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Hello class! I am your teacher Ms.Amber. Can you say that? Mi-ss-A-mm-bur. Good! Well today I am going to tell you a story! Yay! This story is about Sesshoumaru's birthday. It was my first post but I don't think anyone read it so I shall put it up now! Enjoy and don't spill your juice or get crumbs everywhere. I just cleaned up this place...Joseph Wheeler get off of that book case!...
Sesshoumaru’s Birthday Party
By: Mari and Jojo
DISCLAIMER:
Mari: It’s a familiar story: we own none of the characters involved in this story, so—
Jojo: Yippi-kai-yea! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar rules all! Yeehaw!
Mari: Let’s just start the story now…I don’t even want to go there…
“Tell me again,” said Inuyasha, “exactly why are we throwing Sesshoumaru a birthday party?”
“Well, you’re the one who said that you didn’t know when Sesshoumaru’s birthday was,” replied Kagome. “So we’re throwing him one now.”
Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were all sitting around a table topped with both a garish tablecloth and a birthday cake. Sesshoumaru was sitting at the head of the table and had a very sullen expression on his face. He was wearing a plastic crown that Kagome had put on top of his head, and he evidently didn’t like it one bit.
“Happy birthday, Sesshoumaru!” squealed Kagome.
“It’s not my birthday,” said Sesshoumaru.
“Let’s celebrate!”
“How did you find me here, anyway?”
“I’ll sing a song for you!”
“What did I ever do to deserve this?” said Sesshoumaru.
Kagome began to sing.
*Happy birthday to you*
“Yeah…happy…right.”
*Happy birthday to you*
“I wonder what’s on TV right now…”
*Happy birthday dear Fluffy*
Sesshoumaru went rigid with anger. “Don’t…say…dear Fluffy…again…” he gritted out.
*Happy birthday to you!*
“Are you done yet?” asked Sesshoumaru irritably.
Kagome took a deep breath and began to sing again.
*Happy birthday to you*
“Oh dear god!”
*Happy birthday to you*
“Jaken! Help!”
*Happy birthday dear Fluffy*
“What…did I…just…tell…you?”
*Happy birthday toooooo yoooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu!*
Kagome stopped singing. “Sesshoumaru? Hello?”
“My poor ears,” groaned Sesshoumaru.
“Aw, cheer up and have a happy birthday,” said Kagome.
“Leave me alone, you accursed befoulment!”
Kagome addressed Inuyasha. “Inuyasha, isn’t there something you want to say to your brother on his birthday?”
“Yes,” said Inuyasha. “This wasn’t my idea. So don’t hurt me!”
Kagome turned back to Sesshoumaru. “Now it’s time to cut the cake!”
“I’d rather not,” said Sesshoumaru.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Kagome. “You have to make a wish and blow out the candles.”
“Fine,” said Sesshoumaru. “I wish you would go away and leave me alone!”
“Oh, stop,” said Kagome. “I think it’s horrible that you’ve never had a birthday party before. I mean, what would we do without birthday parties?”
“Probably be a whole lot better off,” said Inuyasha.
“I wasn’t asking you,” said Kagome. “Anyway, Sesshoumaru’s the Birthday Boy.”
Sesshoumaru scowled. “I do not appreciate that horrible stigma. It is not my birthday. And I am not a boy. I am a full-grown taiyoukai.”
“You’re the Birthday Boy,” Kagome insisted stubbornly. “See, the crown on your head proves that you’re the Birthday Boy. If you weren’t the Birthday Boy, you would have a regular party hat, like everybody else.”
Sure enough, everybody except Sesshoumaru was wearing a conical pink party hat with a pink pompom at the tip. Nobody seemed very happy about his or her hat, either.
Without a word, Sesshoumaru placed the tip of one of his claws on the plastic crown and melted it with his Dokkasou. He then dropped it to the ground, and Jaken picked it up and used it as a hula-hoop.
“HEY!” shrieked Kagome indignantly. “You melted the Birthday Boy hat!”
“Oh, no,” said Sesshoumaru sarcastically. “How will I ever survive now?”
Kagome, however, got over her incredulity remarkably quickly. “Well, that’s okay, because now it’s time to open presents!”
Sesshoumaru looked very miserable indeed as Kagome tossed him a package wrapped in shiny pink paper. She missed, of course, and it hit him on the forehead.
“Ouch,” said Sesshoumaru.
“Well, open it!” squealed Kagome.
Sesshoumaru opened the package and peered at its contents critically.
“Oh, look, a Care Bear. Lucky me.” He then tossed the offensive teddy bear to Rin, who squealed with delight and ran off to torture Jaken with it.
Inuyasha then gave Sesshoumaru his present. Upon opening the parcel, Sesshoumaru discovered some kind of spherical object.
“It’s a smoke device,” Inuyasha informed Sesshoumaru. “You use it to escape from guarded areas. You throw it on the ground, and smoke comes out, so you can slip away unseen.”
Sesshoumaru stared at it for a moment, then quickly threw it down. A smoke screen instantly popped up. Through the thick smoke, one could hear Miroku’s voice yelling, “Head for the hills!” Sesshoumaru could be heard as well, saying, “Jaken! Rin! Follow me!” When the smoke cleared, everybody except Kagome was gone.
“Hello? Hello? Where is everybody?” Kagome scratched her head in bafflement. “Now, where could they have gotten to? ” Kagome sighed. “Everybody always seems to leave early when I throw birthday parties…”
Meanwhile, Sango, Shippo, Jaken, Rin, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, and Miroku were all running frantically away from the site of the birthday party. “Where should we go?” panted Shippo.
“Ask Sesshoumaru,” said Miroku. “He should get to decide where to go. He is, after all, the Birthday Boy.”
“Shut up! I’m not a boy! And it’s not my birthday!”
“If it’s not your birthday, Sesshoumaru-sama, can I have your birthday cake?” Rin inquired.
“You actually brought that thing along with you?”
And so, on Sesshoumaru’s almost-birthday, he received cake, which he hated, presents, which he hated, a plastic crown, which he hated, a grating rendition of the birthday song, which he hated, and the unwanted title of Birthday Boy, which he hated most of all. And so, due to all this, Sesshoumaru learned one valuable thing: birthday parties are evil. End of story.
The End
Now wasn't that fun? *Oogles class room* Alright, who gave Ed sugar? Edward Elric come back here and put your clothes on! Miroku, keep your hands to your self! Why do I put up with you kids?!
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