Wednesday, February 8, 2006

URG

UGH my school is SO fucking full of immature morons! I mean HONESTLY, why can't people just mind their OWN fucking business and GROW UP?! GAH -rips out hair- NO ONE is respectable or honorable anymore!! NO ONE! Okay sorry...I'm done for now... I'm cooking one of those little personal pizzas -sigh- And I had a bag of skittles and a bag of chips today in school!! I NEVER eat until I get home, i don't even eat in the morning, so this is really weird for me... ToT Uwaaaa I miss my buddiiesssssss in KY ;-; -sniff- Well um... not much else to report I suppose -sigh- MY comp is still fried in my room... the bastard... I just need a new power supply, nothing really bad...no files lost... I should go before I find something else to rant about -.-; xXTOCXx

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Tuesday, February 7, 2006

-munches my salad-

Well boring day at school as usual We got Netflix just the ohter day and I'm sooo happy b/c today I'm ordering Moon Child and Suicide Club and Spirited Away all on DVD and I'm going to rip them all and burn them to my own disks =D Hey technically they cannot bust me, I'm not making profit off of them ^^ They have so many movies I'm just gonna alternate days w/my dad to order movies (since it only takes a day to send them here and a day to send them back, we should have different movies about every 3 days) and I can order the anime I want to burn and viola! my own DVDs. Teeheehee sometimes technology is amazing ^^ We rented The Legend of Zorro for my mom and we're gonna burn it for her and give it to her for her birthday, which is 2 days after mine (she loves Antonio Banderas 9_9). And I also saw Fantastic 4 finally, it was really funny, I must admit. ^^ Well... That's it for now I guess ._. baibai xXTOCXx

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Sunday, February 5, 2006

Growl....-__-

I'm so bored. So FUCKING bored. When I am bored. I eat. Too much. I have been bored since I moved here. I think I weigh ten pounds more than I used to. And my dad does not care -.- I told him I was bored and if we didnt go do something I'd end up eating everything in the fucking kitchen. Know what he said? "Sorry." -___- Know what he said when i asked him again a little later? "Don't eat." and then her persisted upon arguing with me over whether or not it was hard to not do so. He does not understand. I have no willpower. I am a weak and pathetic blob around food. I am starting to cry because I want to go eat something but I know it's not good for me. And what's weird is: my parents know, even my old therapist told them, I am sensitive about weight issues, and they know i am not stable (anyone who has known me long would know why but I won't sayi t b/c it was a personal thing I did and I regret it now). But they still make fun of it all the time. My mom, for example, saw this girl on TV doing something about dieting and freaking out over food and my mom went "oh look it's you!" I did not find it funny at all. I can't even believe she said it. And this this has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever posted about. -sigh- goodbye. xXTOCXx ::edit:: and now I am watching Miyavi. And he makes me happy. So I can smile until I'm done, then my mind will remind me of how bored i am once more -.-

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Saturday, February 4, 2006

-yawn- too early -sleepy eyes- ,,,,,,

Well I'm waiting for Jen to IM me, she has amazing amazing news that I am SO fucking sad to hjear why am i sad? It's great news, he met some people whoe sound really cool and are friends with Fruit-Roll up boy from Sugoicon (if you read my concert review you'd know him, he's a cute lil asian security guard who looks like Toshiya and crossdresses for cons =D). and they gave her his number and we might meet them again @ the mall when I come up. Why am I sad? It only reminds of of how much I hate living in tenessee and how much I miss everyone in KY (and i wont be able to see these amazing ppl if they dont see us on the weekends i come up ;-;). The last 2 times I moved have sucked extremely, and i noticed that only then did my grades start to suffer. Only when I had to move to Ryle and too far away to see my friends that often. Connection? Perhaps. Damn it all, my mind makes the worst thoughts out of the best situations ;-; this can't be healthy. But all it makes me think about is how lonely it is down here. -sigh- Anyway off that subject-- I watched Spirited Away on tv last night. I had only seen it once before, and that was way back in like...2003 or 2002 or something.... But all i could remember b4 i watched it was that it depressed me back then, and scared me a little (mostly it was that DAMNED BABY!!!). Now that I watched it again I have come to realize: I was an idiotic shallow creep when I was younger. I didn't understand the movie and was not interested then -sigh- thus I refused to want to understand it at all. But watching it the second time made me love it, I want to go buy it now ._. (hahaha I LOVE the baby when it is a mouse, I remember that now XDD and the puffball spiders T^T so cute) I don't know, yesterday my mind was just automatically darting for every flaw it could find in everything, b/c the only thing that depressed me yesterday was that Haku is pretty and interesting and I'm gonna be a lonely little single person my whole life since I won't just settle with anyone that wants to go out with me (WHICH I FORBID MYSELF FROM DOING EVER). I dunno... I just can't settle for what I've found so far. I can't. I refuse to. If it takes me until I'm 16, so be it. 17, okay. Even 19, yeah I'll take it. But I am NOT going to to just accept being with anyone. Ugh i sound like a feminist supremist -sigh- I'm in a weird mood, my apologies. take care all xXTOCXx ::edit:: P.S. I almost forgot!! Val's birthday today!! He is the drummer in the saammme band as Shun-sama =D aishiteiru :hearts:

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Friday, February 3, 2006

UWAII!!! ^o^

OTANJOUBI OMODETOU!!! Shun-sama's birthday is today!! ^_^ -has full scale celebration- Okay not really, lol, I lack resources. But I'll give him best wishes on here since I can't do it on his birthday page seeing as how no one has updated it yet -.-; Just for reference, Shun-sama is my idol and I love his work dearly. I think he is the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid eyes upon as well as one of the most talented. Technically his birthday started yesterday in Japan, but I will celebrate it all day today anyway ^^ Sending Shun-sama my support and hopes for a wonderful birthday! xXTOCXx

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Thursday, February 2, 2006

.___.;;

Well, school was okay today. I am getting along better with people, and the kids on my bus are decent. The guy (we call him Rusty, i dont know if that is his real name) is really nice, he is just a pothead, lol. I got hit on and stared at and commetned at/about numerous times today -.-; Why? Okay, no one NEEDS to know this, but it's your fault if you continue reading! lol It's b/c I do have rather....um...large....well okay let's say I'm just "well endowed" ._.; Rusty was telling me his friend and him were discussing the girls at school at lunch today (typical boys -.-;) and they were complaining b/c everyone was As and Bs and his friend saw me walk by and Ruty told mehis eyes baout popped out of his head LMFAO Normally I'd just be like -___- *growl* But by now I am SO fucking used to people talking about my bust that it doesnt bother me -sigh- Just ask Sakura-chan -.-; I don't think i go a day around her without her commenting them -rolls eyes- Okay off that awkward subject...lol We had a pep rally today..ugh... I sat in the senior section with the girl from my bus (Mya) and the cheerleaders started cheering, and you know how they say stuff like "seniors follow along!" "juniors follow along!" and so on and so forth? Well whenever they got to freshman all the seniors "Boo"ed like crazy rofl I'm not bothered b/c, hell, gods know Ill do it when I'm a senior! In fact I was laughing XDD there was also a bunch of REALLY brave guys who ran out in cheerleader uniforms (im talking full on, some put basketballs in their shirts and/or pants ._.). It was slightly disturbing.. Anyway Mya told me no one could tell I was a freshman anyway thanks to the "endowments" I SWEAR that is all my friends talked about today!!! It was like the running joke of the day XDD No school tomorrow, thank the GODS. I would die XP I really wanted to go to KY tomorrow and go to the dance at my friends school T^T But i Can't -sigh- Oh well, maybe next time, when my hair finally gets fucking done -.- Well I had better get off and wash my hair...it's getting nasty and greasy already -sighness- Oh!!! And btw, no one read my last post!! I feel used -folds arms- -shifty eyes- okay jk lol. take care! :heart: xXTOCXx

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Meh...

Interesting day today. That kid who tried to set me up with his friend (to make this easier, his name is Scott) told me about a Chinese restaraunt he went to and that I'd like it b/c there is a waiter he said I'd think was hot. He told me he had layered hair (mid-back length) with frosted highlights and was REALLY skinny and that he had a face shape kind of like Sakito's (when i showed him the pic of Sakito I'm drawing, that is what he said). ^^ So now I'm gonna beg my dad to take me there on my birthday ^o^ I hafta see if this guy can replace my hot AB staff ToT lol Well I'm gonna be home all day today as usual -sigh- We're broke as hell, which is odd since my dad moved us fdown here b/c he'd be getting PAYED more. But he told me why last night, b/c my mom decided to buy a new car RIGHt after he did, so they had to pay $3000 down payment. Yeah...sucks. OH speaking of kaasan-- She accused me of drinking her wine!! she told my dad that when she had come down here last time she could not find it and asked if i had drank it! I mean my gods, mother, I'm not turning into a pothead acoholic!!! -.-; anyway take care :heart: xXTOCXx

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Monday, January 30, 2006

whew....

I heard that was just a myth. Thank the gods... I was freaking out. Pretty sad when I don't doubt that someone can do something like that though, ne?

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Fucking immature ignorant sick bastards...

Okay so it was lunch time today at school. I went to the art room as usual to meet my "friends" (the one who likes Jrock and they all like anime, but the Jrock one is a bitch...). Well one of them, the only one who didnt like Jrock or Jpop or anything at all, was telling me about how one tiem, this guy she knew had kittens he wanted to get rid of. ::Warning, this is deeply disturbing (at least i think so) and it made me sick the whole day:: He buried them up to their necks in his yard and ran them over with a lawnmower. As soon as we heard this everyone else started fucking laughing!!! LAUGHING!! I was the ONLY one who was horrified and when everyone else notice the sickened look on my face they stopped laughing and looked at me. I just said "That's not funny. That is absolutely disgusting, how can you possibly laugh at that?" And she said "Because it's funny." I had to leave, I couldnt even stand it anymore. Already I wanted to find this sick fucker and beat his ass. So i went back to class and when everyone got back from lunch this kid (the one who tries to "hook me up" with ppl -.-) saw how pissed I was and asked what was wrong. I told him and he started laughing (WHAT HTE HELL IS WITH THESE PEOPLE?!) and said "I know that guy." and i glared at him and asked "Who?" And he proceeded to tell me it was a friend of his brother's. I told him "You had better hope I never find that guy." and he went all apologetic when he found out I thought it was terrible. He told me to get over it!! I'm not going to fucking get over it, those things horrify me!! I was nauseous all day and still am just thinking about it... Then all these assholes in my class started asking what was wrong and i TRIED to get them to leave me alone and kept sayig "None of you business." or "Nothing important to you." BUT THAT DAMN KID kept telling everyone, and every time I heard the story it got me more pissed and more sick so finally I screamed at him to shut up. Then the class started mocking me b/c i was upset, but my school is absolutely immature and stupid, and they are scared of me. No I swear on the gods I am not trying to make myself sound badass or anything. They seriously are scared of me. So they shut up when i looked at them... Ugh I'm still pissed about that... Anyway, that girl i talked about before, the one who i met on my bus who is kind of annoying b/c she uses terms for categorizing people... It just bothers me, I don't know why... Anyway I'm going to go to her house today, I promised myself I'd give her a chance, if anyone lights up a joint I'm leaving. I am not supposed to inhale smoke b/c of my asthma, nor do I want to SMELL like weed. I feel so fat today ;-; I know i know, it's annoying. But it's your fault for continuing to read this if you don't want to. I ate too much junk today. At first I was like "Okay, salad, ice, fruit!" then this mornign i ate a pop tart -.- damn myself. then throughout school i ate nothing, as usual. But when i got home i was hungry so i went in the fridge to get out my salad and I spotted... the dreaded cheese. I looked in the cupboard and found...the evil bread, accompanied by...pop tarts. So i ate the other pop tart i left this morning. then i ate a piece of bread with cheese on it. followed by a bite of ice cream and this low fat yogurt. That cannot be healthy... Okay now that im done rannting about my food-- baibai xXTOCXx

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Saturday, January 28, 2006

Damn AIM

Won't work -sigh- I'm goin to Goodwill today to find clothes to rip up. But since we are low on money I dont know how the hell im gonna get much anything i mean jesus fucking christ, we moved down here b/c my dad got a job that pays a LOT more than his old one. So I ask of everyone, this ciritcal question: What the hell? And now my computer is being a total assfuck so I have to get off before it blows up the entire complex -.- xXTOCXx

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