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AIM
• YamiSeto7
E-mail
• Click Here
Vitals
Birthday
• 1988-08-14
Gender
•
Female
Location
• here *blink*
Member Since
• 2004-07-04
Occupation
• student
Real Name
• Calla-san
Personal
Achievements
• Already done with one year of college
Anime Fan Since
• ugh, I'm not sure really... so long ago it was...
Favorite Anime
• Yu-Gi-Oh, Sailor Moon, Naruto, Bleach....
Goals
• to (finish and) publish my books aka stories, etc. and I now have a publisher ^-^ now I just and to finish my book!
Hobbies
• Drawing, writing, reading, Dueling, collecting, ect...
Talents
• Dueling, singing, Writing, helping my friends.
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Monday, November 1, 2004
here do i leave my thoughts and mind, love me as you will but only pass judgment went you can tell me how do you be me.
Please just let me cry,
These tears that I can not hide.
Words deeper than knifes can cut,
Penetrate my soul deeper thus.
My mind is winding down,
I am losing control,
Losing what I had
What I need
Things I lost are gone
My hope failed
All I loved blackened
Never whole always half
Leave me in my state of pain
For you never cared before
No one did
I am alone
These tears no one will see
My shattered heart you can not mend
This is me
Losing my sanity
That’s it! I’m fed up with my parents. They think I’m the problem! I just don’t care anymore. My father no longer scares me. His empty threats mean nothing to me. Oh how I wish to cry but my tears are so empty, so dry. Why I go on I do not know. Cold steel feels better against my flesh than any hand could comfort. I wish they would just leave me alone!
Ok now that I’ve scared you this is what happened. My dad is forcing me to make a schedule, a contract, with a written out agreement to do better in school and do everything right and to sigh my name at the bottom. I refuse to sign my name, my NAME, the thing that is all mine, to a parchment where he can do as he pleases. I will not sign away my soul to him. It is mine and he can not take that from me! Take my life take my things but leave me my name. It is all I have left.
I… I am so weary… I’m losing grip of my life. He steals my poetry, my stories, burning them, telling me I can not write, it is a foul life, I only want what is best for you… he takes my soul from me a rips it up and gives it back torn and depressed. I lose myself. I cry about disappointing him only because I feared what he would do. I do not want to be beat again, like the last step mom did. I do not want to be put down where all I try to do is help. I want to be free, yet he binds me with this torment. I want to cry but I cannot for he said I couldn’t. To listen to follow I am lost and no will of my own to do as I want.
Believe me as I say this I would end my life if I could but unless he says I can I can’t even draw the blade across my skin to draw blood. My fate binds me to this world. Bound and tortured a sacrifice to mankind to better their lives. Leave me to find my whole where I am only half. To be whole again ah but are we ever whole? These thoughts I ponder as the burning desire to runaway flames in secret in my heart. Locked away from his prying eyes.
~Kara~ |
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