Friday, November 24, 2006

Current song :: Hug - DBSK

bored. soooo fucking bored. My brother and parents are hitting bars tonight so I guess I'm just sitting here all night again .__. .... It's okay though, I'll find something to do. Take pictures or something. Gah I'm so sick of not having any friends around here. Like sooo sick of it. I have people I talk to in school, but none that I really like to hang out with outside of school. I've been whining a lot lately, which consequently makes me feel like a total hypocrite since I happen to loathe whiners. But really I'm just sick of it. Every time I make a friend they turn out to be a total loser, I just didn't see it, as a result of the unapparent fog of desperation closed over my eyes at the time. Druggie, whiny little whore, immature moron, all of the above. Whatever. I'm really sick of it. I hate high schoolers. Nasty little creatures. I'm never going to date anyone here. Maybe I'm just being a stuck up bitch but really no one interests me around here. I am very touchy about some things, that's all. I know the people I'm attracted to do in fact exist, because I've met them before. Just not anywhere near here. Lucky me, ne? So I can't wait to move. I wonder what people in my college will think when I admit that I've never had a date or a boyfriend in my life. That will be an interesting conversation. People were shocked when I admitted that as a freshman last year. I can only imagine what will be said if I admitted it now. People in my school don't know that, because really it's none of their business. I don't have any desire to sharemy personal life with the people there. These girls think I'm their best friend, a few of them, and I'm like "uuhh no". I have best friends. They live far far away and I don't get to see them more than every 6 months or so. Thus I don't see any point in pretending to be friends with anyone here out of pity, it's not fair to either of us for me to do that. I don't want to be totally mean. While I'm usually a very blunt person, it doesn't necessarily mean I'll set out to be a total bitch. Contrary to popular belief, I do have some level of sensitivity. If someone asks me if they look ugly, and I think they do, I'll say so. If someone asks me if they look fat, and I think so, I'll say so. Only if they ask of course, because otherwise they hadn't asked for my opinion so I won't give it. I only say if you ask me. If someone randomly came up to ME and said "you look hideous" I'd be pissed off, yeah. Only because I hadn't asked for their input. If I asked, however, then I would appreciate a very honest answer. So I apply that to all situations. I want people to be honest with me, so I'll be honest with them. But for some reason I just am being too much of a coward to tell these people that. I don't say things behind people's backs. If I feel it's not appropriate to say to someone's face, I won't say it at all. And I do drop hints when people annoy me. Some more frank than others... For example sometimes I've been known to say something along the lines of "Yeah you're annoying me, shut up." And they usually do. Or if they're whining about something I may jut offhandedly say to someone next to me so that the person will hear "You know what really bugs me? When people constantly bitch about their lives and never try to do anything about it." But sometimes the person I was intending on telling to shut up doesn't get the hint and they'll actually go "omg me too" in which case I'll have to slap my forehead and be blatant about it and go "yeah uh I meant you" Most of them get offended, I can't blame them. In fact I expect it. I'm not really a mean person, it's just that I say what I think so I tend to offend people faster than draw them towards me. I like people who are blunt about things, and most of my really good friends are like that as well. Extremely blatant and so I know I can trust them. I know, my perspectives are fucked in the ass, ne? Haha my mom said she liked my Kpop (korean pop) and hip hop. I was listening to Super Junior and SE7EN and she goes "is this Justin Timberlake?" me: "nu uh it's korean" her: "oh really? these are the guys that just sound like him, right?" (I've told her about them) me: "yeah" her: "I like their voices, they're pretty. I can listen to this." :D Alayna owns this time. bahaha xXTOCXx

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