myOtaku.com: younggrasshopper

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-06-06
Gender
• Female
Location
• USA
Member Since
• 2004-12-20
Occupation
• Senior in high school next fall
Real Name
• Rebekah

Personal

Achievements
• Learning how to use chopsticks. :)
Getting good grades.
Last, but certainly not least...finding out about Gackt! ^_^
Anime Fan Since
• Forever! I'm not really sure. A LONG time! XD

Favorite Anime
• INUYASHA, Full-Metal Alchemist, FLCL, Wolf's Rain, Cowboy Bebop, DNAngel, Ghost in the Shell, Fruits Basket, Saikano, Bleach, Chrono Crusade, Ouran High School Host Club
Goals
• Finish writing my book called EVY KARA.
Become a famous author.
Go to Japan, China, S. Korea, & Egypt!
Learn how to play the guitar & piano.
Learn Japanese, Mandarin, and Korean. ^_^
Hobbies
• Watching anime
Listening to music
Talents
• Drawing anime characters, writing, & making websites

myOtaku.com: younggrasshopper

Monday, September 11, 2006

Bummed

Current Music: Utada: Sakura Drops :: Current Mood: Lonely :: Time Posted: 7:26PM ET

I love this song. :) And yet again...I'm lonely. Hmph...what else is new? -__- And here's the picture for the day....before I go into my rant....thing. It's Utada:

So yeah. I'm lonely. I feel like an uber loser. I have my friends. I'm grateful for that. Even if they all call me a loser (Not the ones I have from here). I know they're only "joking", but I don't know. I guess it's just a totally different story.

Anyway, I'm feeling really lonely. All my friends are out having lives. I'm stuck at home. I feel like such a loser. I never do anything. I've been told to join field hockey. I like hockey. It's really the only sport I like to play. I just don't think I'd be good enough at it. I really don't. I'm not very fit....like...at all. That's another reason I feel like a loser. I have asthma, so that doesn't really help either. Also, I only have two more years left in high school. I just feel like it'd be pointless for me to just suddenly join now. I really wish I was more active in stuff though. I see my friends at school, but come on. It's school. >.< Plus, because I'm not in anything, I don't get out much and see other people in the world. Have I ever told you that most of the guys here suck?

Now that brings me to the worst part of it all. Our homecoming dance is this weekend. And guess what? I yet again do not have anyone to "go with". I know you don't need someone to "go with". It's just...I don't know. Until last year, I refused to go to any school dances...for the very reason of me not having someone to go with. Sure...there are my friends. I'm grateful that I at least have them, and that they are willing to have me go with them. It's just...it's not the same...ya know? And I know I'm just being some lame teenage girl. You don't need to tell me that. I'm fully aware. In fact, I'm sure one of my friends will slap me over the head or something in art tomorrow morning after reading this. Just the way she is...haha. Don't get me wrong. She is a really good friend. I really am glad we got to be better friends two years ago. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her sometimes.

But what I'm really trying to say with the whole homecoming thing is that, I'm a coward. I can't talk to guys. If they're my friends, sure. But if I like him, no. If I'm on here, definitely (although not always). But in person, definitely not. I'm hopeless. And as EnVy has told me, I am not assertive enough. >.<

And to my next....thing. I really don't feel like I deserve such good friends. I mean...I had so many people on here leave me comments for my last post, and I never got back to them. I really do want to. I just get so lazy. I'm a horrible friend. I really am. And I feel like I'm just taking up space on here. I'm just taking up a high ranking for someone more deserving. I feel like such a horrible person. Don't get me wrong, it's an honor to be #47 or whereever my spot is now. And I really did work hard to get there. I'm just really not doing a good job to stay there.

Another problem. I still haven't gotten around to finishing my new layout for here. Why? Because I'm lazy. And not to mention the fact that I'm horrible with computer graphics. I'm not even that great with HTML. Not the worst at it, but definitely not the best either. Maybe I'll get a chance to work on it soon...hopefully even after I'm done typing this up.

Hmmm...I feel like a waste of a person. All I ever do is get in the way or make the people around me sad...because of my sadness. I'm even here complaining about stuff I have no right to be complaining about while other people have it way worse than me. And sometimes I wonder why I'm even here. I don't feel like I contribute to society at all. And I keep thinking to myself, maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe I won't be so lonely. Maybe I'll actually find a "someone". But all that ever leads to is another dissappointment because I'm always wrong.

Then there is also this freakin' book banning thing going on at my school! What the heck?! I'm not even gonna get into that. I'm sure my post would be twice as long if I did. -__-

So this was basically a super long and pointless post. I'm really sorry to any of you who may have actually read it all. Or even just part of it. As I've said before, my life really isn't that interesting. Unless you find this stuff interesting. Then may I suggest going into psychology? Haha! Wow...I'm such a dork.

Ok...I'll let you go now. TTYL! ~Younggrasshopper
AKA
~LuSt

Characters:

Black Stones

Trapnest

~~~~~~

Yes. There are more, but I don't feel like putting them. Check out this site for more.

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