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• Female
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• USA
Member Since
• 2005-11-01
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• general public annoyance

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• --D¡¦pairs Ray live [Sugoicon05]

Favorite Anime
• I like manga more
(Kare First Love, Ayashi no Ceres, Gravitation, etc. I'm a sucker for Shoujo or Shounen Ai)
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• --College in California
--Duel Jewel live
--finish learning Japanese (I'm only semi-fluent)
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• drawing
writing
being spaztastic
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• ^[see hobbies]^




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myOtaku.com: xXTribalOfChaosXx


Friday, November 17, 2006

One lovely fucking day. current mood :: crushed
;_;

very short post.
My mom said I could go to Tokyo this summer in July, that we'd find some way to pay for it all to let me go.

But when I mentioned that we had to pay the deposit fee like ASAP when my dad got home about 10 minutes ago-
he was all "yeah right i lose my job in january how do you expect us to do that?"
And i know it's true but it broke my heart in half, I've been so excited running around all day telling my friends because I was so happy to get to go to Japan.
;__;
Is it bad to feel the tears welling up for this?

I'm doubting if I can go...
Only 20 students can go and 8 already payed the fee (which you have to pay to sign up for it), plus a couple more are paying next week before Thanksgiving break which starts on Wednesday...

I always have feelings about things and they happen, and I have a feeling I am not going..
I am so heartbroken right now I can't even open my mouth, my throat feels like there is a brick stuck in it.
I feel so selfish but my heart is so heavy now...

xXTOCXx

::EDIT::

Someone said make new friends but keep the old, right?
But what happens if you know they really don't want to keep you.



It makes your heart crack in all the wrong places.
That's what happens.
Exactly what happens.
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