Thursday, November 1, 2007

Horrible Stuff.
Quote- "...Why do you push me away? Can't you see how much I want you...But maybe...I am doing the same thing to him..."


My quote is discribing what has been happening.

Very depressed.

Not my normal self...

Alone...Distant...Lone...Loner...Weak...Scared...Angry...Depressed...

All of those things are describing me. Why did you leave me when I need you so much? I am so lost without you...I need you...You make me...Make me...You make me all the things I have listed...What is wrong with me? Why am I letting him get to me? It's not like this is the first time he has done it. Infact I should be use to it by now...but I'm not...*sighs* What am I going to do?

I'm going. I will be avalible through PM. Or call my cell. (706)-412-9997. If I don't talk to you...DON'T CALL! And my name is Jada by the way. Well...Bye...

Happy Halloween. Well...late Halloween.
Love-
Jada...Or Heru.
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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Poem and a post.
Quote-"...Place me like a seal over your heart...for love is as strong as death...It burns like a blazing fire, like s mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away..."

QUOTE BY- Songs Of Solomon 8:6-7
(New International Version)


I am very sick. Today hasn't been good. Last night I was thinking about Steven and started crying...part of me still loves him...He still carrys a piece of my heart with him...I long to talk to him. I long for things to be the way they use to be. Most of you don't no this, but my friend Randy was arrested a few months ago. He was left out at 4 AM yesterday morning. I started crying so hard when I found out...I missed him. And truth be told...I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did. Anyway I am going to put that poem now.


How do I love thee?
(I didn't write this!!)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love the to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee free;y, as men strive for Rights;
I love the purley, as they turn for Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,-I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!-and if God choose,
I shall but love thee vetter after death.

I dedicate that to Brandon Henning!
It's amazing isn't it?


Love-
Heru. The Moon Child.
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

*sighs* I'm alive...Maybe...This is not a joke. I feel dead...
Quote-"...I listen to the same song over and over again only because it reminds me of you..."
Quote Two~"...My tears make a river and with that I will drown the whole world..."

Alrighty. I am alive. Barley. I am cutting...alot...I'm sick too. Very sick...Soar throat, stuffy nose, my head is punding, I have a feaver, I can't see straight, and my eyes hurt. I have homework too...I don't wanna. The bunnyz are chasing the scare-crow. Ice cream is shaped like pickels...Paper eating a printer...Jada I do make sence any? ...Um...Ow....I made my brain go ka-boom! Bye bye.

Love-
Heru
Lilith
Emo child
Weird freaky emo girl
Sick lady
Big sis
Lil sis
Eris
Momo
Juji
Monkey
....Enough names...Tweet Tweet.
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Sunday, October 21, 2007

HERE HAVE A FUCKING UPDATE!
Quote- "...Hitting walls and getting scars only makes me who I am..."
Quote Two- "When you push her around does it make you feel more like a man?"

Enough Quotes...

How long has it been since I updated?

Ok forget it I will just start at Thursday.

Thursday-
Second day back to school, I watched a Native American proformance thingy. It was kinda cool. Um...I talked to Brandon on the phone for a few hours...and that's basically it. (Yeah boring day.)

Friday-
Boring day at school. I talked to Brandon some. My brother went to the hospital. (He's fine) he was having problems with his anxiety (Not sure if I spelled that right) Uh...Talked to Brandon more...And that's about all. Oh yeah I went to the mall and got some stuff.

Saturday-
I went to the Humingbird Festival in Hogansvile. I got a neclase with a cross on it. Then I went back to the mall. Then I went a few other places then I came hom and called Brandon. Talked to him for a LONG time. And while I was talking to him I decorated the porch outside. Oh and I am not having my Halloween party this year. Morgan you can come over though. ^^

Sunday (Today)-
Boring day. I went to church this morning and went out to eat with my parents. My dad came home last night. I haven't called Brandon yet, but I will soon. Uh...That's about all.

Well I'm gonna go. PM me.

Love-
Heru Shade Lupus. A.K.A Lilith.
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A freaking update. (With two songs)
Quote- "...I wish I could have saved all the tears you made my cry so I could fucking drown you in them..."


I'm extremly sleepy and I have a head ache...I am not that sad today though. ^^ Yay!! Yes, At the bottom of this post will be two songs. One by Linkin Park and one by the Dixie Chicks. One metal one country. Am I weird or what? Anywho I am on fall break. Today is the last day though.
-.- My yellow jacket sting is doing better! It only hurts now when I touch it. Anywho...Morgan went home yesterday. T_T Waah. And...that's about all. Anywho here are some songs lyrics. (You don't have to read them if you don't want to.) Toodles!

Love-
Heru Shade Lupus.


~~SONGS~~

Dixie Chicks- Not Ready To Make Nice.

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting


Linkin Park- Numb.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be


That's all! Stop reading! Don't you think you have had enough of that? Get out of here! You no you are wasting you time reading now don't you? I said STOP READING!!! Teehee ^.^

Comments (10) | Permalink

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Meow~!!~
Quote- (None)

Can't think of a good quote. Don't care either. ^^
Morgans here. We went to see Judgment Journey last night...*shivers* That is all i have to say.
My head hurts...I got stung by a yellow jacket...on my head!! That is so wrong!! I'm gonna go now. ^^ Toodles.

Love-
Heru Shade Lupus
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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Song by Limp Bizkit.
I will post later, right now have lyrics ^_^


LIMP BIZKIT LYRICS

"Counterfeit"

Freakin' me out you wear a mask called counterfeit,
you're freakin' me out you wear a mask - [5x]
Freakin' me out you wear a mask called counterfeit,
you're freakin' me out you wear a...fake
Hey man wake up and smell the concrete
Strange to see you've changed like the LB
Could be identity crisis but I can't buy this
Reality bites but that's what life is
Pitiful you, your hideous behavior
Hate what God gave ya, fakin all the flava
Artificial minds seekin out the new trends
Get in where you fit in
Quit thinkin like a has-been diggin in my culture
Let me let your punks know I'm an old school soldier
With the funk flow
A damn shame you wanna change yourself
Because you're sick of yourself
Well I'm sick of you too, fake
You're a, a counterfeit, fake
You know we figured you out
Well I'm sick of you too, fake
You're a, a counterfeit, fake
I wonder, I wonder
I wonder what it's like to be a clone
Doin' nothin, nothin' on my own
Alone in your misery, you're bitin on my new style
Filed as a counterfeit, going down in history as nothin but a copy cat (copy cat)
So if your fakin that you're phat you need a ballbat
Right where your head is at
All your desperation causes separation
Now I grab the mic to intimidate
Your weakness screams from the limp on your siren
Phonies get the hint quick smacked with funk flick
Pain for the fakers fame can't maintain
Because you're sick of yourself
Well I'm sick of you too, fake
You're a, a counterfeit, fake
You know we figured you out
Well I'm sick of you too, fake
You're a, a counterfeit, fake
All these phonies
You disregarded your life (disregarded your life)
You disrespected your friends (you disrespected your friends)
You've even stolen your appearance (stolen) from hangin out with my family
But I should have never dropped my guard (shoulda never dropped my guard)
So you could stab me in the back (stab me in the back)
But you were faking me out (you were faking me out)
Just faking me out you wear a mask (you wear a mask)
Freaking me out you wear a mask called counterfeit, you're freaking me out you wear a mask called counterfeit - (6x)
Now you're steadily startin to change
You wanna rearrange your lifestyle with live like the wild child
With the vibe alive you could lie to try and be so fly
A lie but you deny you're a fake
You know we figured you're a phony (fake)
You know we figured you out (fake)
You know we figured you out, figured you out, figured you out
Fake [a bunch of times]


Love-
Heru Shade Lupus


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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

....T_^....^^...O.o....v.v...I'm so emotional!!
Quote-"...I am cold and alone...won't you be my hero and save?"
Quote Two-"...My life is terribel...I am holding onto a dream that won't come true..."
Quote Three-"...The rose speaks a launguage only the heart can understand..."


Alright that is enough quotes...

Today has been boring...I have been going through memorys all day... Mainly about Steven and Danny...I miss Danny so much. I would do anything to see her or talk to her again. I wonder what she would say about how I have changed my life...I wonder what she would think...She was one of my best friends...we stood by eachother for everything. She was always there for me and I was there for her...I could talk to her about my parents when they were fighting...I sometimes wish I had her family...they seem so perfect. Her and her mom have this amazing bond. Danny can tlak to her about anything, while me...I barley talk to my mom...I wish Danny wouldn't have left me...I am so lonley right now...I just want to crawl in bed and sleep until...until...until what? When will this misery end? Ok I'm going. Toodles.

Love-
Heru Marie Lupus.
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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

*Giggles*
Quote-"...You will no when you find it, it is the best thing in the world...love..."


*Squeals* WHEEEE!! My face is so red^^ I'm so happy!! I could so scream right now!! This is the happiest I have been in weeks!! Today was awesome! And I so love Brandon! ^^ He is so awesome! (If you only knew!) Hehe^^ *sighs* He makes me so happy. I don't no what I would do without him...Ok I'm gonna go. PM me. Toodles.

Love-
Heru Shade Lupus.
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Monday, October 8, 2007

RANDOM!!! ^^
Quote-"...I think that you should just put a condom over your head because if your going to act like a dick you should dress like one to..."


WooT!!
RANDOMNESS!!
CHICKEN IS GOOD!! WooT!
I like my quote ^_^
I also like fall!!

You no Fall and fall,
Their synonims! ^^
I like fall because it's fall!!
And when you fall you bleed! ^^
And when you bleed you get happy. ^^
AND!!!
The leaves turn red like blood!! And brown like dryed up blood!!! I'm so emo!! ^^
*shakes the nearest persons arm till they look at her like she's crazy* I AM A CRACK CHILD!!
Other person: Really?
Me: HELL NO!! XP
LIKE OMG TISNF!! Whee!!!
I LIKE PONYS!! YAAAHHHOOOOO!! Ok bye bye^^

Love-
Heru Shade Lupus.
DRINK PEPSI!! IT'S GOOD!!
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