Tuesday, July 18, 2006

FINALLY i fucking got my new playlist up on myspace jesus fucking christ it took forever i might add it to this profile. maybe lmao My mom told me I look thinner today but I think she was just trying to be nice. e___e Mazohyst of Decadence is my newfound love xD even though....it's not so new..and i've foudn it a long time ago HAHA! well the LOVE for it is newfound, how about that? I'm so excited about getting my $50, my new allowance makes me so happy. Little work for $100 a month. Fuck. Yes. I'm not spoiled, I swear xDDD I still have to do my normal chores aroudn the house plus a couple extra but all in all I'm supposed to do those anyway LOL as SOON as i get my money im getting my hair done b/c I'll have about $95 and I'm going to beg my dad to tell my mom already and try to get it done asap. If it doesn't get done when I'm PAYING for it I'll be so pissed O_O UGHGJKLHDBKL FUCK my hair iron broke yesterday. I don't know how, it just won't heat up. I'm SO pissed off. Now I have to use a hairdryer and a brush to straighten my hair. Granted -- my hair is already extremely straight...but since it is so long, it bends around my shoulders when it's down right? so it kind of stays in that shape and gets a little wavy. So I have to straighten it. Fuccck. So I have to buy another iron...I'm thinking I'll buy one with interchangable irons...crimper and a straightener :D Fuck man I can't wait for Dir en grey's next solo tour. I wanna see Kyo in all his bloody glory. I dont want them to hold back like that will probably have to at FV. FV and not being able to go does not have my heartbroken. I want to experience "GDS" and scream "kill kill kill" until they each come out, I want to see Kyo spill his blood and saliva for us, and I want to give it back in return (though in my case it won't quite be as literal lol!). I want to see Kyo go all out, i wanna see him sway his hips and scream his heart out. I want to see Die's solos. I want to see Toshiya work the crowd. I want to see the blurs posing as Shiyna's arms. I want to see Kaoru being his little macho man self. haha. The only reason I'm so Dir en grey oriented lately is because I guess so many people are talking about it that is is almost constantly on my mind! Everywhere I go it's "im going to see dir en grey at FV!" or "omg this bitch likes Dir en grey" or "I dont want Dir en grey to be hurt at the tour" etc etc. lots of dir en grey talk :) *dances* ohhh Duel Jewel's newest album came out last wednesday i think it was. So gorgeous, I got it the day after it came out xDDD loveloveloveLOVE as always, those boys are the replacement for my heart and soul when I can't tap into it myself. Jen, Katie, Rachel, Dolly and Bunra are all trying to get these 5 pit tickets at the Cincinnatti FV show. I so wish I lived there still, then I'd be going to see the concert but alas *sigh*...oh well. Trying to stay positive here! lol Their tickets are $100 each but Jen is (surprisingly enough) working very hard and Katie and Dolly have jobs now too. Bunra and Rachel are very responsible so I'm not worried about them. I hope they get to go. I only wish I could go with them, I wanted our first Dir en grey concert to be together, you know? like a ritual, lol! (kidding) Ganbatte yo~ (to them) Yesterday I discovered myself to be a bit stuck up and quite a bitch :0 lmao and for some reason I'm not really troubled by admittimg it :). I'm not stuck up in the sense that I hurt other people purposely, I would never do that. I mean stuck up like...I think I like to show off around people in a sense, and I do especially find myself to enjoy showing off around people I don't like, which does make me kind of a hypocrite doesn't it? I don't think I really intend to do it but it's like instinct..I know I shouldn't have to prove myself, though, especially if I dont like the person. I just can't make myself practice what I preach sometimes e__e. But despite that, I am a good person and I never realized that before. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, I just made mine more significant than they had to be. School is starting soon *sighs* I'm scared...I have to admit it. But not scared of it being a new school...just... more that, I'm starting my sophmore year...and to be truthful I don't have many friends my own age, the majority of the friends in my grade were at my high school in Kentucky. The rest of my friends are anywhere from 16-25 years old. and it's just that Freshman year is supposed to be the year to make friends to keep for your survival of high school, i guess. I'm not good at approaching people, but to be perfectly honest, I don't have to. this sounds conceited and for that I apologize, but I usually attract a lot of attention ~_~;; I'm very quiet the first few days of school, as in all new environments, only because I like to observe people. I want to study them like specimens, weird huh? I like to observe everything about them, right down to their mannerisms. I'm usually very good at pre-judging someone's character by using this method, and it lets me know who I want to talk to. I never really talk to anyone first, most of my friends started by striking conversation with me. haha... Anyway gnrlhbnjlhgntdgh I better go, I'm using my dad's computer xDDD his screensaver wasnt up yet (luckily) so that means the password wasnt up HAH!!! Oh and I used to have a box in the blog part of my MyO, an I lost the html for it, can anyone help me out here? like as in the box where all the text goes, the "slow and painful" html? I completely lost the html code, im sorry!!! no photos today because photobucket won't load for me. -_- xXTOCXx

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