Thursday, August 9, 2007

secret base~kimi ga kureta mono~
three things have become so painfully obvious to me in the last day. i feel like i've been thinking non stop and my head hurts really bad but yeah.

one thing is how fragile and precious youth and love and friendship and life is.
i've been friends with nicky and cassie for about four years now and if i ever got word that something awful happened to them. i can't even imagine how i'd react.
i mean even thinking about it makes me want to throw up. you guys really are my best friends.

it just seems so unfair about what happened and i'm trying not to think about what happened because of how awful it makes me feel so i can only...it's bad.

another thing i've realized is how important friendship is to me.
i've never been able to make friends easily and i never seem to keep them for very long so when i make them even if i don't admit i care for them alot.
i've known sera for awhile and she's fast becoming one of the people i love to talk to and my friendship with her and my other friends too is very important to me.

the last thing is that even though i can talk to ALL my friends on here everyday we're all so far.
i mean i feel close over the internet and stuff but we're all really so distant in a way. it's a weird feeling.

i had some other stuff to say to but my mind is going crazy, i've never thought this much about anything or been this emotional about anything even though i'm still trying to not show it.
i kind of need to gather my thoughts before i post -_- so it doesn't seem so random

zone-secret base~kimi ga kureta mono~

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i don't know why but this song always manages to capture whatever emotion i'm feeling at the moment.
i really love the lyrics to this song.
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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

yeah, i just went to my backroom and saw that crows updated after taking the site down but. yeah, you probably already know because of his small friendlist but it's awful.

i never really got a chance to know him as well as i would have liked to but still when i read the news my heart sunk and i couldn't feel it beat for a second.
it just seems painfully unfair that things like this have to happen to people.

so i'm a little sadder then i was a few minutes ago and i can only imagine how bad it is for those of you that knew mattie very well.
it's important to keep the spirit of him alive and remember why we cared for him so much.

i hope brendon's okay too.
i saw a very unsettling comment he made and now it's on my mind. i think it's important that you take with you...what you loved about a person and keep on going and fighting and living for that person.
i truly hope and pray that brendon keeps fighting.
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genki+
so i decided to go to the picnic thing with my friends but it turned out that it was mostly my friends other friends and i don't really know them so i'm actually glad i missed most of the picnic^_^;
see what had happened was it took me a REALLY long time to leave the house but i didn't really want to go anyway so i didn't mind. but when i did get there we pretty much just broke off into two different groups and it worked out because it was mostly my friends.

and i saw tamara's babeh she was cute and she kept smiling at me which i thought was funny because babehs and puppehs tend to not like me.
i've often wondered about that.

and i still feel bad, but a little better and i hide it really, really, really, really well because no one is ever able to tell whats wrong with me.

SUMIMASEN!!!!
i've been really bad about getting to sites recently so i'll be doing that tonight or in the wee hours of the morning because i just love you guys like that.

morning musume-genki+

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Tuesday, August 7, 2007

as for one day
oh, i don't know what's wrong with me. i just kind of don't feel like doing anything anymore T_T

but i have been listening to alot more music for whatever reason.
also there's a picnic type event that i've been invited too but i don't think i'm going. i probably should though because it's probably the last time i'll get to see some of my friends before we all go off to our various colleges' and after high school lives.
unfortunatly they decided to do it during VERY HOT and rain weather. two of my friends' have afropuffs' because of the humidity.
it's actually kind of funny.

and sweet fancy moses why does summer have to end so soon. i think you should be able to choose which part of the year you take one and a half months off for. because i'd totally do it in the winter because i do not enjoy myself at all in the heat.

morning musume-as for one day(live)

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morning musumee-as for one day

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Sunday, August 5, 2007

not feeling well

What kind of goth are you? (with pictures)

You're the goth of all goths. Hidden in your dark and dreary mansion, you spent all day thinking of ways to torture and trick people. You certainly do act like the devil, or at least that's what people say. But, trust me, to other people, you are worse than the devil...
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nn
nWhat Kind Of Villain Are You?n
nHosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.n

Where was your soul born?[pics + detailed answeres]

Your soul was born in Space.Your soul was born in the Darkness of Space. You are pessimistic, cold and distant and Darkness is your element. You're a little like Blood, but you don't just naturally hate. Something really bad has happened and instead of getting seriously depressed like Ice, you got filled with anger. You're telling yourself that you want to be alone, but the truth is that you don't really know what you want yet. Maybe loneliness isn't the right way? You try to focus on yourself and don't want to give attention to anything or anyone. You want people to think that you're a horrible person so they might stay away from you. Isn't this just a way of running away from your problems and fears? Take control of your own life again! You can't hide forever. People can be nice you know.
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How evil are you?

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Very High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Oi! What Kind of Loner Are You?

True Loner
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If I was an Invader Zim Character, I'd be:

src="http://members.aol.com/MillwardWebDsgn/Zim/chip_gaz2.gif"
alt="Click to see what Invader Zim Character you could be!">

Take the Invader Zim personality test

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

What part of life do you represent? (Anime Pictures)

You represent the wisedom of life. Though you may not be a book-worm, you are light-hearted and quick-witted. You love to dream and are wise beyond your years. Not even the smartest can call you dumb...Though make sure you do not confuse fantasy with reality.
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What kind of dark person are you?

Sad... You use the darkness to hide yourself from the world. Something has really hurted you, which made you turn dark. Darkness makes you feel save and that is why you stay there.

Please rate ^^
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kinda down and don't really have anything to say T_T


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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

shabondama
sooo the reason i hate the midwest is because of the weather. it's was so hot outside. and damn this big city with all of these non existant tree's. i mean jesus christ on a cracker there was no relief when i went outside.
and silly me i just HAD to wear a black shirt, i wasn't sweating or anything but it was still pretty hot...and now my hair is a little blonde in the front.

but that aside school starts back at the end of this month -_-
10 long hard months of school+2 months off=bullshit. but on the plus side...FREE COLLEGE!!! i know i keep bringing that up but it's just so free...bad news' it's still at high school T_T

i think this is going to be a really bad year, i really think i'm going to clash with alot more authority figures this year then i did last year. if only because i'm slighty more emotional then i was when i left school. i'm still mostly apathetic and cynical but i have just a wittle more feeling then i did a few months ago.
personally i blame you people with your kind words and friendship >_<

hitomi yoshizawa and eri kame-shabondama

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

dancing natsu matsuri
so i just got the new berryz koubou album...it's awesome...really. sakura wa rakusa is god in song form.

but chyea as summer rages on i don't think i'm going to get a job. because i kind of don't see the point in working for four weeks then quiting when school starts. i suppose i could hold a job and do school but technically i'll be in two schools because of those wonderful AP classes i'll have.

me and a friend actually don't need anymore high school so we're going to have alot of free college....i love the way that sounds...FREE COLLEGE...woo...thats sexeh!

so who knows, i think i'll still look though because now i need moneys because stuff i like is not cheap.

and in keeping with my summer theme...we gets music!!
just wondering, are these video's actually being watched by you guys. i'm going to post them regardless but i was just curious.

10nin matsuri-dancing natsu matsuri

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natsu matsuri means summer party...i think-_-;

EDITnn
nWhat Pokemon Starter Are You?n
nHosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.n

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

taiyou no kiss
so i really, really can't sleep. and when i do eventually fall alseep it's not a good deep sleep it's a very restless sleep.
but on the plus side i woke up at 4am today. now i know that would usually be a bad thing but there was a BIG thunder storm with lots of lightning and wind and rain. ish was pretteh! and you all know how much i like the rain and or rain storms...and if you didn't now you have a little bitty tidbit of information on me.

but alas it didn't last very long and it turned out to be a bright, sunny, hot day. which interestingly enough i hate-_-
ya know because they sun is in your eye and your sweating and stuffs. it's not cool.

zone-taiyou no kiss

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

seifuku ga jama wo suru
now. taking a slight side quest in bringing you guys updates on my dull life and summery video's of japanese origin i'd like to bring you a knew group that isn't actually new at all but i just discovered them and i don't like them AKB48 also known as akihabara 48

now i do think this an idol group but i can't help but think that their trying to steal morning musume's thunder. now apparently theres actually about 48 girls in the group and the group is set up into three different smaller groups of A, K, and B. but all 48 girls never appear in singles together.

now let me just say H!P>AKB48. if a fight were to mysteriously happen i'm thinking hello project would kill akihabara 48. seriously.

now i've picked up some japanese over these past year or so and i'm not expert but i do know that
seifuku ga jama wo suru means something like my school skirt is getting in the way now. yeah...these girls look WAY to young for that. but it's the only song of theres i like so far.

akb48-seifuku ga jama wo suru

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EDIT-i found lyrics O_O

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

halation summer
i think it's going rain again~dances~ lots of rain this summer.
and still nothing particularly interesting has happened just playing okami. and not even playing, i've gotten in about 10 hours on that game and 9 hours is me running around making flowers and suns in the sky.

but let me just say this, i've been freakishly tired. and it's only weird because i haven't really been doing anything, i mean i do kind of need to go look for a job but i can't seem to wield myself out of bed in the morning, seriously. it's kinda sad because i'm typically a very early riser. i on average see reruns of angel, buffy, and the pratice and by that time i'm already to go. so i don't know what up with my sleeping habits.

okay, so here's what going to happen: i'm going to beat okami, then i'm going to beat shin megami tensei devil summoner, then i'm going to beat final fantasy xii, then i'm going to trade those games in and get moneys. and with those money's i'm going to buy the last four volumes and deathnote and while i'm doing all of this i intend to fill out lots of job applications online...yeah that sounds like a good plan to me.

beryyz koubou-halation summer


maasa and saki rock...that is all.
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