Monday, March 20, 2006

  

A feel good quiz by cerulean_dreams
your name is...
your eyes	are dazzling
your hair	is magnificent
your smile	draws others towards you
your body	is envied by many
your hugs	make others feel loved
your kiss	is addicting
your love	is wanted
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Comments (0) | Permalink

   "..."
It's been a while since I last posted. Now that I'm over the I-have-to-show-I'm-emo garbage, jeez what was I thinking. I guess I've spent the last two years that I've been away... Really it doesn't matter. Just listening to Gackt, MCR (My Chemical Romance), Aiden, Seether, Slayer, Symphony X, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Koda Kumi, Seo Taiji, Dong Bang Shin Ki, The Trax... yea this might take a while...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, September 1, 2005

   The Reflection
I’m just growing tired of this repeated dream
Am I just one more person alone
Am I the only one feeling
This pain and this suffering
I’ve walked road long afar
(And)
Held my enemies close and far
When I try to just realize how much
I’m lost in my own mind~
Cause I’m
Lost in the dream and just trying to see
Cause this darkness blinds me
Lost in my dream
My only desire
Lost in my own dream
My cries are too far away cause I’m
Isolated from what I am meant to be
No one can ever fix me
Who am I just to say these things?
Am I sick or just alone?
Trying to find my dream or just falling?
So many questions in one life
Relentlessly repeated~
Lost in my own dream
Falling down or not?
Crying or just trying?
Slipping away or getting close
to the things I want to be?
Lost in my own broken dream that keeps playing~
Am I lost or am I found again~?
Trying not to scream my cries of pain?
Or am I just acting like I’m so happy?
I’m just lost in my own dream
Walking alone with my shadow behind me
Engulfing everything I glance at
Blocking my view and just not letting me see...
I walk alone with no one behind me
No one is close enough to hear my cries of pain
Am I really as happy as I act?
This is my truth and my life
It’s just not what I imanged in my mind
Am I lost or am I found?

Am I lost or am I found~~!?
Who I am
What I am
Who is this person I look at
Looking back at me on the pool of water
His eyes filled with the sorrow~
The darkness of his eyes
His black hair just dancing with the wind
And yet his eyes are so angry
Is this the real me?
Am I lost or am I found?
What I am, I just can’t figure out
Who am I, I just can’t seem to see
What I am and Who am I
What is this dream
Will ever end with me being happy
But these wounds will never heal
And the debts won’t be paid
Until I know who I am and who is this inside me
Not until I know what I am really inside me
Not until I do this on my own and my heart is pure once again
Just breaking away from this person inside
That reflects against the pool of water
But Everytime I act I just seem to pull away and just be sadder everyday
I may seem so happy, but inside the true person who is suffering is me
Wasting all this time inbetween
This feeling of anger and suffering...

I’ve heard these words from my own mind
What do I really need?
If you can see past the darkness and reach out to me
Maybe your presence is all I need
To find the real me... - Breaking Away, The Reflection (Note: This song is inspired by Green Day’s Boluvard of Broken Dreams... and this feeling in my heart. The idea of the reflection is my own expericence as I gazed at myself at the river during my West Virginia Mission Trip... The face I saw was just full of sorrow, anger, bitterness, and pain... I admit that I was crying for once... luckily I was swimming so no one noticed. I do not want anyone’s to feel this sorrow and pain as they read this and no one to show their pity. Take me as a example and don’t become what I have become. That is the why I wrote this. So no one could feel my feelings of confusion and for those who feel this... just to change... something I never could do very well. This is what basically going in my life)
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, August 22, 2005

   Crying in the Inside
Everytime I'm told to go somewhere else
I'm pulled away from others
Just trying to breathe, trying to take
another step
Takes so much of me
Cause When I'm all alone
The pain I feel is heavier
I feel so alone right now
No one could love me...
I know I've seen the dreams
Cause I'm trying to say that I am
Just okay but I know I'm not
I try to hold on but I fall..
No one has every shown me compassion that is left unforced
No one has liked anyway all that I'm called is a goth
I've been rejected by everyone and everything
Just Trying to Breathe
I'm left out of everything
Everyone that talks to me
Is only seeing an act of me
Trying to fit in just trying to scream
I'm letting go of the act and now.. I'm just alone with out anyone
Cause everyone feels so far away from me
I'm suffering in the inside, isolated from the outside
I can see past the illusion of all the happiness
It's just a lie trying to say all the world is fine
Pain is everywhere for me
Cause I know I can see
Everytime I try to look away
It just comes back to me
All my wounds bled... so freely
I'm just crying in the inside,
Caught in the outside
Crying in the inside,
Trying to fit in the outside
Crying in the inside,
Acting on the outside
Crying in the inside,
Wondering on the outside...
(Note: I originally wrote this as a poem but it became a song in the end... A song about me and my life. These words are all true and from my heart and mind... Don't stay and just leave me alone...)


Comments (1) | Permalink

   Trying not to Scream
I'm all alone and that's how I like to be...
Just trying to be me, just trying to see
Holding back these tears and healing these wounds
Letting them bled so freely, Shining in the moon
Keeping in my deepest secret that runs so deep in me
So deep it will never show, but It just eating away of me
Just taken away from me
So I'm
Trying not to Scream
Trying not to cry
Falling on myself
Slipping once more
Watching me struggle
Watching me fall
Just falling
But
As I fall down
I want to let go of all this pain and all this fear
As I fall down
I want to let go of all the things I deem so strong and what I'm supposed to be
I don't know who I am and what I'm really supposed to be
I know these wounds won't heal and I won't give or pay anything
Not Until I find myself on my own... away from the dreams
Cause I'm
Just trying not to scream...

Comments (1) | Permalink

What Samurai Champloo Character Are You? Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

What FF7: Advent Children Character Are You? Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.