Sunday, January 22, 2006

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Didn't feel like putting a title. Thanks Yume Sama, I'm sorry, I tried to go to your site to wish you a happy birthday (almost) but my copmuter would not load it. MyO does not get along well with me... Well I am disgusted right now to the point of hurling. Stupid reason though it may be, I was already not feeling well earlier from drinking milk from a cereal bowl (I think I may be lactose intolerant b/c every time I eat/drink something with milk i feel sick)and so I was eating a piece of toast to settle my stomach, and i ended up having to pull one of my own LONG blonde hairs out of my mouth (stress = shedding). It sickened me so bad I just can't even think about it without my stomach turning. I know I'm a wuss when it comes to things like that. I can't touch dirty dish water or old food on a plate without gagging. Even if it is a dish I had JUST put into the sink or dishwasher, I can't touch it. My shrink said I sounded like an OCD case, I wouldn't blame her, I think so too ._. Ugh my stomach is still turning b/c I'm thinking about it XP I'm having one of those days where you just think too much... I don't mind doing this with people I can talk to, in person or on the phone... over the computer it's just not the same, it's so void of all emotion, just blank text. But it's different when I am alone... no friends here to be close to.. I found some...shall I say "interesting" people at my new school... they practice Magick, like I do, and they believe in things that I believe in, and are nice to talk to about THOSE things... but they also talk about such things like smoking pot and drinking and just things I don't want to get mixed up in...so Im confused... I did find three people who like anime, two of them knowing and liking Jrock (one more than the other). The one who likes/knows it more is named Thelma, she loves Korean pop too lol. I showed her Seo Taiji and she likes him ^^; She also loves Miyavi o_O ::hearts to Miyavi:: anyway...though I have found some people who are nice to TALK to it's just not people I feel comfortale getting close to. Kind of like my friends at Ryle, my old school. One or two I would talk to about serious things, but most all of them were just acquaintances I needed as friends to talk to at school. The only friends I actually feel close enough to and very at ease with, the ones I can say anythign to and I don't have to doubt that they'd still love me, were never attainable to me. They were in a different school, or a different state. Jen, Katie, Hannah, Erin, I could continue listing... I miss them so much... I don't think anyone really gets the extent of how far I'd go to just live back up in KY and go to school with them. It'd mean the world to me. Hoping to bring you less solemn reports in the future... xXTOCXx

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