Thursday, January 13, 2005

Shuang Doa by Jay Chou

You can hear sword fighting in here. Wonder if any one dies...

Anyways, yea. English is now evil. Well, for this year.

We did this little line dance in PE. Weird. And the Electric Slide. Very very...country-ish too me.

Tis strange. This one's legs hurt no more after not running for 2 weeks or so. Hmm...

In Spanish, we had no break because 'SuperStar' put his pencil in the microwave and got it caught on fire.

Now he's suspended. What a 'tard.

------

NEW TAX LAWS EFFECTIVE JAN. 1, 2000:

Subject: new tax laws

Penis Tax


The only thing IRS has not yet taxed is the penis:

This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it's in the hole. It has two dependents, but they're nuts.

Effective January 1, 2000, penises will be taxed according to size.

The brackets are as follows:

10"-12" Luxury Tax
8"-10" Pole Tax
5"-8" Privilege Tax
4"-5" Nuisance Tax

Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

Issues still under consideration are as follows:

Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms deductible as work clothes?

------

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -- they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities, politicians or foreign diplomats.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

----

QueenBrat.com