Monday, November 1, 2004

here do i leave my thoughts and mind, love me as you will but only pass judgment went you can tell me how do you be me.

Please just let me cry, These tears that I can not hide. Words deeper than knifes can cut, Penetrate my soul deeper thus. My mind is winding down, I am losing control, Losing what I had What I need Things I lost are gone My hope failed All I loved blackened Never whole always half Leave me in my state of pain For you never cared before No one did I am alone These tears no one will see My shattered heart you can not mend This is me Losing my sanity That’s it! I’m fed up with my parents. They think I’m the problem! I just don’t care anymore. My father no longer scares me. His empty threats mean nothing to me. Oh how I wish to cry but my tears are so empty, so dry. Why I go on I do not know. Cold steel feels better against my flesh than any hand could comfort. I wish they would just leave me alone! Ok now that I’ve scared you this is what happened. My dad is forcing me to make a schedule, a contract, with a written out agreement to do better in school and do everything right and to sigh my name at the bottom. I refuse to sign my name, my NAME, the thing that is all mine, to a parchment where he can do as he pleases. I will not sign away my soul to him. It is mine and he can not take that from me! Take my life take my things but leave me my name. It is all I have left. I… I am so weary… I’m losing grip of my life. He steals my poetry, my stories, burning them, telling me I can not write, it is a foul life, I only want what is best for you… he takes my soul from me a rips it up and gives it back torn and depressed. I lose myself. I cry about disappointing him only because I feared what he would do. I do not want to be beat again, like the last step mom did. I do not want to be put down where all I try to do is help. I want to be free, yet he binds me with this torment. I want to cry but I cannot for he said I couldn’t. To listen to follow I am lost and no will of my own to do as I want. Believe me as I say this I would end my life if I could but unless he says I can I can’t even draw the blade across my skin to draw blood. My fate binds me to this world. Bound and tortured a sacrifice to mankind to better their lives. Leave me to find my whole where I am only half. To be whole again ah but are we ever whole? These thoughts I ponder as the burning desire to runaway flames in secret in my heart. Locked away from his prying eyes. ~Kara~

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Sunday, October 31, 2004

Today is Halloween!!!

Me: OK EVERYONE SHUT UP!!! YGO gang: O-o;; *silence* Me: Now we are going to take pictures of everyone in their costumes. Get the backgrounds you want and the costume and go to your respective rooms. I will hit each and everyone of you in time. Now OFF WITH YOU!!! ROOM 1: Yami and Yugi Yami: ok now put your hand like this… NO LIKE THIS! *yanks Yugi’s arm sideways* Yugi: OWCH!!! Yami: oh stop bickering! We need this to be prefect Me: *walks in* ready? Yugi: yes Yami: almost Yugi: >.< Yami: Now clip yourself in the air on this wire here and there your in the air. Now pose as your suppose to… great *gets in his spot* Me: done? Yami yugi: YES! Me: ok *snap* ROOM 2: Seto Seto: mmm stupid broom… Yami: *walks in* Hey kaiba! Seto: >.< what the *beep* are you doing in here?! Yami: I thought I’d help your picture *jumps in spot next to him* Seto: Did I ask you?! Yami: No… Seto: THEN GET OUT! Me: *Walks in* Ready? Seto: NO!!! Yami: *equally loud* YES!!! Me: ok… Seto: Yami get the *beep* out of my picture! Yami: even if I look cute like this? *cuteness* Seto: O-o;; Me: *snap* Room 3: Serenity Me: *walks in* so how ya doin? Serenity: Great almost done Me: ok now put your hand on your hat… perfect Tristan and Duke walk in: *both8* (O)_____(O) Serenity: How do I look guys? *no response* Serenity: guys? Me: -_-;; *snap* ROOM 4: Bakura Me: *walks in* Bakura: NAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FEAR ME!!! Me: -_-;; Ready? Bakura: Yes I am!!! I am the picture of evil! I love this holiday! You know I was the first to worship on this holiday oh so many years ago and… Me: Whatever *snap* Y. Marik and Malik walk in Malik: Oh I wanna be in a picture!!! Y. Marik: Oh Ra not more of this crap Bakura: OUT!!! This is my room!!!! Y Marik: oh give it a rest weakling Bakura: >.< Malik: Aw I love pictures…. *day dreams* Y Marik: I just want to finish my new toys… Malik: Here Baku eat some of this in the picture. I made it especially for you. Bakura: V_V;; why me? Me: ^_~ *snap* Ryou walks in Ryou: Oh did I miss the pic again? Bakura: Great my weaker self… Malik: YEY! Ryou come over here!! Can we take one more pic please? Me: ah sure… Y Marik: no… Bakura: no… Ryou: Yey! Malik: hey I have some pumpkins was can use! Bakura: Fine I’ll use my costume from last year… *mumbles* (though not as good as this years) Y Marik: NOOOO!!! Don’t you dare put me in that stupid thing! Ryou: hehehe This sign will go great here… Y Marik: NOoo!!! Malik: *smile* Me: *snap* ROOM 5: Joey Me: *walks in* -_- *sigh* you ready? Joey: yup Me: and your suppose to be?… Joey: just something I found on sale Me: ok…. A scape Goat lands on Joeys sholder Joey: What the… Me: *snap* ROOM 6: Mai and Tea Tea: There now your hair is perfect ^-^ Mai: hmmm… Tea: What you don’t like it? Mai: Its not that its just… Me: *walking in* Ready? Tea: I am! *poses* Me: ok *snap* Mai: mmm… Could you only get my hair please? Me: sure but your outfit is so cute ^-^ Mai: only the hair… Me: *snap* ROOM 7: Mokuba Mokuba: hehehehe Me: *opens door* Are y-- O__o;; Mokuba: Quick take the picture! Seto: MOKUBA!!!!!! Me: that is so cute! *snap! Me: and that’s all the pictures this year!!! I hope you all have a wonderful Halloween! Everyone: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! *hugs and kisses everyone* Kara p.s. hehehe heres a pic I found and it’ll represent me though it has nothing at all to do with me!

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