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Saturday, January 15, 2005


blood, thoughts and ugly school

oh how I hate school. The homework and grades just seem to give my father fire power when he wants to make me feel like crap. I'm sorry for not being able to get on more. I've just been so busy. *sigh* But I'll tell you a secret

Thursday I worked until 10 that night. But at work I turned a corner to quickly and it cut my arm. When I got home I washed all the dryed blood off and pulled out my knife.

It has always been to dull to cut the skin but I suddenly had an inspiration. I took an old razor of mine and broke off the plastic piece that held the sharp piece in. I didn't think it was sharp enough so I bearly ran it across my skin. Right ehere I had been cut at work.

and it worked. I just stared at the blood for a long time. I had to blink quite a few time before I had realized I accidently cut myself.

HA! you say but it really was on accident. But at least now I know it works. A feeling inside me almost burns to do it again but I won't. Not for a long time.

Anyway I work again tonight and I'm off monday from school. Are you all? I'll try to update again tomorrow but I don't know what my schedual is yet.

Much love,
~ Calla ~

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