Monday, July 9, 2007

I don't want to go outside anymore. I know that's not a good thing, and I know it's not healthy. I just kind of want to sit in my room until I'm 18. I have no interest in being here, there's nothing I want to do anymore outside of my house (not sober anyway) so my mind kind of figures "Why bother leaving the house until you can leave the state." But I can't stay in my room for 2 more years...it just doesn't work that way. No one would leave me alone, it would be impossible. I'm invited to go places with people and I say yes just because I know they want me to. Because I know that if I say no all the time they'd get mad at me, or even worse, they'd worry about me and then make a big deal out of it. But I really don't care anymore. For once I have a really busy week, and despite the fact that I'm always complaining about being bored -- I really would just rather lay on my bed and stare at the wall. This week thus far: Tonight -- ɳachael picks me up tonight around 10:00 ÉÔpending the night at her house so I can babysit her sister in the morning Tuesday -- ÉÃabysitting until Rachael and her mom get home around 5:00 ÉÈoing to the mall with them to eat and get clothes for Rachael ÉÔleeping over again so I can babysit again Wednesday -- ÉÃabysitting until Rachael and her mom get home around 5:00 ÉÑrobably going home that night (not sure yet) skip thursday because nothing has been etablished Friday -- ɨoing to see POTC3 with Rachael, Keri, Ahrahm, and Amanda. Rachael's paying for me again...god I feel like a loner. I hate people paying for me. É¢hrahm, Rachael, and Megan stay the night at my house ɸe go up to Adam's and get hammered because I'm finally able to drink again. É©opefully make it back to my house and pass out by 5 or so. As for the weekend, I have no idea. But take 3 guesses to what I'm looking forward to the most. Yeah. I don't like reality these days, I prefer to be in my own little world. It's a good thing I made a solid promise that I wouldn't try hallucinogens (at least not for a long while), because I could have some by tomorrow if I wanted to. =A=;; Life is so dull. Excuse my complaints. xXTOCXx

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