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Monday, March 6, 2006
How to annoy your interviewer (lol its hilarious!)
How to Annoy Your Interviewer
1. While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
2. Repeat everything your interviewer says. Keep going until he or she yells at you.
Ask hopefully if you got the job.
3. Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth. Smile a lot.
4. If your interviewer attempts to alert you about the broccoli, make a big show of getting the broccoli out, hold on your finger and study it intently for a few moments. Say to loudly to yourself, Broccoli? How long has that been there? Whens the last time I ate broccoli? Then shrug and put the broccoli back in your mouth and eat it.
5. Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he or she farted.
6. Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
7. Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
8.In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewers desk in front of you, then say, "Mind if I rest this here during the interview?"
9. Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."
10. As you follow your interviewer to their office, kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face. Laugh uncontrollably. When they get up and look at you, point to one of his colleagues walking by. Look exaggeratedly innocent.
11. Show up in your jogging outfit, run in place during the entire interview.
12. Bathroom excuse #1: Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. As you walk out the door make a loud fart noise with your mouth then sigh and say, "DARN! Oh well! Then return to your seat and smile at the interviewer.
13. Bathroom excuse #2: Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, come back with the entire front of your pants wet.
14. Ask for a company Porsche.
15. Comment on how much you like your interviewers spouses picture. Take the picture and put it in your briefcase. Make sure the interviewer is watching.
16. Some time during the interview slip some chiclets in your mouth, then sneeze as loud as you can launching entire contents in your mouth in his or her face, cover your mouth and say, "I sink I loth by theeth."
17. As you reach inside your briefcase to put up the picture you stole, pull out a sock puppet, introduce him as "Socko" and harass your interviewer with it.
18. During the interview reach over and grab at your interviewers face and say, "Got your nose!" while clenching your fist. Demand that you get hired or you wont give back their nose.
19. Chew tobacco, spit in pencil holder.
20. Announce that you are committing a hostile take over of the company Proceed to fire your interviewer. Yell at them until they cry. Use Donald Trump as your muse.
21. At the end of the interview end it with a three stooges eye jab followed by a smack to the forehead finish it off with a, "woo-woo-woo-woooooo....!"
a friend sent this to me
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