Sunday, October 3, 2004

Story

Reality This is not a true story - Written by: Calla Harris Introductions Every thought and every feeling we have comes from the inner sanctum of our minds. The emotions we know and the pain we feel can never amount to the life we must live. We wish to understand anything and everything around us even if it means believing in the impossible. I changed myself to help with this fate. I am alone in the world. This is my story. Chapter 1 Indigo Roses From your tears do they grow, The roses bred of indigo. Endless nights and endless days, Bring the pain of many rains. Be it not the way today, But fortified from way away. Black is the color of darkest night, In which the world likes to fight. The cries of vengeance, pain and destruction, Brings more ordained corruption. In your bed safe at home, The sleepless nights bore to the bone. Visions of death etched deep in mind, Could not be unleashed for fear of mine. The thought, it seems, is more than that, As tears flow down in endless cast. The earth it shudders to being inert, And yet it moves with power of court. In the fields do they play, The silent game of surreal clay. And from their tears do they grow, The roses bred of indigo. ****** Dear Phillip, I’m sorry I have to do this but there really is no other choice. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought about nothing just to have something happen. I ask your forgiveness for the pain I have caused. I only meant to have you understand. I do not care about you anymore. I wish only to end my life. I’ve never enough for those that need me so I’d thought I’d end it right here. I burned the letter you gave me last year. The ashes are buried in the backyard. I killed an anthill, just so it would blend. Your words hurt so much, the letters and words are forever burned into my mind from the countless times of reading it. Though now I can think of only one sentence, “If you are that - than we, can never be” But you never gave me a chance! I would have changed for you, only you. Now you have another, one that is so much better than me. My friends tell me to go for it if I truly love you. But I will never break what you have with another. I love my friends and I love you just the same. If only we’d met at a different time. I wouldn’t have fallen as hard as I did. I miss you so but only as a friend. Those feeling of love have long gone away. I write this now only to stop the pain. I’ve lost my best friend yesterday. I’ll never hear from her again and it turns out she was suicidal, go figure. Since then I’ve only thought of death and everything in between. My heart aches with the loneliness that I just can’t seem to fill. But its not your fault, it never was. It was that I put my faith in the world, my friends, and you. So perhaps I will, sitting in math as I am. I should be quick and no one will care. Then maybe, I’ll finally leave you, sitting there, with the one you chose over me. Goodbye

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