Saturday, November 18, 2006

current song :: 'When You're Evil' -- Voltaire

I feel better. Thank you Momo-chan, I love you so much *hearts* You made me feel so much better. I had to just cry it out and then distractmyself for a few hours. Eventually my eyes got tired and I just watched TV with my dad for a while. They never knew I was crying, which is a good thing. I hate it when they know, then they get all "oh what's wrong, tell me" and if I don't they get all mad at me. I hate it when they know something is wrong. anyway I just cried until I felt that strange twinge in the back of your eyes, you know. Like you have nothing left TO cry out, and eventually you start to feel better. I am not exactly HAPPY with any of this, but I'm not being a total baby anymore like I was last night... My "friends" are just questionable. Hence the last statement in the previous post. So...don't worry about it, ne? I don't want anyone bothering themselves with it, I can handle it. Anyway! I also got to talking to some friends online. It's when I know my life has reached an epitome of patheticness, lol. When my friends across the country seem to care more than the ones I left behind in my old city. Just an interesting thought..hm. I listened to Voltaire as well, and he always makes me feel better. He's probably my FAVORITE, if not second or third favorite, American musician ever. He's amazing :D And I can't help but laugh while i listen to his songs, haha. I have to clean a lot today as soon as my mom wakes up, so I can't get too comfortable here at this big black squishy computer chair ;_; My brother is coming on Monday, and even though we were never close, and it's sometimes hard to remember "Oh yeah I have a brother", I'm glad to see him again. It's been a few years. I mean...when people ask if I'm an only child, my mouth says "I have an older brother" before my brain even processes the fact that I DO in fact have one. It's just that when he lived with us I was so young I guess that I never got close with him, and he moved out when I was 9. I guess that must be it. So it's hard to remember any times where he was in fact - my brother. I'm preparing for an onslaught of "oh god why did you kill your hair?" comments as well e_e *sighs* along with "what the fuck kind of music is this?" and then "DON'T YOU TALK TO MOM LIKE THAT" while he turns around and screams "bitch" at her. Because that totally makes sense, right? wtf oO; Well...I'm starving. And I think I want to make my mom in a good mood today since I'm stuck with her...so... I'm going to go make a big breakfast :) hope you are all well I'll check sites more often, okay? I feel bad for not doing so D: xXTOCXx ::EDIT:: new theme - Duel Jewel. I didn't feel like putting up a wallpaper even though I have tons. The song is my favorite one off of their newest release, I haven't let go of the CD since it got here.

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