by asking some random person "SO what are YOUR views on homosexuallls?" just playing around or whatever (our senses of humor are not common ._.;) and this BIG argument ensued on spirituality. Ugh I hate people. "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL BECAUSE YOU'RE POLYTHEISTIC" um. First of all, don't you dare comdemn me, you dumbass, you have no right to do that. Second of all, you didn't even KNOW what Polytheistic meant until you heard me discuss it with Heather. Shove your ignorant, close-minded, stubborn opinions up your tight fucking ass and please get a grip on reality. NOT EVERYONE AGREES WITH YOU. I respect your beliefs, please respect mine. I don't care if you think I'm wrong, I don't care if you disagree with everything I think. I'm not fucking trying to "conform" you to be like me. If you have nothing good to say, or even things you think are wrong about it but in a MATURE manner then please keep your trap SHUT. jesus fucking christ. (wow the irony in that just about made my brain break) the end :D xXTOCXx

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Sunday, September 24, 2006

-_-...

I'm sorry I don't comment much. Fact is I really do read updates often...I just never know what to say. D: I'm sorry. I know I hate it when people do that to me... I just feel like I'm inadequate or something when I can't think up a long, fabulous comment full of great advice. Anyway. Parents are out to breakfast. They invited me along but I'm too disgusted with myself at the moment to let my body HAVE any food. The last I thing I need to do is engorge myself with more fat ~_~ I don't want to go to school tomorrow...I have this big presentation thing in Health and I hate presenting in front of a class ;_; I get so stage fright that I tremble, and not just a little unnoticable tremble, I fucking shake so hard that my voice is altered by it. I wish school would just let us do assignments alone, partners not involved, and people wouldn't call on me. I really would enjoy it then. I hate dealing with people and I hate being the center of attention. I almost cry I get so nervous, I just absolutely loathe having everyone look at me and know that whatever I do will be seen. It terrifies me. Ugh I'm going to go finish Ayashi no Ceres I ordered the last dvd and it came on Friday e_e I might as well finish the series. it's the only anime I've seen in a long time, I'm not as interested anymore. I still like it but I won't go out of my way to see it or anything like I used to. Yeah, I don't know what I'm still on this site either. Just to keep in contact with a few close friends I have...if it weren't for them being on here I would have deleted this blog months ago, I almost did a few times but then realized that it's the only way I'll ever contact them since they don't really have any other way. Hmm... I'm watching the Chronicles of Narnia haha actually it's the very end where they are all grown up and go back I'm sorry but if that happened to me and i went back to the normal world I'd be plain PISSED off. ._. I'd shove myself back into that closet so fast I'd get splinters. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go eat some ice. xXTOCXx

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

yeah sooo... Brianna spent the night last night I feel bad because normally if I don't like someone I'll let them know by either my actions or in words. But I pity her so I'm nice to her. It's horrible and I feel evil for doing that because I know how much I hate it when people don't just tell me they don't like me. We went to go see "The Covenant" last night. It was all right, not the best movie ever. *shrugs* She's more fun when it's just me and her but like..I don't know she's just one of those people who like...wants too much attention. Like she sows off her cuts on her arm to me and is like "yeah i thought youd want to know" for no reason at all i dont know you'd have to know her..it doesnt sound as bad whn i write it down...just ugh cliché "goth/emo" w/e the fuck that label is called. Yeah so getting off that subject... God I'd do anything to move back ;_; I really would move back in a second. This state, this horrible stupid state, will NEVER be my home. NEVER. I wanna grow my nails out more...I have to stop biting them. my fucking mother keeps bitching at me and making me feel like an idiot. She's being such a whore today.... Yeah So. I should go. Nothing more to talk about. Except I lost my Duel Jewel DVD. I hope I can get those clips back and burn them soon....*worried* xXTOCXx

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Friday, September 22, 2006

beware -- THE RABID PENIS :O

yeah umm...the title.... inside joke. You don't want to know. Trust me. O_O; So there is a slight break in Staph Infection around our county. Being the extreme hypochondriac that I am, I now carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere I go. First period I finished Shun's eye :DDD I am gonna work on his hair i think, on monday. or maybe his lips =/ hmmm....I dunno, I'll figure it out ^^; Brianna and Brandon and I had fun talking, we're such perverts though and the people next to us were listening. They knew we were aware of their eavesdropping, but I told them I didn't care and if anything we said scarred them for life then it was their own fault for listening ;) Brandon annoys me though sometimes e_e just says stupid stuff and tells me about his SEX LIFE with his girlfriend (whom i happen to think is really ugly and it sounds mean but thinking of her in a sexual way makes me gag). Me and Brianna kept going "OKAY WE ARE SO NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS" and he just kept talking -_-; then hmmm... second block English was okay I guess. Nothing important really... third block was just blah, we worked on our health project due on monday and thats about it. Every day now I run to the main building to eat lunch. I have 3rd block in the annex building (this building across campus that is usually for freshman but I have to have 2 classes over there). and Brianna and a few other people i know have that same lunch as me so i go over there to see them. You know that feeling you get when everyone else around you hates you or thinks you're stupid? Oh. my. god. I get that EVERY time I'm around that group. I'm not a druggie and I'm not a whore so they have nothing to talk to me about. and I get good grades. Oh darn I'm actually trying to CARE about my life, silly me, what a loser I am e_e *rolls eyes* 4th block was SO fun today. It's Spanish. And we had a substitute and she was hilarious, an elderly lady but she was still so funny. This girl looked at me and goes "hey whats an actors name and age?" me: "...wha?" girl: "i just need an actor i dont care who." me: "uhhh...Johnny Depp is 42?" girl: "okay!...how do you spell that?" and everyone busted up laughing haha. The teacher was teasing her about it all day xD; We played some freakish spanish Bingo thing heheee. She overheard me saying something about Japanese being easier than Korean or something..oh no wait I was talking about Spanish and Japanese and how I could pronounce Spanish easily because it's the closest in pronounciation to Japanese. And the teacher says "oh you speak japanese?" and i didnt hear but i said "yesssss" b/c im weird and its just habit for me to randomly say "yess" i guess @@; and then i took out a headphone and went "wait wha?" and she said "say something for me ^^ like...hello how are you" me: ._. ...uhh...hajimemashite? teacher: oohh I took Judo and we had to learn 1-20 ^^ me: o.O whoa hahaaa yes. OH and on the bus!! the bus is always a LOT of fun because I'm really loud and obnoxious and I can scream and cuss and laugh as loud as i want to xD people on the bus know me and my friend Heather because we are so LOUD and talk aboutu really graphic..."bad things" oo; and there is this ADORABLE Korean boy on the bus, like he is SOOOO CUTE. He reminds me of a puppy (in fact we refer to him as puppy boy) and every day me and heather are always like "awwwww >___<" at him and today I was talking to heather about the korean pop blaring from the headphones xD; and i was mentioned Dong bang Shin ki and Kim Jong Kook and Seo Taiji and SE7EN and the kid taps me on the shoulder and said something and i looked over like :o "eeh?" adorable little korean boy: "you have korean songs?" *insert strong korean accent* me: "ooh! :D yes i do" adorale little korean boy: ":D oh!" *sits back down* I was like "awwwwwwwwwwwwwww" xD He looked so cute when he asked, why do young little asian boys always look confused? xD HAHA aahhh that kid is so cute... I wanna run up to him and ruffle his fluffy hair LMAO Aaahh finally the weekend *yawns* I'm gona go take out the dog and then take a nap, I'm SO exhausted. love you all ;) xXTOCXx

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

sooooo...

First I wanna say, thanks so much to everyone who tried to make me feel better yesterday, the smallest of words really did help... Today was okay :) I felt better... Brianna...*sigh* I don't know what to think of her. I think I just pity her to be honest...I don't want to hurt her because she does have a lot of problems, and those problems add to her actions that I deem unnecessary and unnacceptable... This morning she was upset, REALLY upset, sobbing and then took off and me and a couple other friends and her boyfriend who is also my friend went looking for her. We ended up being late for class, but I knew she was hurting and I hate to see anyone hurting that bad so I waited until she was ready to get up. and my first block (as well as Brianna's and Brandon's who was with us) was art and i explained it to my teacher and she let brandon and brianna sit by me and we made her feel better. English was fun, we had to draw a scene from Pit and the Pendulum (I love Edgar Allen Poe!) and I drew the 7 candles sitting on the table at the trial. It was actually not that good and drawn really quick and you could see the strokes and everything but I guess it would be good to people who cant draw that well =/ I didn't mean that in a mean way I'm just saying...I know I'm good at drawing (though there are SO many people better than me). She taped them all up on the wall yesterday and she was talking about them this morning and said that lots of people asked about mine >.<; I was kind of embarassed because everyone looked at the drawing then looked at me. I blush easily ._. ..... Ummm...third period was okay...nothing special e_e I overheard some stupid freshman girl drama. "Oh her self tanner was uneven hehehe she's ugly hehehe" I hate high school girls. Ugh. *is one* ....oh yeah....damn it. Totally passed my Spanish test yesterday. I'm acing that class, even if I do occasionally catch myself mixing it up with Japanese (several times today I tried to add "wa" between some words xDDD;) I saw a really cute guy on MTV yesterday o_O;;....weird... it was that "Parental control" show. Yes I watch that. i watch Next. Because I'm a loser :D He was Asian (so sue me, I can't help it) and had longish hair (to his shoulders) and was built like Natsuki. And he worked at a coffee shop ;D he was cute. I'm exhausted...it's taken me like half an hour to write this because I'm losing concentration and staring off into space a lot. Oh I am using a picture of Shun in a mosaic for art..i started it today. This is the picture I'm using-- Sorry it's so big. We had to blow it up REALLY huge. Like it takes up nearly 6 pieces of paper. Everyone's pictures were blown up really huge. I just got started, hopefully I can finish at least his face by tomorrow =/ I should go I really lost any point I had in this post....@__@ xXTOCXx And he was wearing a cool shirt haha.

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