Saturday, July 22, 2006

xDD sinec i have nothing of great importance to say....replies to comments, yes? :D Larth2Think: MSI = kickass. Bed of Roses = even more kickass. Yeah it's really the only MDM song I like too oo;; My friend Hannah loves Mana though so she burned me a copy of her MDM dvd and i decided to watch it anyway and saw Juka performing this and I have to admit I think Juka is hot (but stupid Mana kicked him out xD). That song is from their second to last newest album ("Visions"). It's one of my favorites. Oh you have Lapidary?? Red Beast wo Korose is and always has been my absolute FAVORITE *hearts* hahaha. I'm waiting for someone to come up to me and go "Dong Band Shinki is japanese right 8D?" and then I'll have to kick them....in the eyes... Out of Your Mouth is one of my favorite American bands...well...actually I think they might be canadian LOL I don't remember...let's go with english bands xD PeachesxCream: haha yeah my body likes to fall asleep on me o_o like when i wake up and i try to move and it hurts so bad xD It does too shut your face (I take compliments so well ne? ._.) lmao. I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO love Jello :D even though...the main ingredient kind of disturbs me x___x *cough* If you need anymore mp3s you know how to reach me ^___^ lubbyuu loveLIESbleeding: I love DBSK too xD they are too adorable. Hi Ya Ya is my favorite, though :3 it's so cute lol. Nicholas Tse...honestly I haven't heard a LOT of his songs, but enough to know that I like him. And he's a cool guy, my friend showed my an english interview with him and his english is absolutely flawless, but that could be due to his living in Arizona for a while, ne? xD; haha. I'm going to try and sew my bag today x__x i have this amazing purple fuzzy material and it will be PERFECT for my sexpot inspired bag xD I love Sexpot to death but ordering imported clothes online is such a pain in the ass and tohugh i have the money for like one bag it's stupid when I can sew almost everything on there. I may order this skirt though...if I find out how big a Japanese XL is. Because I know Japanese sizes are smaller and I'll probably need an XL in their size to fit my fecking hips -_- i dunno...does anyone have pointers? my bust = 42 inches waist = 31 inches hips = 40 o_o;;; Yeah my body is shaped funny lmao. You don't have to tell me that. sankyuuu *hearts* now im off because mother dearest is bxtching at me to take out the dog -_-; xXTOCXx

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Friday, July 21, 2006

weeeeeeeeeeeee SE7EN sounds like a hotter justin timberlake?! LMAO

*yawns* 1:33.....just woke up about twenty minutes ago hahaha. Who likes my new layout :D? and who can see the player?? O_O Momo couldnt see it, i think if you cant then you dont have the right flash player downloaded. b/c i believe you need flash... to all those who CAN see it, listen to Duel Jewel. Because I said so. It's one of my favorite favorite songs by them and I'm singing along with it as we speak xDDDDD I'm such a loser. i know my pic look like crap e_e I'll get a better one as soon as possible. wow um my hands just fell asleep while i was typing o__O ......weird xD im laying down on my moms bed sing HER laptop *cough* ._. maybe that's why xD hahaha Oh oh!!! I made jell-o yesterday...like an entire pan full....and my mom got eating it, and i came out and was like "BIIIIIITCH DAS MAH JELLO >:O" it ended up being gone by midnight e_e it was good though xD;; I make more today, yes? yes yes X3 Oh and for those who don't know, just so I don't get questioned....if you CAN see the player, Dong Bang Shinki is KOREAN, Nicholas Tse is CHINESE, and SE7En is KOREAN. okay? okay. the rest are either Japanese or English, and if you can't tell THOSE apart then you're scaring me. oh and um.....most of the songs have the word "fuck" xDD;;;; like a lot lmao particularly the English ones but so do some of the japanese ones oo;; and yes, it's mostly the word "fuck" xDDDD I sent Momo-chan lots of mp3s yesterday...well not LOTS but like 4 or 5 I think lol. which is no problem, if anyone ever wants an mp3 ill see if i have it ^_^ I have at least 16 CDs burned, all with about 18-25 songs, my mp3 player has like 250 (but those are unaccessible at the moment ToT *cry*) and all together (english+korean+chinese+japanese) about ummmm I'd guess 200+ on the comp. so if you think there is a chance I'll have something you want, please ask me :) okay im gonna go b/c my hands are falling asleep again x_____x and I have to do my cleaning today and make more JELLLLOOOOO khyahahahahahahah *hearts* to you all xXTOCXx

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

*yawns* 'banwa minna-saannnn :D i'm watching my Jdrama at the moment (via youtube) and I figured while I'm waiting for it to load I'd update ^_^ It's such a cute drama. It's called Waterboys2, the lead actor is SO adorable and fuzzy haha! His name is Hayato Ichihara (the actor, not the character). I love him to death, he isjust so cute xDDD My friend in cali. who loves Hayato (from Duel Jewel) hates hayato ichihara though LOL! ironic ne? Anywayyy... I haven't really done anything exciting lately e_e talked to Hannah again last night after a long while :) and I actually talked to Jen on her new cell phone a couple of days ago!! ^_^ We mostly text b/c of her minutes but we got to really TALK on it for about 10 minutes lol. I was so happy, I missed her voice. This is going to be very short, because I have to still do all my house chores and stuff and take out the dog AND finish my drama as much as I can do today so sorry everyone ^^;;;; OH! I talked to my Momo-chan 2 days in a row :DDDDD SO EXCITED!!! lol!!!! baibai now xXTOCXx

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

FINALLY i fucking got my new playlist up on myspace jesus fucking christ it took forever i might add it to this profile. maybe lmao My mom told me I look thinner today but I think she was just trying to be nice. e___e Mazohyst of Decadence is my newfound love xD even though....it's not so new..and i've foudn it a long time ago HAHA! well the LOVE for it is newfound, how about that? I'm so excited about getting my $50, my new allowance makes me so happy. Little work for $100 a month. Fuck. Yes. I'm not spoiled, I swear xDDD I still have to do my normal chores aroudn the house plus a couple extra but all in all I'm supposed to do those anyway LOL as SOON as i get my money im getting my hair done b/c I'll have about $95 and I'm going to beg my dad to tell my mom already and try to get it done asap. If it doesn't get done when I'm PAYING for it I'll be so pissed O_O UGHGJKLHDBKL FUCK my hair iron broke yesterday. I don't know how, it just won't heat up. I'm SO pissed off. Now I have to use a hairdryer and a brush to straighten my hair. Granted -- my hair is already extremely straight...but since it is so long, it bends around my shoulders when it's down right? so it kind of stays in that shape and gets a little wavy. So I have to straighten it. Fuccck. So I have to buy another iron...I'm thinking I'll buy one with interchangable irons...crimper and a straightener :D Fuck man I can't wait for Dir en grey's next solo tour. I wanna see Kyo in all his bloody glory. I dont want them to hold back like that will probably have to at FV. FV and not being able to go does not have my heartbroken. I want to experience "GDS" and scream "kill kill kill" until they each come out, I want to see Kyo spill his blood and saliva for us, and I want to give it back in return (though in my case it won't quite be as literal lol!). I want to see Kyo go all out, i wanna see him sway his hips and scream his heart out. I want to see Die's solos. I want to see Toshiya work the crowd. I want to see the blurs posing as Shiyna's arms. I want to see Kaoru being his little macho man self. haha. The only reason I'm so Dir en grey oriented lately is because I guess so many people are talking about it that is is almost constantly on my mind! Everywhere I go it's "im going to see dir en grey at FV!" or "omg this bitch likes Dir en grey" or "I dont want Dir en grey to be hurt at the tour" etc etc. lots of dir en grey talk :) *dances* ohhh Duel Jewel's newest album came out last wednesday i think it was. So gorgeous, I got it the day after it came out xDDD loveloveloveLOVE as always, those boys are the replacement for my heart and soul when I can't tap into it myself. Jen, Katie, Rachel, Dolly and Bunra are all trying to get these 5 pit tickets at the Cincinnatti FV show. I so wish I lived there still, then I'd be going to see the concert but alas *sigh*...oh well. Trying to stay positive here! lol Their tickets are $100 each but Jen is (surprisingly enough) working very hard and Katie and Dolly have jobs now too. Bunra and Rachel are very responsible so I'm not worried about them. I hope they get to go. I only wish I could go with them, I wanted our first Dir en grey concert to be together, you know? like a ritual, lol! (kidding) Ganbatte yo~ (to them) Yesterday I discovered myself to be a bit stuck up and quite a bitch :0 lmao and for some reason I'm not really troubled by admittimg it :). I'm not stuck up in the sense that I hurt other people purposely, I would never do that. I mean stuck up like...I think I like to show off around people in a sense, and I do especially find myself to enjoy showing off around people I don't like, which does make me kind of a hypocrite doesn't it? I don't think I really intend to do it but it's like instinct..I know I shouldn't have to prove myself, though, especially if I dont like the person. I just can't make myself practice what I preach sometimes e__e. But despite that, I am a good person and I never realized that before. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, I just made mine more significant than they had to be. School is starting soon *sighs* I'm scared...I have to admit it. But not scared of it being a new school...just... more that, I'm starting my sophmore year...and to be truthful I don't have many friends my own age, the majority of the friends in my grade were at my high school in Kentucky. The rest of my friends are anywhere from 16-25 years old. and it's just that Freshman year is supposed to be the year to make friends to keep for your survival of high school, i guess. I'm not good at approaching people, but to be perfectly honest, I don't have to. this sounds conceited and for that I apologize, but I usually attract a lot of attention ~_~;; I'm very quiet the first few days of school, as in all new environments, only because I like to observe people. I want to study them like specimens, weird huh? I like to observe everything about them, right down to their mannerisms. I'm usually very good at pre-judging someone's character by using this method, and it lets me know who I want to talk to. I never really talk to anyone first, most of my friends started by striking conversation with me. haha... Anyway gnrlhbnjlhgntdgh I better go, I'm using my dad's computer xDDD his screensaver wasnt up yet (luckily) so that means the password wasnt up HAH!!! Oh and I used to have a box in the blog part of my MyO, an I lost the html for it, can anyone help me out here? like as in the box where all the text goes, the "slow and painful" html? I completely lost the html code, im sorry!!! no photos today because photobucket won't load for me. -_- xXTOCXx

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Saturday, July 15, 2006

okay what do you think :0?? Drew it yesterday, took me a couple of hours. It looks a lot better on paper ~____~ like for serious now, people, a lot better. lmao For reference-- it's my Korean friend Crystal (AKA Shou). this is Kikuye, my other friend in California. She is friends with Crystal, they actually know eachother in real life though. lol TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! Ummmm considering it's actually 11:32 at the moment here, this updates based on the eastern time zone, so I can get away with this xDDDD. I'm probably going to have to clean all day tomorrow *sighs* Well....today...Saturday...yeah. That's what I meant lol. OH yeah i just remembered I promised to post that pic of me with D'ray... okay i look like shit b/c i was so scared of touching Hizumi or Karyu that I scrunched myself all up into a little ball xDD;;; I was paranoid they would like freak out and stab me or something .________. xDDD sorry its so big, i thought i resized it but i didnt I guess e___e oops im too lazy to go do it again xDD god i look like shit!!!! LOL they were all so tired, poor things. I really wanted them to go take a rest or something T__T xXTOCXx

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Friday, July 14, 2006

watching...Independance Day?? o_O

It seems I'm always updating my MyOtaku account from my mother's laptop, lol. I just woke up to my dads cell phone ringing (thank you mother -_-) b/c he left it here and I had it in my room. uugh *sighs*... *yawn* Well...last night was pretty boring... so I threw on makeup and photo whored a bit, updating my myspace pictures lol. And made a few signs for people... what was funny is I posted a bulletin saying if anyone wanted a sign they should tell me now b/c I was going to wash off my makeup soon. And so two of my friends asked me to, so I made them signs and then went to wash off my makeup, and then when I came back one of my [fucking HOT] guy friends asked me if I'd make him one, but I had just gotten the message late, and I didn't want to tell him tat because he is really nice and he would have felt guilty or something so I threw my makeup on again xDDDD oh yes I wasted some makeup last night =___= I keep having strange dreams... Really strange dreams. I don't remember the last time I ever had a happy dream, have i ever, actually? hmm... do we have happy dreams? I only remember a couple that have left me feeling good in the morning. I just wish I could have NO dream, sometimes, just let my mind rest. I think that must be it...my mind is restless so often that at night it just explodes into so many fucked up weird things. Huh. Weird. ooooh dear....there might be some major duel jewel whoring here soon...I just found one of my many photobucket accounts (I keep running out of room xDDDD) and there are approxamately 14 pages of duel jewel pictures (just on THIS account o__o) each page containing about 20 photographs...*major sweatdrop* ::DISCLAIMER:: NONE OF THESE PHOTOS BELONG TO ME OR WERE TAKEN BY ME. Aww this is from Acen 03, I have this on video thanks to my shae-shae *hearts* It's the most adorable thing to watch ^__^ Shun-sama *laughs* that's his idea of an "Im-so-not-gonna-laugh face xD;; Isn't he gorgeous though? apparently this little girl just LOVED Shun xD awwww. I find it absolutely amazing how little kids and babies always love the people which most parents will pull them away from, hahaha. Like me and me dad for example. My dad has long hair to his waist and wears leather jackets and rides a harley, I have colorful hair and wear spiked jewelry and black band Tshirts etc etc. and babies LOVE us to death o___O little kids and babies are always trying to get to us, but parents always hurry them away like we're going to eat them or something. Weird isn't it? I don't think she knows just how lucky she is T-T It's like Duel Jewel foster care xDDD Hayato loves children, but I recall Crystal telling me that this little girl was also at fanime (these pics are from onicon) and Hayato was calling her over to him and she ran to Shun xDD of course, I can't blame her *grin* Shun-sama playing his guitar. He is, without a doubt, one of the most AMAZING guitarists I have ever known. In fact, during their US debut, their very first performance in the united states as Akon 13, Shun learned to play Rocket Dive (by hide with spread beaver, I believe? i can't remember if he was with ZILCH or Spread Beaver...) in just a few hours and perform it the next day :O If you've ever seen his live performances (I have but only by way of video *sighs*) and watch his fingers as he plays, they move SO fast. And his face is amazing, he is supposed to play the badboy act all the time *laughs*, and act all badass and sexy (which he can do ;D), but during a live he can't hold back his smiles. He is laughing and grinning so big that it's contagious. Hayato had to have had braces. Look at the line of his teeth =3= his smile is actually very pretty, the lighting is so terrible for his teeth in this picture xD;; okay sorry enough Duel Jewel whoring...*sweatdrop* I just really have nothing better to talk about...hmm... Well I don't know when my oral surgery is...I have to go to the orthodontist first ;_; I'm so scared, i have to be honest. and I REALLY dont want braces. -_- omg i wonder if braces will interfere with my lip piercing plans o_o....sunuva.....>.< okay im sorry, more photo whoring of me b/c I'm gei. I honestly have NOTHING to talk about right now other than babbling sooo this is going to be a superficial photo whoring session ;_; i look so wrong in this picture o__o that's my new shirt I bought last weekend or whenever it was that I went shopping, by the way. Ummm...to be blunt....my chest looks too small xD;;; I have to say it, i look flat as hell o_O and I am all but flat....that's so weird i wonder how that happened *squints* xDD Taken around 11:00 last night, yes yes yes. and my beanie that reminds me so much of Zero-sama hahaha. awww i found my picture i took with D'epsairs Ray, did I ever show you guys that o__o? well if i did, then please tell me and I won't show you. If I didn't then I'll post it tomorrow because you HAVE to see d'espa's faces, they are all so sleepy >.< baibai, ill hopefully have something better to talk about tomorrow! xXTOCXx

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Thursday, July 13, 2006

ugh i want to eat soo bad x_x my stomach is turning against me *growls at it* bastard. okay ummmm getting my mind off of ittttttt *randomly dances* okay. Um. hi? o-o my dad is giving me an allowance now :D all i have to do is simple jobs everyday like sweeping the kitchen (we have like 10 feet of tile in the kitchen so thats not bad :D) and stupid stuff like that. $100 a month if i do them all muahahaha technically he's giving me $50 every payday (every 2 weeks) so thats about $100 a month generally :)))))) *happy dance* I already did the 2 simple jobs I had to do today... he ACTUALLY printed up this little weekly chart thing LOL it gives me a certain amount of money for every job every day it has to be done, so if i dont do a job it just doesnt give me that part of the money *malicious grin* but i need all the money so i have to obey my dads whims .__. damn lmao oookay now.... i promised pictures did i not? *sighs* okay here you go ^_^ I'll try not to give you too much duel jewel *twitches* xD I'll give a bunch of dir first for my momo-chan :DD You're right momo-chan, his hair does look really sexy like this ^___^ i like it black and fluffy too though :o Shinyaaaaaaa *hearts* ^___^ he is my Dir baby lmao, he is just too gorgeous. and if you watch him live, oh my fucking GOD his arms fly so fast I can barely see them! O__O Kyo is the only man I've ever thought of as absolutely SEXY who has muscles. Other than that I just cannot STAND them, I think muscles are disgusting =o= Why does Kyo get away with it?? ._. ....*melts off the couch*....Zero-sama....your legs almost match that of Uruha's....I forgot how to breathe X___X KANA-SAMA!!!!! ^___^ *wriggles* he is one of my hair idols :DD okay i think ive pictured everyone out .__. xDD;; baibai for now xXTOCxx

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

*yawns and melts over the couch* I love the laptop...*smirk* it allows me to be lazy and lay down while typing. anyway I'm watching one of my many dir en grey DVDs...it's rather calming. I'm watching it merely to take a break from cleaning. I've decided I need to suck up more =__= though I prefer to KEEP my dignity I suppose I can let it go for just a small while.... *shudders* Usually I only do things like this when I'm not told to, if they tell me to I get really angry and don't do it .___. I hate people telling me what to do unless I ask for instructions *grumbles* it makes my stomach turn over D: Kyo's voice amazes me sometimes...lol it's just incredible to me how such a small man can evoke such strong emotion from the audience, like their screaming melts into his voice and escapes just a bit through every crack in his singing. My dad said he wants to start giving me $50 every payday as long as i keep up with a few simple jobs in the house...no big deal, itll probably only be laundry and the litterbox and dishes and keeping my bathroom clean. *rolls eyes* that's not hard.... besides I need the money to go to my con fund, that's about $100 a month if I counted correctly...*ponders* Kyo really looks very nice with black hair, I kind of prefer him with the spiky black hair. and shinya's black and red cornrows are BEAUTIFUL in this live. I'm always a sucker for red and black hair (hence Shun...*coughs*). I can't help it D: It just draws me in *cry* lol Though I'm not a Die fangirl xDD weird Anyway.... sorry about yesterdays post, guys I've just been having lots of stupid stuff so....ignore it if at all possible. It felt a little good to get some of it out, I don't think I could have fit anymore inside of me for a while....lol I made some more room in my brain for drama storage though so that's good. I had a cup of noodles all day today... that was my only food. I went to sleep around 4:00ish and then my mom woke up from strange dreams again around 11:00 or so but she wouldn't let me go back to sleep b/c she kept telling me to do stuff and so I ended up screaming for her to "get the hell out of my room and go to work" .____. ....I was tired what do you want from me? *coughs again* I hope she didn't take that too personally....though I don't think she would have, because she knows I'm a grouch in the morning ._. .... anyway i went back to sleep and woke up around noonish, 11:50 or something. and then i checked my myspace messages and LJ real quick and started cleaning my kitchen and vaccuming the living room. FUCK i hate it when i cant remember the names of songs!!! This is one of the best songs xD i think...its...shit i know this, my brain is so fucked up i cant remember!!! OH OH ITS MACHIAVELLISM MUAHAHAHAHAHA KAORU KAORU EATS CASHEWS *dies laughing* inside joke but if you've heard the song you should probably be able to figure it out *still dying laughing* okay so yeah anyway ._. ...ummmm I have decided that i NEED a concert fix. Nothing, absolutely nothing can make me happier than remembering the D'espairs ray live. the endorphins and the music pumping through my flesh and into my veins and every raining note from Hizumi's voice and Zero's bass and Tsukasa's drums and Karyu's guitar just melting over me, it's one memory i will NEVER forget every detail of. and lives just give me that natural high, I need to get to another one. They cheer me up and make me happy for weeks afterwards. Shit, after D'ray I was still in shock from everything (especially Zero falling on me, that still makes me giggle xD oh look i just did! HAHA) that I didn't care that my neck and legs and EVERYTHING ELSE was aching from the moshpit and lack of eating. I had bruises everywhere and my neck hurt to move, but it got me out of strenuous workouts in PE so thank you D'espairs Ray xDDDD yeah im sorry everytime i talk about D'espairs Ray the conversation soon turns to "FUCK I DID THIS AND THIS AND ZERO FELL ON ME AND BLAH BLAH BLAH" every time...i wonder if i have a bragging problem .___. *shifts eyes slowly across room* okay soo.... I'm gonna just relax on this couch for a little while...maybe later I'll go clean out the pantry and fridge or something...i need to clean my bathroom still *sighs* after this Dir dvd is over I will though *yawns* i think I need a nap....Kyo's screaming makes me sleepy *giggle* strange ne? xD I haven't talked to my friends in a long time :( Dolly and Jen and Katie...I miss them so much but they don't call me or IM me anymore...katie and Jen of course cant do either since their computer is broken and they have no phone but I'd just appreciate it if dolly could call me or IM me once in a while, especially when she is with them so I can talk to everybody. I miss them a lot ): here before I start to get all depressing again!!! PICTURES FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE o_O (again, on my moms laptop at the moment so i can use the plasma screen for dir en grey *coughs AGAIN*....so no resizing of the pics sorry D:) BAAAH its my favorite movie :D (Moon Child) I used to have it but it got lost in our last move a month or two ago *SOBS* I need to re-order it from netflix and burn it LMAO thats what i did the first time xDDD i steal all my DVDs *grin* im so horrible 9__9 I know ........shun-sama....umm....I think i need a towel o-o....(all you dirty minds, thank you for getting that joke xDDD) Aren't they the most adorable things?? XDD I love shun's face. He looks like an angry cat o-o BUAHAHA Duel Jewel at Katsucon 9 ^___^ VAL'S MOHAWK LMAO I love it xD I used to hate it but it's grown on me over the years ^^;; ^^....*giggling like a little girl* xD Yoshiki (ex-drummer of X Japan). he's gonna be at Otakon!!! UGH DAMN YOU PEOPLE IN BALTIMORE. I hope he isn't a total ass to you though 9_9 yaoi screen cap of this -- muahaha from Yuuyami Suicide -- Pierrot okay that's enough for today....next time I'll lay off the duel Jewel pics ^^;;; kay? I'll post some bands some people may not know of, I shall J-educate you 8DDD xXTOCXx

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

*sighs*

Hello everyone, how are you doing today? Well... okay so I don't know what to start saying lol. I think lately I've just given up on everything.. on myself and my family and even the cleanliness of my room. I mean I've never been a very tidy person but lately it's getting BAD... because I mean my god I haven't even done my laundry in months...how horrible is that? ugh and I'm going to be serious, I think this is the most I've ever weighed. and I was 20 pounds lighter in early January. I don't do anything anymore. My life consisted of... go to school and avoid the people I hated (like...all of them?) come home and talk to my friends online. yeah. I got SO lazy when I moved here. All I wanted to do was see my friends again, b/c I do care about them more than almost anything. So the only way I could do that was through the net and that means I was sitting on my ass for days at a time -_- I think I've been having a lot more nightmares lately I don't ever have nightmares...so they really scare me, and they are so graphic and I can feel everything with a sort of hypersensitivity ): and they are the kind that make me jolt up out of my bed, breathing so hard and almost sweating. I hate them. I've woken up crying a few times too b/c I just can't stand the nightmares I keep having. Wow this is a happy post ._. gomen ne guys.. I feel guilty as hell too... my parents are not happy with me and I know that. They are stupid though, they talk about me in the living room, which shares a wall with my bedroom. I mean I'm not DEAF. Plus my dental bills are killing us financially... and i feel so guilty it just makes me cry. I have so much oral surgery and everything to do and it's so much money and it's just KILLING us... I don't blame them really... I've been such a bitch lately.. I just yell and scream and cry. Like all the time. and the other night we were having dinner and my mom wanted me to get up and get something, andI was about to but i took anoter bite of food first and thne when i was about to get up she got up all flstered and got it herself. So I went "I was about to get up but okay..." and my dad said "no you weren't! You saw her getting up so you got up to act like you were" and then they started laughing at me! I was so pissed off I tried multiple times to just leave the table but he yelled at me to sit back down so i did. they both basically called me a liar and my mom realized quickly enough that i was really very hurt b/c i think she saw my eyes tearing up and she apologized to me. My dad didn't, of course. I hate being so sensitive but I just AM. and I have been for a long while now... I either cry or scream as a reaction 90% of the time. So really I don't blame my parents for getting pissed at me all the time, because they don't always deserve my yelling at them. blahhh... I need to go before I start to bore you even more, sorry again. Pictures? Yes let's cheer up with pictures...by the way I apologize they are so big, I'm on my moms laptop and thus dont have my photo programs...meaning no resizing :D mom-chan do you like that one? lol Note the graffiti. Isn't it lovely e__e ? naitomea no sakito. he is so gorgeous, he just really is. Makes me jealous lol. Hitsugi, also from Naitomea.*many many hearts* I think he is one of the most beautiful people ever. And I'm getting those piercings. :) by the time I'm 20 I expect to have them all. I've wanted a bridge for a long time (the one between his eyes) and i really cant wait until i can get my lip rings.... Shun-sama, my idol. He IS the beauty and hope I need in so many dark moments. xXTOCXx

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Monday, July 10, 2006

late post.... so apparently i need oral surgery. this involves an IV in my hand. Im so scared of needles i cant even begin to say it. just thinking about it makes me hyperventilate. ugh and im watching lifetime angst movies. they are pissing me off so much. i hate high schoolers. evil bitches. yyeah i cant even talk right now sorry this is so short :(

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